A Critical Father

[vlp1968 83]

I lost all my excess weight after surgery in 9/09. In the last year I have gained about 50 pounds back. My father is trying to be supportive I know but I find his feedback and comments on what I'm eating soooo unhelpful. I have expressed this to him in a kind way, yet he keeps doing it. I know it's out of love and concern- and I have told him that, but also told him I don't like it and it's not helpfull. He comes off as critical and judgemental- haven't said that to him. Any advice on how to handle it. I do love him and know he loves me. I don't want to be disrespecful, but I really need him to stop. Anyone else faceing a similar issue with a friend or family member? Thanks!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

My best advice is to point out being honest doesn't necessarily mean disrespectful. You can tell him "Dad, I know you're trying to help, but your comments don't help at all. In fact, it only makes me feel criticized and judged. Please, keep all comments about my weight and food intake to yourself".

That's not disrespectful, that's just be honest.

[♥LovetheNewMe♥ 1,216]

Our parents like others think they are helping by telling what we can see. i agree with above post, tell him how it makes you fell than move on.

[Mayasgram 351]

Just wondering what you are wanting from dear old dad. You start out by saying he is supportive and you know he loves you. But you find his comments critical. Well I can imagine his seeing you slipping into the old weight gaining patterns is hard for him to watch. So he is trying to say STOP doing what you are doing while treading carefully .

So I suggest you cut dad some slack and look at the person who is really responsible for you frustration.It is not his fault you have gained 50 lbs. And when you get serious about your issues he will be right there to support your efforts. Just like he was in the begining....

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

Also, since it has been a few years you may want to consider going back to your surgeon. Perhaps, it's time for another fill. I know some of the Fluid is lost each year.

Also, I do agree to have a conversation with your father; however, I do wonder too if some of your frustration is really from within. I am not judging or criticizing that you have gained and am only concerned. So, I hope you can get back on track for your own well-being.

Best wishes to you.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

I think the first thing to address is Why have you gained 50 lbs back in a year? Your father while seemingly being critical may be just worried about you and doesn't know how to express himself. Maybe sit down and talk to him about his concerns and the. Have a conversation with. Your self and your dr about your gain.

Bst of luck to get back on track.