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So I was at my in laws tonight and my brother in law was a total jerk to me! My sister in law was asking me about the surgery. Then her husband says in a nasty tone " why can't you just eat right and exercise?? " " why do you have to get surgery? " so I started saying that when you get too big its hard to exercise. That my feet and knees hurt. I said I think I also have acid reflux . He says again nasty tone " either you have it or you don't. How can you not know? " I was so pissed! No one else was in room except my sister in law. She didn't say anything to him about how mean he was being. If my husband heard him he would have told him off. I didn't say anything back because tonight she was going into the hospital to have her baby. So I know he was stressed about that but he was out of line! I am still so mad!!

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Don't sweat it HUN!! You have to do what's best for you!! I know it hurts, but just let that be your motivation!!

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Sorry to hear that. He could be stressed, but I would still have a one-on-one conversation to him. He needs to know that surgery is a tool and know the details of the surgery. He also needs to know it is NOT ok to say hurtful, uneducated comments to you.

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Sorry so many dumb people out there...

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Just chalk it up to ignorance. Not saying he is an ignorant guy, just when it comes to dieting & WLS. He opened his mouth and inserted his foot.

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I am only telling a select few people that I am dong this because I don't want people to be judgmental like this. I have told my husband (obviously) and besides that my mother and best friend. I'll have to tell my boss and my HR director to approve the time off since I'm still a probationary employee- but other than that I really don't pan on telling anyone including my sister and brother until it's over and done.

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People like him are not worth getting your blood pressure elevated for...take him and his ignorance with a grain of salt.

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You can't fix stupid people, well some people think you can but, I don't. He is in the same catagory as those people who think WLS is the "EASY" way out. Can I have a show of hands from all on this site who think this is the "EASY" way out. I did not think so! I rest my case. So sorry he hurt your feelings but your time and energy is not worth wasting on his ignorance. You will meet people like this along your journey but your going to make them all eat their words. So Show them what you are really made of and just let their words roll off your back, You will do this and show them all!

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Thank you everyone. I feel better now, but I was still mad for awhile after. I can't wait for everyone to say How good I look and just give him a look like " maybe you should get this done " LOL thank not again. You guys always help!

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next time walk out. Tslking or stying in the room just incourages him to be a ass. Dont say a word and leave no matter what else is going on. If he talks to like that on the hone hang up beieve me they soon learn there is way to speak to a lady.

line dancer

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I feel your pain. I went through that same exact thing last weekend only it was my father-in-law, who is a retired doc! Then my own father said that maybe in another 40 pounds he might be able to tell I'd lost weight! Talk about a double wammy! I just chalked it up to ignorance. I'll be the one smiling- for the REST OF MY LIFE! I did this for me, not them. I find that as the weight goes away, my confidence goes up. Comments that would have floored me in the past just roll off my shoulders now. Hope you can put the hurtful comments behind you and enjoy your new life as you move forward!

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I don't agree with MellissaW, he doesn't need to know and you don't need to explain yourself to anyone. Be your own judge and jury, hold your own court. Ask for others opinions when you want it. It is not important for your success to have everyone agree with you or anyone for that matter. It's nice, but not necessary.

My husband and the two children still at home are the only ones who know about my surgery. I didn't feel like hearing it from anyone else. Frankly because I don't care about other ppls opinions and I only need positive people around me right now (banded 10/5) Sad thing is my mom could be of use to me post op but I just can't deal with the drama right now. I'm too busy finally taking care of me!

Brush it off, it won't be the last time you are disappointed. Big hug if encouragement from me, I understand!

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
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      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


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