support

[l.a.susan 0]

this is my first post on any lapband forum in a very long time. every time

i posted the fact that in a very long time. since banding i got questioned and

lectured on what i ate and when. i objected and suggested that i had asked specific questions and did not ask for nutritional advice. i got basted.

so ,although i dont want to make anyone angry or censure you, please , in order to support me (if you want to), just listen respectfully and try to share your experiences with me.

i was banded in Mexico in nov 2004. i have yet to loose any weight.

i even returned 6months later because my port had turned.

i have a lapband which states on the registration card will hold 4cc's saline.

about 2months ago i visited my naturopath and she filled me from 4.3 cc;s

all the way to 5.2. im sure my band is in place. i have severe restriction

i cannot eat solid food without having to throw it up due to the pain.

sometimes i can chew it very finely and it will go through but not much.

i am also a vegtarian so im talking about bread tortilla, Pasta etc.lettuce.

my situation is that due to a broken spine and 5level fusion i have been bedridden since 2003 i am taking high doses of oral narcotics an have a pain pump (im having it removed it doesnt work). i was previouslyvery active (an indoor jock , dance, callenetics, body building, pillates, animal

training and volunteer work , worked full time as employment specialist but was never sedentary) now im up about 5min of every hour. i am 60yrs old and i weight about 186 i was 5'3 but am shrinking. always weighed about 103 until 98 when i fell.

i realize that my age, post menopause, lack of movement and opiates have wreaked havoc on my metabolism, but what i dont understand is the big question "why am i so hungry". i learned to count calories when i was 12 . i have had a weight problem since then so believe me i know how to diet i was successful at all of them (incl pregnant womens urine injection) until i stopped whatever process i was using. on phen fen

and wellbutrin i maintained my weight and knew what it was like to eat like a "normal human being" instead of my last meal, i knew what it felt like to not be hungry and obsessed with food. i got the lapband because i am a compulsive overeater. not cause if didnt know how to diet.

this is why its so frustrating when the only advice i ever get on these forums (never this one all the yahoo) "what are you eating" and all this other dieting advice. ive gotten so frustrated that ive suggested right before leaving that" why would all these people who weight over 300 lbs and had dieted their whole lives think that they could continue "dieting" and they would be able to keep it off just cause they were banded." i hated being cruel but i felt no-one would stick to my issues. i also said if i wanted nutritional advice i would go to the professional sources i had always gone to and not to failed dieters. i just didnt like that people presumed that i hadnt read and understood every available piece of literature including

professional medical abstracts from medline, medscape, pub med and inamed.

please ,if i seem self rightious to you i apologise and you can just ignore me. i just really need to be responded to respectfully. i got a lapband because of one reason. i believed the pamphlet, that my hunger would be less than before. i just need to know why even at being overfilled like this i havnt lost weight and im still just as hungry. sometimes i think its cause i didnt weigh all that much to start and since i had watched my weight since i was 12 i was already calorie and fat and carb retricted.

but i still have yet to experience the one big promise. "diminished" (not lack of) hunger. (like i once experienced on phen fen and wellbutrin)

i hope there is someone out there who will be able to share a similar experience with me. its bad enough that ive lost everything in my life to

chronic intractible pain, but to travel to mexico twice, drugged and in pain, alone, have 2hospital trials for a pain pump and an implant and fills from

the band and in my pump every month for 2yrs (both have a port) and then having the pump fail and the band not do what it promised. im pretty frustrated. thank you in advance for taking the time to read this and respond and not discussing food intake. (lol)

i realize im sticking out my neck here ive just been reading for the last 6months. be gentle. love, susan

p.s.i always say to people that they shouldnt stand next to me cause an anvil might fall on their head.

[the best me 6]

awww, susan. Hang in there. This place is wonderful for love and support and encouragement and you did a great job of asking very specifically what you DO NOT need. So I hope you'll get what you DO need.

Okay, for me, banded "not hungry" is very different from diet pill "not hungry". I still take a diet pill on occasion now that I'm banded. I believe I'm fighting a tough metabolism, after years of abuse and obesity, and the diet pill speeds everything up. I urinate more (quantity) and I sweat easier and I'm more motivated to keep moving all day and I'm NOT motivated to eat much. That's very helpful to me.

Now, my band...I'm not quite tight enough but I don't want to be any tighter. I'm losing, I'm okay, I'm not out of control so if I can avoid a fill, I'm doing it. It's more about the head work for me and if my band is too tight and I CAN'T eat, it just makes me mad and rebellious and I push my band. So tight doesn't work for me. What my band DOES do for me is make me fuller on alot less food per meal. I eat slowly and carefully, I eat reasonable amounts, I don't push it by trying to overeat (usually). If I'm still hungry I eat a WW ice cream bar and don't look back, because saying NO just makes me want it more. So the band really does help the compulsion to overeat, but I have had to learn how to make it work for me. I don't know if any of that helps you at all.

I also think of Vinesqueen, who has had a time with her weight loss. It just isn't falling off no matter what she tries, so you have a kindred spirit there, and a sweet one at that. Cherish her words when she shows up here.

Are you planning a small unfill?

[cashley 0]

I don't have any wonderful words of encourgment, and I'm afraid I haven't been in your shoes but I do want to tell you that I understand and really hope you find the answer that will work for you.

I've only had the band for about 8weeks and my one week pre-op diet and I'm flustrated already so I can only imagine how hard it would be when it goes on over a year. But this time I'm going to keep trying if it take every bit of energy I have.

I know how you feel about wanting support and not a lecture. I think it's in some peoples nature to lecture and think they are helping. It's kind of like that book about Venus and Mar where they say the man always wants to fix things and the women always wants emphtay (spelling). Sometimes when I post here I'm just looking for "Yeah - I feel that way too" and I don't want... "well you shouldn't be eating taco bell."

[Alexandra 55]

Welcome to LBT, Susan! You really do have a rough road here, I'm so sorry. The body is an amazing organism and everything works together; it sounds as though you have many other areas of concern besides just your band. But being too tight (which is what you are) will affect everything else, and not help you lose weight to boot. It's so tempting to keep tightening the band when the weight doesn't come off, we all know that, but it can really work against us in big ways.

Can you get an unfill? You are hungry because you're not eating enough, that's clear enough. And being bedridden will probably just make being tight even worse for your system since gravity can't help you much in moving food down where it belongs. I'm sure you've heard that bread and Pasta are very problematic for most bandsters with good restriction, so that too might be part of your trouble. I know I can only have one or two bites of anything bready (including flour tortillas) before I'm completely full.

Good luck, and please let us know how you're doing!

[vinesqueen 2]

Wow Susan, You sure have a tough row to hoe, as my cherrished Grandmother likes to say.

I'm sure you will get some folks asking what you are eating, but they are just trying to help you analize your diet, or trying to get get an understanding of what it is like. I know know if we have anyother full-time vegies but I think we have some part-timers...

You poor thing! I was overfilled for a month and it was so miserable! Towards the end of the month I was getting so weak from lack of nutrition that I would have a difficult time walking up a few flights of stairs. And all my hard work that month paid off with a 1.5 pound loss, which was completely errased when I went back to 1000-1200 calories and gained 10 pounds in a week. (yeah, I'm really that messed up.)

Being overfilled will not help you lose weight faster, even though we think it will, and should. But it's a tricky thing. You should be tight enough, but not too tight that you cannot have protien. And you must have protien. I try to eat veggie once or twice a week, and really enjoy the bocca brands, as well as eggs and dairy.

Being in chronic pain is so terrible. You really have my heart-felt sympathy Susan. I lost about 5 years to pain (((((susan))))). Do you know if you are a candidate for a tens unit?

I don't have any answers for you Susan, I have more questions, but that's what i'm good for, asking questions. But I tend to push for answers too, part of my strength I suppose. I am currently pushing for answers to my problem, and I'm pushing others to demand answers as well.

I know you are seeing a naturalpath, have you considered talking to an Endocrinologist to talk about your metabolism? Have you had your cortisol levels checked or your thryroid checked? Because you are ovbiously a special needs person, you will have to probably push harder for answers, since your weight can be pushed away.

I know what you mean about some of the other boards, especially when you are trying to find answers and all you get are reciminations. I have found this board overwhelming supportive, and I think you will find the same here.

[gentlespirit 1]

Susan, I'm so sorry that you find yourself in such a hard place. I wish there were something I could do to help other than send a big hug. Chronic pain pinches your soul, and I can't imagine how hard your days must be. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I, too, have had a spinal fusion (from T5 to L1) and was in pain for a couple of years but then slowly got better, for which I am truly thankful. So I can empathize a little. Please know that we are not here to lecture or judge you but to support you and love you and help if we can.

Emily

[l.a.susan 0]

i wanted to thank all of you who took the time to read my "book" and respond with such concern and empathy and above all respect. i get the feeling this group has people in it that value those things in communication.

i so appreciate you.

i cant really write until monday but i wanted you all to know how good the responses made me feel how safe and "heard" i felt.

i would like to respond to the chronic pain etc. issues but i dont want to take

my thread off topic so maybe i could write privately to some who very

kindly asked questions (but not related to lapbands ) i wouldnt like to take up time or space with issues no one else is interested in. but would love to engage those who are interested. im looking for answers and shared experiences with others who have had or currently have chronic pain and have had their lives shattered. its pretty heavy stuff.

love to y'all, susan

[the best me 6]

susan this is your thread, so post away! It doesn't have to be lapband related, it's your LIFE! and it's bigger than just your band. I can't relate to the pain you suffer, but I'm still interested. Please keep your pain issues above the board! Lots and lots of folks read and don't post. We all benefit from one another, no matter what our personal issues. I'm glad you are able to get what you need from this wonderful board. Your chronic pain struggles posted here are a great way to help others at the same time. (((hugs)))

[chichigirl 1]

Susan, I totally respect your feelings about not needing lectured about what you are eating or not eating or whatever. Believe me I think we are all intelligent adults that know what we should or shouldn't be eating.

That said, from the sounds of all of your physical problems and the type of medications you are on, it is sadly not surprising that you aren't losing any weight and that you are hungry most of the time.

I recently discovered, from my lap band surgeon, that there are actual studies that have been done, that show the chemical gherlin is shown to increase in levels immediately following lap band surgery. Gherlin is responsible for feelings of hunger, so no big surprise that many of us still experience this hunger and it's not all in our heads.

I personally experience hunger also on a regular basis, but I am also a diabetic on insulin, which makes you hungry, and I take several anti-depressants also known to increase appetite. Then the docs want to know why am I not losing? Duh?? Are they serious, sadly they usually are.

I wasn't able to tell from your post whether you can do any kind of movement at all with your serious back problems. Like can you move your arms at all or the lower portion of your legs. Sometimes just moving the parts your body will allow can be helpful in boosting your metabolism. They have even proven people who are fidgety tend to burn calories just from tapping their fingers or leg rocking, etc.

You have an awful lot of things pulling you in the direction of sustaining your current weight, and that's so unfair and unfortunate. Please recognize this though and don't beat yourself up and don't let anyone else beat you up for it either.

I have recently been using the Hoodia Patches and they really seem to work, at least a little. They certainly don't make things worse, so I keep using them.

My heart and prayers go out to you and I hope that you can at least find the support you need here on this board. What you are going through is awful and has to be taking an emotional toll on you as well.

Wish I had some concrete answers or solutions for you, but alas, I am only human and can only lend you my shoulder should you need to lean on it.

Please feel better, I'm glad to hear that you are going to come off the pain pump if it's not working for you. The less medication you have to take the better your system will work, but you already know that.

Take care and God Bless.

Cindy

[vinesqueen 2]

Susan, please don't worry about taking up time or space, that's what we are here for.

If you would feel more comfortable, you can always PM me

[l.a.susan 0]

i still have to respond to all the wonderful questions and positive support.

just to let you know at this particular time my pain pump has saline in it

and so its not doing anything. kaiser turned down the compound formula

i had put together with help from others with chronic pain and so im dilaudid

its short acting and makes me really stupid. of all the opiates ive taken (and i have taken all them several different times and was made sick) this is the first that has actually made me understand what its like to be a heroin addict. i sleep spontaneously and i have times of serious foggy drug like

times and amnesia its somewhat effective for my pain as long as im in bed.

anyhow, as a result of my 5 level fusion (l-2-t10, burst frct in my l-1)

i have developed degenerative disc disease in my lower spine. so i used to be able to recline with my 4.5 laptop on my chest now it causes me pain.

so yet another of my joys and ways of bein g social is limited to me.

it means that i cant always write back in a timely way or say the things i want to say. but, i fight it and try. i so value any attempts that people make to reach out to me. i have alwasy been the "entertainer" very gregarious from l.a. former dancer, singer, model and beach bunny.

extrememly social. and being shut in is a killer.

so thankyou thank you i hope i get to know all of you. meantime if anyone wants to write privately i welcome it. some sites have rules about posting your e-mail addy. but, how else do we give it to each other.

i suppose a website could develop a policy of being able to give permission

for release of addy through the mods. quite honestly other than a few nasty know it alls ive not had any really bad experiences on forums even though ive given very personal info. ive alwasy been told in every new social or business course my life has taken that i will become jaded and mistrusting of people with "alittle experience" in one area or another. but,

im 60 and i still trust. i think its a basic belief in people either you believe that people basically want to be good and kind or you dont. its never gotten me any business success or money to have that philosophy but

i still just believe that people want to be good and helpful and self sufficient and contributing.

okay so, thanks again. this is my limit . i really need to address each letter i think since i poop out and or get fuzzy or in pain so quickly.

love y'all, susan

[graceysnema 0]

susan you make my heart bleed. i to have major medical issues in my family. i am the care taker.giver.. maid... my daughter has grandmal seizures 5 to 10 a day all from taking a depro provera injection 2 weeks before she was married 4 years ago. she has a 2 year old. she her husband and baby live with us. also my husband of 24 years was diagnosed with hypertropic cardiomypolthy. he had a difulator. icd implated 1/12/06. that means no more working at job of 26 years. it seems that each person has a load now days. we believe we are living in the last days. and all look forward to a time of no more pain, sickness and death. prayers do work. lood at me i have not injured myself. which speaks volumns.

i'll be thinking of you

donna

[Hedwig 0]

susan, I just wanted to say my heart is with you. You have picked a great group of friends here. I hope that we can answer some of your questions and give you the support you need. that is what we are all here for. big hugs .

[kimalicious 5]

Have you tried exercising 30 minutes a day? Ok, that was a joke just to see if you were awake! Now to clarify are you talking head hunger or actual stomach pain hunger? I can't tell between the two most times but I know there are real conditions out there for people who have uncontrollable stomach hunger. Have you looked into that? How I wish that Phen fen was still legal because I never got to it the first time around but know so many that had such great weight loss on it.

If you are too tight to eat some foods then you aren't getting enough food and that could be why you're hungry. If you feel like you are getting enough food but not enough soy protien or other types of protien then you will never stay full. I know you know about food and that Protien is the key to satiety so maybe you should talk to your doc about new appetite suppresants on the market. I have heard different things about Meridia and other herbal products. Maybe an aid will help you with your hunger. I too feel your pain since I am addicted to food! My band so far has just turned me into a snacker that eats between meals, which I didn't do pre-banding. I got my band at the same time as you and still have only lost half the weight I need to without an end in sight. The rest I will have to do on my own, which hasn't happened yet. Keep your head up and keep researching and get on that treadmill, HA!!!

Please tell me you took the exercise and treadmill thing as a joke! I would feel horrible if you didn't. You seemed to have a sense of humor in your post that made me feel like I could joke like that in my response! Please no hard feelings now that I have already sent this!

[chichigirl 1]

The most important thing for you to do is to take care of yourself right now. I'm so glad that so many have reached out to you and so glad that you gave all of us another chance to help. Please know you are truly in my thoughts and prayers. My Mom and one of my brothers have both been through mulitple back surgeries and they have both had spinal fusions, so I truly understand the pain and agony you have to endure.

Cindy