Support Of Loved Ones/death

[marimari0926 4]

I lost the love of my life a few days ago. He was the first man that I believe truly loved me and treated me like a princess. When it came to wls, he didn't want me to do it, whatever his reasons might of been. He said he didn't care about how I looked; he loved me regardless. I did it anyway, because it was something I wanted to do for myself. Once he realized that, he respected that and became supportive. Yet, I felt reassured that as I get smaller I had someone that is truly commited, not just someone into me because of how I look. I felt proud to be getting "sexy" for my baby. All in all, it hurts. But I would say, if you have someone by your side during your transformation, hug them tight.

I am current down about 55#s since late March. Anytime I felt discouraged that I wasn't losing enough, he'd be there to listen and encourage me, telling me not to beat myself up. I owe so much to him; I hope he knows how much he meant to me.

[♕ajtexas♕ 3,771]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know he is still supporting you on your weight loss journey. He is right there beside you, holding your hand and when you think you can't do it anymore, he'll pick you up and carry you. God bless you, you are in my prayers.

[Kime-lou 648]

Goodness, My prayers are with you. I am blessed to have a man like that and I don't know what I would do without him. I wish I could say something to take away the pain, but I can't. I hope you will have continued success in your WL journey and you will always remember the love you shared.

[dee257 1,516]

So very sorry for you...keep your faith during this time....and rememner if God brings you to it He will bring you through it....love and God Bless you...

Dee...

[Sojourner 2,446]

I lost the love of my life a few days ago. He was the first man that I believe truly loved me and treated me like a princess. When it came to wls, he didn't want me to do it, whatever his reasons might of been. He said he didn't care about how I looked; he loved me regardless. I did it anyway, because it was something I wanted to do for myself. Once he realized that, he respected that and became supportive. Yet, I felt reassured that as I get smaller I had someone that is truly commited, not just someone into me because of how I look. I felt proud to be getting "sexy" for my baby. All in all, it hurts. But I would say, if you have someone by your side during your transformation, hug them tight.

I am current down about 55#s since late March. Anytime I felt discouraged that I wasn't losing enough, he'd be there to listen and encourage me, telling me not to beat myself up. I owe so much to him; I hope he knows how much he meant to me.

I'm sincerely sorry to read of the loss of one so dear to you...I can understand the void in your life this creates, and the many adjustments which you are facing.

I encourage people to keep the memories of the good times you shared close in your heart. We never totally loose the ones we love; they stay with us forever in our heart; he will continue to be there to encourage you.

[TKW 501]

He'll be there.... every step of the way. May beautiful Memories and Gods Grace help you through these very very difficult times. I am so sorry for your loss.

Teresa

[marfar7 1,533]

((HUGS))

First of all - I know exactly what you're going thru. 5 yrs ago, I also lost the love of my life the day before our 19th wedding anniversary.I was 40 yrs old. No kids. I was in a funk for a long, long time. I thought I'd never again be happy. In the 5 mths after he died, I lost 30 lbs (bringing me down to about 170). Then, as surely as I lost it, I started gaining (that's what depression does to you). 2 yrs after he had died, I had packed on a whopping 80 lbs (bringing me to 248). I don't think I'd ever weighed above 200 my whole life! I bought all new clothes, I ate all day long and I slept alot. Friends kept supporting me, but I wouldn't listen. I just wanted to curl up and died.

2 yrs after he died, I decided to start over again. I moved from VA to OR (never been to OR till I went 2 weeks before moving to look for a house - I just chose it off a map!). The movers packed up a truck, my mom flew out from CA and we packed up my Jeep with my dog and 2 cats, and started our way across the country, 3,000 miles to restart my life. A couple of months later, I was on the operating table getting my band. That was my first step in starting over. My brother in law drove 6 hrs to stay with me for a week (remember, I didn't know a soul in OR). Slowly, I started climbing out of my shell. I began going back to church every Sunday and started attending a widows support group once a week. They were truly a lifesaver. After a yr with my band (3 yrs after my husband died) and I was down about 75 lbs, I began dating again. Put myself on about 3 different dating sites. Had many 1st dates of coffee, not too many 2nd dates. After about 4 mths, I got into a relationship for about 2 mths. Then he dumped me. Get this: Because I was getting too skinny! He was a "chubby chaser". About 2 weeks later, as I was nursing my broken heart, I accepted a coffee date at 2 am at a local coffee shop. Sparks flew. That was 2 yrs ago and we've now been married almost a year. I'm so unbelievably happy now. I still remember Kevin (my first husband) and talk of him fondly. I still have a couple of pictures of him on my bookshelf. I still miss him alot. I wonder what he would have thought of me losing 100 lbs! He'd be so proud!

I used to hate it in the beginning when numerous people would tell me that I'd be happy again someday, that I'd "get over it". I'm here to assure you hat you will never "get over it". You will miss him forever. But, you WILL be happy again someday. I promise you that. God's not going to allow you to be sad forever. I recommend that you look into a widows support group in your area. I wish I had found them when I was in my first stages of grief. It's so wonderful to have friends that are going through the same exact thing.

Please let me know if you need anything. Again, I'm so very sorry. I know you're sad, angry, hurt, confused,and unsure of your future. Don't let it sidetrack you from your weight loss goals tho. You don't want to wake up in 2 yrs 80 lbs heavier like I did! Hang in there. And take support from anywhere you can get it. Email me if you need anything else. Don't forget - he would want the best for you. So whatever you do, after your done curling up in a ball wishing you were dead right alongside him (and everyone does), get back up and proceed forward with your life! You're worth it!

(((MORE HUGS)))

Marci

[marimari0926 4]

I really thank you guys for the support. It is very heartfelt, especially coming from strangers. Thank you Marfar7 for sharing your story with me. It makes me feel like I must be able to keep going with my life and that I will find a love not necessarily the same, but great like the one I lost. Thank you. (I will also try to look into a support group once things slow down for me a bit.)

[Danielle P.C. 4]

So very sorry for your loss. Sending you prayers of strength through this very difficult time. I truly believe that those we love remain with us. I know that someone who, obviously, loved you so dearly will be with you as long as you need him. God bless you...