Venting

[donna12 742]

Just need to vent. First off let me begin by saying I'm newly divorced and forced to live with my 73 yr old mother due to finances. Has been a struggle and an adjustment after being married for 25 years. The divorce was a shock, didn't want it, he did. Guess he got tired of me being fat. No I didn't have the surgery because of him, I finally had had enough of feeling sick and tired all of the time and knew I had to do something about my health and took matters into my own hands and decided May of this year to have surgery. Going back to living with my mom. Today has tested my nerves. Although she has been my biggest fan and hugest cheerleader in all of this, today and last night I can't do anything right. I'm either eating too much or too often. She makes comments like "I'm afraid you won't succeed if you keep doing this". With that being said, I'm struggling today with my diet. Don't know if I'm wanting to eat out of depression and old ways or what but seems like I can't get satisfied. I had Breakfast and 2 1/2 hrs later I want to snack and did, I had 4 crackers with low fat laughing cow cheese spread.

I see my surgeon this coming week to talk about a fill or not to fill. Last month on the 13th I went in for an unfill, .25cc's he took out because I kept getting things stuck and throwing up. Looking back on all of it and reading from all of you and Jean's book I probably took too big of bites, I didn't take the tiny bite of the size of your little finger (nail) and didn't chew it well either. I'm still learning my band I admit that. My surgery was June 13th of this year. I will discuss with him when I go Thurs. about maybe getting some put back in and taking things more slowly, eating more wisely with bite size and chewing to infinity. All of you on here have given me suggestions, support and words of encouragement beyond words of gratitude when I post things. My latest struggle is with my hair, I'm about to die. It looks awful. Too short cause my stylist had to cut it off because it was damaged on the ends and still looks damaged, it's dry and brittle. I'm the world's worst about taking meds and remembering to take them, please don't preach, I know I'm wrong. I need to improve on that aspect in my life too, to remember to take my Vitamins, Biotin etc. My other vent is about how I feel all of the time, sleepy, tired and run down. I don't work so there is no excuse not to go to the gym but I do not feel up to it, litterally. My pulse runs low and my blood pressure is always low. I just had blood work done last month and the only thing I was deficient in was Vitamin D, everything else checked out ok. Now I guess I need to get my butt in gear and call this doctor, my regular doctor and tell him I'm always tired and could something else be wrong, i.e. heart. (my dad died of heart disease). My blood pressure always runs 100 over 60 or 90 over 57 in that area and my pulse is always 50's to 60's. Any of you out there in the medical field want to chime in go ahead. Just feeling really cruddy today. Don't mean to sound negative, I'm not really, just struggling with food today and my mom, and tired of feeling sick and tired.

Thanks for listening. Usually I'm ok but not today.

Donna

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

ok, your having a woe is me day

you are entitled to we all have them

i wont preach or nag or say what you already know (food, Vitamin wise)

allow yourself a day off from (lap band)

take the rest of today and tomorrow off if you need and just relax

take a hot bath, grab a good book, light some candles (glass of wine perhaps)

i know right now you dont think things wont get better, but it will

your hair will grow back this forum loves you......including me

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I firmly believe that sometimes we truly need to allow ourselves a pity party to process our emotions, deal with them, and move beyond them. You've been through a lot between the divorce and having to live with your mom. I think any sane person would be going a little batty by now in your shoes. And let's be honest, it doesn't matter how wonderful your mother is, two grown women who are used to running their own households just can't always cohabitate easily. I give you both a lot of credit and respect for trying to make it work. So, have your down day and know it's ok to feel like you do. You're human and you're entitled.

As for the medical issues, please don't overlook them. I fully admit I tend to run on the slightly paranoid end of the spectrum due to to my own life experiences (I have MS and it took me years to be diagnosed because everyone kept missing the warning signs) but do be sure to follow up with your doctor.

Hang in there, Donna. You're obviously a very strong lady and you'll make it through this too.

((hugs))

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

Donna,

I hope things improve very soon. I can only imagine how challenging things are given the circumstances.

I am certainly no therapist but your note leads me to wonder if you may be struggling with some depression issues as you cannot get motivated to do things and sound down in many aspects.

I agree with CG and Mis73 that allowing yourself a woe is me day or pity party is ok. I would just take note if you are still feeling this way over more than a couple days, you may need to address this with your doctor or a therapist.

Best wishes to you!

[donna12 742]

thanks ladies, again, your words of encouragement and calming words are more than a thank you. I think I'm just having a funky day, like you all said, a pity party because I'm usually pretty upbeat. Just came in from outside playing with my Dachshund so got a little activity, feel a little better. It is a beautiful day here in Kentucky so I should feel blessed not having a pity party huh? I know my body had endured a lot over the last 4 months and the changes in my eating habits have changed drastically but today I have struggled with wanting to make good choices and feeling satisfied. Please do not think I'm bashing my mom, I am so blessed to still have her alive and well and be my cheerleader during all of this, she supports me in all my decisions. Yes it is hard for 2 grown women who were used to living alone (me during my separation and divorce) to now living together but we do actually get along very well it's just last night and today I felt like she was fussing or harping on me. Just needed to get it off my chest I guess. Thank you ladies so much.

Donna

[pattiwagon30 14]

Being deficient on vit D will make you feel the way you do. I suggest taking a supplement.

[TKW 501]

Donna - We all have been there (feeling lousy about things and ourselves) and we understand. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. YOU ARE SO WORTH IT!

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Donna, You do have a lot on your plate. I know what you're saying about mom. My mom is 85 and just like you, we get along really well & I love her very much, but sometimes when things are tough they can get on your last nerve.lol I'm sure I do that with my grown daughters. When they have a problem, mothers tend to want to fix it, instead of just listen.

I'm sure your divorce has been very depressing to you also. Throw in eating changes. I'd want to run to the hills screaming!!

You are worth all the good things life has to offer. Be good to yourself!

((((((((((((((((((Donna))))))))))))))))

We're here for you.

[donna12 742]

you guys are going to make me cry! You lift my spirits!!! I'm feeling better already, thank you all so very much. Yes the divorce did take it's toll on me and all I can do it move on like he has. I unfortunately live in a city of about 45,000 people and it's not hard for me to run into him and his new woman so that in itself is very hard on me emotionally. And when I go out to eat I usually know the staff and I hear "Oh your ex was in here in last night with the "witch" again"...move on move on move right? One good thing out of the divorce was that it was friendly and we remain friends and I still speak to my ex mother-in-law and miss her deeply. Right now I'm trying to focus on ME and getting healthy and staying that way for the rest of my life. Thanks for letting me vent today.

[Randella 11]

Hey Donna I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling but remember we all are struggling with issues I guess that's why we turned to food and yes it's going to be a life long fight but I think it will get easier every week. I live alone so it's probably easier because there's not much in my house to eat nothing tempting. I think we all want to lose weight mush faster than we are but I'm trying not to focus on weight loss and just follow my doctors orders and so far I feel good. I know with all your situations dieting cannot be easy but remember we are all here for you.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

I cannot add much more as so many folks in here said it well... But just think about this... When you are thin and healthy... Think about how good it will feel to run into your ex..... He will be so sorry he left you. and you will feel so good about yourself you will wonder why it didn't happen sooner.

All the best to you!

[donna12 742]

I cannot add much more as so many folks in here said it well... But just think about this... When you are thin and healthy... Think about how good it will feel to run into your ex..... He will be so sorry he left you. and you will feel so good about yourself you will wonder why it didn't happen sooner.

All the best to you!

Now this was priceless and brought the biggest smile on my face, thank you!!! I needed that.