Divorce After Losing Weight!

[danielle b 32]

I have been banded since June 2010. I went from 290 lbs to 150 lbs today. I had plastic surgery June 2012....which included inner thigh lift, lower body lift, and Lipo. My self esteem and confidence is extremely high. I feel and look great. Only thing is....my husband never complimented me throughout my journey! I have been with him for 15 years....married for 10! He has put me through a lot of bad stuff in the past....things that I cannot forget/forgive! Now that my confidence is built up.....I want a divorce. I told him I was not happy back in Feb. 2012....Things did not get any better since then. We fight all the time, haven't had sex in 10 mths, he always sleeps on the couch, etc, etc. Anyways, last month I told him I wanted to be alone and that he needed to move out. He did, on Sept 18. I have been so much more happier....the house is quiet and peaceful! Now that my wls journey is over.....I am now on a journey to try and find the new ME!! I need to find what makes ME happy!! Am i being selfish?? Anyone else get divorced/separated after losing their weight? I have some guilt for doing it....I could really use some reassurance!

[♕ajtexas♕ 3,771]

Life is too short not to be happy. No you are not being selfish. I got divorced after 12 years of marriage. We were so unhappy with each other I hated coming home to him. What went wrong? I don’t know but what I do know is we couldn’t be together anymore. Now, five years later we are friends, both remarried and happy.

So, my advice is for you to do what will make you happy. You lost weight for your health now take care of your feelings and emotional needs. Take care and good luck.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

What you're doing isn't selfish at all. In fact, it's incredibly smart and brave. It sounds like your marriage was spiraling the drain before you ever had WLS. All the weight loss did was give you the self esteem and confidence to do the right thing and start taking care of yourself. Please, don't ever feel guilty for loving yourself and wanting to be happy. You deserve that!

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

I think how you are feeling since he has left speaks to whether you were being selfish or not. You have felt happier and a sense of relief. Certainly, if the marriage was repairable I would suggest getting counseling; however, it sounds like he wasn't interested in trying to repair it.

Congrats to you for staying strong. People can grow apart and life is too short to spend it unhappy or even worse, miseable.I was married years ago and it was very toxic after time went on. It was scary being on my own initially but such a sense of relief to not be weighed down.

An unhealthy relationship can be very draining and wear on your soul. It is better to be alone than continue living that way.

Best wishes to you!

[ElleG 394]

You have one life to live and if his season in your life was up, so be it. You deserve more happiness than your heart can handle! GO GET IT!!!!!! Best Wishes and Have Fun

[steph1967 13]

What an inspiration. I to want a divorice.I lost 230 lbs and would love to have plastic surgery.I look great dressed.but not so much without clothes.we haven't had sex in 2 years but fear no one else would be attracted to all the loose skin so I stay but not happy.congrats and I don't feel you are selfish at all.

[elcee 3,341]

I think you need to do what is right for you. The fact that you have the confidence to go forward and make all these positive changes is great.

[prettysmart1913 48]

Steph1967...if you aren't intimate with him and unhappy...why not be happy without him and at least put yourself in a place to be single and prove yourself wrong about no one else wanting the loose skin. Find someone who makes your feel good emotionally and once you trust them tell them that you lost all that weight to get the loose skin. They will probably admire you and love you as you are...if they are worth having you they will

[omijujumari 5]

I have been banded since June 2010. I went from 290 lbs to 150 lbs today. I had plastic surgery June 2012....which included inner thigh lift' date=' lower body lift, and Lipo. My self esteem and confidence is extremely high. I feel and look great. Only thing is....my husband never complimented me throughout my journey! I have been with him for 15 years....married for 10! He has put me through a lot of bad stuff in the past....things that I cannot forget/forgive! Now that my confidence is built up.....I want a divorce. I told him I was not happy back in Feb. 2012....Things did not get any better since then. We fight all the time, haven't had sex in 10 mths, he always sleeps on the couch, etc, etc. Anyways, last month I told him I wanted to be alone and that he needed to move out. He did, on Sept 18. I have been so much more happier....the house is quiet and peaceful! Now that my wls journey is over.....I am now on a journey to try and find the new ME!! I need to find what makes ME happy!! Am i being selfish?? Anyone else get divorced/separated after losing their weight? I have some guilt for doing it....I could really use some reassurance![/quote']

Hi, I love my husband but he has been really mean to me ever since I gained weight 7 years ago now that im losing weight since having my lapband I feel that I dont know if I want to stay, if you are not happy with live for you

[danielle b 32]

What an inspiration. I to want a divorice.I lost 230 lbs and would love to have plastic surgery.I look great dressed.but not so much without clothes.we haven't had sex in 2 years but fear no one else would be attracted to all the loose skin so I stay but not happy.congrats and I don't feel you are selfish at all.

Omg....we use to have sex maybe twice a year....When I noticed all the wrinkly skin, I made a comment to my husband that he would never have to worry about me ever sleeping with anyone else...lol and then I got plastics done....and now, I am not sure I want anyone to see my scars I saw the way my husband looked at my body....and when I told him the look on his face, looked like he was disgusted....he did not deny it! that is when I knew we were done!! And for me....sex is not that important!! I would rather be alone then to be unhappy!! Oh....by the way....I had plastics done in mexico....much cheaper!

[danielle b 32]

Thanks for all the advice. I was starting to feel a little guilty today. He went to my daughters work to talk to her, and he started crying. So a part of me was feeling bad....but I know, if he moved back, the problems would still exist!! I am trying to do what is best for me.......

[Miss_A 11]

You're exactly right. If he were to move back in the problems would still be there. Sometimes people grow apart. It happens. And I'm sure it's a difficult adjustment, but if you're happier, then you've made the right decision. Good luck to you on your weight loss maintanence journey.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

My dr cautioned me on my first visit that more patients then he could count who had a significant weight loss ended up divorced. Of course he doesn't know if it's because the spouse preferred chubbys and lost interest or if the person who lost the weight found the confidence to realize he or she didnt need to stay in an unhappy relationship which I happen to believe. Either way I went home and had a long discussion with my husband and told him I was going to do this for me and he could reap the benefits... Or not. He is still here. Lol. However I will tell you that we have noticed changes in our relationship and have had to make adjustments. So far so good.

But for you it sound like you gave it a lot of thought and while I never want to see a marriage end it sounds like it was for the right reasons.

Good luck to you.