Skeptical And Scared

[epicelocin 3]

Hey everyone, my name is Nicole, I am 24 and with my weight being at 315, I was told by my doctor and my mother to get this procedure. I am not ashamed of my body weight, but I do want to do something about it. I get mixed opinions and personal experiences and I understand they are not typical for everyone who does get this. My problem is, I don't know if I want to do this, I've sworn off gastric surgery because it has had a bad affect on some people In my family. But I don't know where to turn. I am scared that if I were to do this I will become a individual I myself would despise and if I don't I could end up in a grave or ridiculed my whole life. I'm hoping you lovely people will help shed some light on this issue. I want to get it but then again, I don't. I always thought I am too mentally unstable (depression, anxiety, ADD) to really take this risk.

I didn't know where to turn, and with doctors telling me "Relax, you'll be fine" I can't help but think I need extra support.

Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a fantastic day!

-Nicole

[Kinley7390 80]

Nicole, what did you mean by if you had the surgery, you are scared you would become an individual you yourself would despise? This surgery requires a lot of dedication and commitment in order to be successful for weight loss. It is not an easy fix, however, it is possible to lose weight and regain your health as noted by the many, many people whose lives have changed for the better post lap band. Reservations and anxiety are normal, but once you understand how it works, what to expect, and what is required in order to live a successful lap band lifestyle, some of that anxiety should dissipate. I suggest posting questions as you've already started to do, reading forums and gathering info from your doctor in order to make an informed decision. Good luck!

[Toddy 758]

Almost every case of WLS I've read about, there is a psych evaluation required. Be honest with your psychiatrist, and they will evaluate whether you are mentally a good candidate for WLS. Good luck!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Hi Nicole and welcome!

Honestly, I think a doctor saying "relax you'll be fine!" is irrelevant when you have your own doubts. Ultimately the decision must be yours and yours alone, regardless of what your mom and doctor want you to do. It's not their stomach that would be banded and it's not their lives that will changed forever, it's yours.

If you feel you're too mentally unstable for Lap Band, then listen to your gut and don't do it. If anything, see a counselor before you make your decision and let them help you make a decision that is best for you.

Ultimately the decision is yours and it has to be one you're happy and comfortable with.

Best wishes to you.

[epicelocin 3]

Nicole' date=' what did you mean by if you had the surgery, you are scared you would become an individual you yourself would despise? [/quote']

I apologize, I meant restrictions on myself. Limiting what I can and can not do. I dont want to change mentally. I just want to be healthier. I am awaiting my information packet I requested for LB and thoroughly going through options.

[epicelocin 3]

Almost every case of WLS I've read about' date=' there is a psych evaluation required. Be honest with your psychiatrist, and they will evaluate whether you are mentally a good candidate for WLS. Good luck![/quote']

Thank you! I assure you I will always be honest with this procedure

[epicelocin 3]

Hi Nicole and welcome!

Honestly' date=' I think a doctor saying "relax you'll be fine!" is irrelevant when you have your own doubts. Ultimately the decision must be yours and yours alone, regardless of what your mom and doctor want you to do. It's not their stomach that would be banded and it's not their lives that will changed forever, it's yours.

If you feel you're too mentally unstable for Lap Band, then listen to your gut and don't do it. If anything, see a counselor before you make your decision and let them help you make a decision that is best for you.

Ultimately the decision is yours and it has to be one you're happy and comfortable with.

Best wishes to you.[/quote']

I want to do this, I am very skeptical though. I was on numerous diets before considering this option. Slimfast to Jenny Craig. I was always dedicated but I got very discouraged when I never got results. I know its my time to finally step up and do something more. And I know joining this community will help me through my journey. Thank you for your response!

[ballajones 61]

I started the WLS process March 2010 but chicken out because I wasn't mentally ready. I told myself I would give myself one last chance to do it on my own.

After a year my weight fluctuated up a few lbs and down a few. I was constantly at the dr getting tests done because the medications I was taking for high blood pressure and cholesterol were affecting my liver.

I decided I needed help. I had lap band surgery this past February and I'm glad I did. After a month I was off all my meds and I feel like a whole new person. I feared my personality would change but it didn't. I'm the same old me in a smaller healthier body.

Best of luck to you. This forum is helpful in many ways

[epicelocin 3]

That is very inspiring! I am also on meds for both conditions and would love to get healthier to get off them. You guys have been a great support structure thank you all so much

[awoodrum 9]

I had very similar anxieties that you describe about the surgery and the process. I think I can relate because we are close in age, I was 23 when I started the process, 24 when I had the actual surgery done, and am now 25. I also felt a lot of pressure from my family to do this as well. I went into this telling myself that I was doing it to appease them, and that I was happy.

The reality is, you may just discover that you are terrified of taking this step because you don't know anything else but being overweight. Being the fat kid formed my outgoing and funny personality, because I knew at an early age that is how I would make friends. And being the fat kid made me excel academically, because I sure as hell wasn't going to be good at sports. I truly convinced myself that I was completely happy with the person I was, and I didn't even realize until I saw how great being healthy and thinner made me feel. And being healthy and thinner hasn't changed that I'm 'the class clown' or intelligent, it has added to that.

I started this journey as I was applying for summer internships. I went my old stand-by Lane Bryant for interview clothes. Of course, it was the only place I could find clothes, when I forced myself to buy them. I remember crying in the changing room because of my frustration to find clothes, and having to look in the mirror at myself. I decided then I was going to really dedicate myself to working with, instead of against my lap-band. Nearly 8 months later, when I needed interview clothes again, I cried in the changing room at the relief of not being disgusted in the mirror and actually feeling good about myself.

You shouldn't do something you don't want to do, but I think you should really think about WHY you don't want to.

Good Luck

[Kinley7390 80]

I had very similar anxieties that you describe about the surgery and the process. I think I can relate because we are close in age, I was 23 when I started the process, 24 when I had the actual surgery done, and am now 25. I also felt a lot of pressure from my family to do this as well. I went into this telling myself that I was doing it to appease them, and that I was happy.

The reality is, you may just discover that you are terrified of taking this step because you don't know anything else but being overweight. Being the fat kid formed my outgoing and funny personality, because I knew at an early age that is how I would make friends. And being the fat kid made me excel academically, because I sure as hell wasn't going to be good at sports. I truly convinced myself that I was completely happy with the person I was, and I didn't even realize until I saw how great being healthy and thinner made me feel. And being healthy and thinner hasn't changed that I'm 'the class clown' or intelligent, it has added to that.

I started this journey as I was applying for summer internships. I went my old stand-by Lane Bryant for interview clothes. Of course, it was the only place I could find clothes, when I forced myself to buy them. I remember crying in the changing room because of my frustration to find clothes, and having to look in the mirror at myself. I decided then I was going to really dedicate myself to working with, instead of against my lap-band. Nearly 8 months later, when I needed interview clothes again, I cried in the changing room at the relief of not being disgusted in the mirror and actually feeling good about myself.

You shouldn't do something you don't want to do, but I think you should really think about WHY you don't want to.

Good Luck

Wow. That was amazing to read. Congratulations on your success.

[epicelocin 3]

I had very similar anxieties that you describe about the surgery and the process. I think I can relate because we are close in age' date=' I was 23 when I started the process, 24 when I had the actual surgery done, and am now 25. I also felt a lot of pressure from my family to do this as well. I went into this telling myself that I was doing it to appease them, and that I was happy.

The reality is, you may just discover that you are terrified of taking this step because you don't know anything else but being overweight. Being the fat kid formed my outgoing and funny personality, because I knew at an early age that is how I would make friends. And being the fat kid made me excel academically, because I sure as hell wasn't going to be good at sports. I truly convinced myself that I was completely happy with the person I was, and I didn't even realize until I saw how great being healthy and thinner made me feel. And being healthy and thinner hasn't changed that I'm 'the class clown' or intelligent, it has added to that.

I started this journey as I was applying for summer internships. I went my old stand-by Lane Bryant for interview clothes. Of course, it was the only place I could find clothes, when I forced myself to buy them. I remember crying in the changing room because of my frustration to find clothes, and having to look in the mirror at myself. I decided then I was going to really dedicate myself to working with, instead of against my lap-band. Nearly 8 months later, when I needed interview clothes again, I cried in the changing room at the relief of not being disgusted in the mirror and actually feeling good about myself.

You shouldn't do something you don't want to do, but I think you should really think about WHY you don't want to.

Good Luck[/quote']

That is indeed amazing and it had me tearing up because of similar experiences. I want to do this for myself. Not because my family is wanting me to, they always have supported me. But they're re-lighting the fire under my feet. My fear has withheld this process from happening. I put it off for a year. And I surely do get excited thinking how much healthier I can be. I am going to look through the information packet, contact a doctor and get this ball rolling. You are all so inspirational! Thank you so very much!

[ChicagoRose 650]

I agree with all of thee above that said if you aren't ready to wait and do it in your own time. It won't help you to just go through the motions because someone has told you to do it.

That being said, keep it as one of your very realistic options. No one says it has to happen in the next few months. I just finished my 6 month weigh-ins with a dietitian and it was a great time for me to continue to get informaion, talk to people who have had success and complications, go to seminars, etc. This is a very big decision.

Good luck and we are here for you!

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

Hey everyone, my name is Nicole, I am 24 and with my weight being at 315, I was told by my doctor and my mother to get this procedure. I am not ashamed of my body weight, but I do want to do something about it. I get mixed opinions and personal experiences and I understand they are not typical for everyone who does get this. My problem is, I don't know if I want to do this, I've sworn off gastric surgery because it has had a bad affect on some people In my family. What kind of bad effect? Medical problems? Emotional problems? But I don't know where to turn. I am scared that if I were to do this I will become a individual I myself would despise You're in charge of who you are and who you'll become if you lose that excess weight. Surgery won't make you react to weight loss the way your family members have unless you choose to act that way, orand if I don't I could end up in a grave or ridiculed my whole life. I'm hoping you lovely people will help shed some light on this issue. I want to get it but then again, I don't. I always thought I am too mentally unstable (depression, anxiety, ADD) to really take this risk. Do you have a shrink as part of your support system? What does he/she think about this idea? If you're taking meds for those conditions, are they not helping to stabilize you? If not, maybe you need to work on that before you embark on a WLS journey.

I didn't know where to turn, and with doctors telling me "Relax, you'll be fine" Oh yeah, easy for them to say! I can't help but think I need extra support.

Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a fantastic day!

-Nicole

Bottom line: don't have WLS until you're ready to have WLS. Succeeding with any kind of bariatric surgery is going to require you to change your behavior, like it or not. If you're not ready to do that, I think WLS would be a mistake for you. Unless you have some co-morbidities (obesity-related medical conditions) that need to be resolved quickly, there's no need to rush into this.