Out-Ed By Friends Husband :(

[farmgirl04 231]

I need a little vent time. I haven't told many people I was banded (8/13/12), but I did tell my closest friend. I explained to her that I wasn't telling people and to please keep it to herself. Well, last night, at a very crowded event (a large fair) her husband offered to buy me some dinner/fair food (very bad- all fried) I refused but thanked him. He turned to the people we were with and said "She wasn't satisfied losing weight the natural way, she had to go have surgery" I was shocked that he would make that comment for so many reasons. I'll talk to him today when I get a chance, but it was such an eye opener about how people view what we have done. I was also glad that I was basically with strangers that I only see once a year.

[Nitecap0046 32]

Omg, how horrible. I too choose not to tell anyone beside my husband, best friend and one lady at work who had it done. So far I believe no one has said a word. But I get no support or encouraging remarks from my coworkers, they all say I am losing too fast and I feel they suspect something. My mother was in company with one secretary and said to her isn't it great how well she was doing and my secretary blew it off and turned the conversation to herself. My mother said they are very non supportive. People are just so jealous. Don't let it get you down but I would confront her and Him to why they would do that to you. They are small minded people who need to do things like that to make themselves feel better. Keep your head up high and Rick the world with your new body. Good luck

[breakinfree 7]

I have told close co-workers and of course my family, all have been very supportive. I was banded Sept 11th, 2012 and just prior to this went on a girl's night outing. Apparently my best friend told the others what I was having done after I left. She told me yesterday that one had made a comment about my lack of willpower and anyone can lose weight. At first I was angry but then realized that I don't care if people don't understand, they mock you if you are fat, they mock you if you are trying to lose weight. In the end, I know I have done the right thing and have a tool that will help me reach my healthy weight.

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

I can only imagine how hurtful that was as you had told a trusted friend. Sorry you had to experience that. That was very insensitive and rude how he behaved. I am glad you will be having a conversation with him today. I hope that goes well.

[PattyGirl66 1,243]

No matter who we tell, even if its just 'one' person..... you can guarantee that ONE person will blab his/her mouth!

I too only chose to tell a selective few, but believe me I am not a nieve person and know the ones I told, told their friend, family, and soooo on. I don't care, I am not ashamed. I just didnt want to announce it to the world I know. If asked, I tell them the truth. So far, the people who I have shared this with, even neighbors on my block, have all been supported. If they talk about it behind my back, so be it!

My sole purpose having this done was to live and not die. If people don't like hearing that. O WELL, that don't walk in my shoes...

[Kinley7390 80]

I am with A New Dawn (above)... That was so insensitive and flat out rude! It wasn't just that he "outed" you, although that in itself was a betrayal, it was the manner with which he did it that appalls me! It was very condescending and you have every right to be upset and disappointed. I would not trust your friend in the future with such personal information given that most people share things (often even those told in confidence) with their spouse and hers just happens to have poor manners. I am so sorry you had to endure that.

After you've talked with him and expressed your hurt and disappointment, I would really work hard to move on and not let this bring you down. We can't control the ignorance or poor behavior of others, but we can control how we cope. You should feel so proud of the efforts you are making to improve your health. You know the TRUTH about how difficult it is to live the lap band lifestyle in terms of the level of commitment and dedication that is required. Your friend's husband made a comment out of ignorance because he clearly has no accurate information about what is involved with this decision.

Today is a new day. We all understand where you are coming from, and wish you better days ahead. Hang in there, and be proud!

[Heathermarie0407 67]

Ugh that is terrible! I am so sorry that you have to be around such a jerk. The sad fact is that people who havnt struggled with their weight just don't get it.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Holy cow that is TERRIBLE!! I'd have been extremely upset. If I were you, I'd definitely confront him and it wouldn't be done very nicely. That is just totally inexcusable. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

[farmgirl04 231]

Oh, I know him well enough to call him friend. He is in for a talking to today- I actually knew my friend would tell him, that wasn't the surprize, it was his attitude that shocked me. But all is well, I had to run to Kohls this morning for a couple of new polos- we show livestock and nice clean, spiffy shirts are expected. So anyway, my jeans were hanging off, I've lost 30 so far, so I grabbed a size 20, too big; size 18- too big, size 16! They were on sale so it didn't bother me buying temporary clothes- and it felt great! All the better to confront him in (I mean that in a nice way).

[Kinley7390 80]

Oh, I know him well enough to call him friend. He is in for a talking to today- I actually knew my friend would tell him, that wasn't the surprize, it was his attitude that shocked me. But all is well, I had to run to Kohls this morning for a couple of new polos- we show livestock and nice clean, spiffy shirts are expected. So anyway, my jeans were hanging off, I've lost 30 so far, so I grabbed a size 20, too big; size 18- too big, size 16! They were on sale so it didn't bother me buying temporary clothes- and it felt great! All the better to confront him in (I mean that in a nice way).

You sound great. Happy to hear that you had an enjoyable shopping experience. Congrats on the weight loss!!!

[mimi81082 27]

It's comments like these that prevented me from making my surgery public. However, when I came back to work, eveyone knew anyone. Gossip is a beast and people can be so cold and judgemental about things they don't understand! However, your attitude and approach to the situation is awesome and obviously you made the right decisionregarding surgery...you're in a size 16! Great job!

[LiveStrong41 51]

Appalling... but your attitude is fantastic! You are already a true success story.

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Oh' date=' I know him well enough to call him friend. He is in for a talking to today- I actually knew my friend would tell him, that wasn't the surprize, it was his attitude that shocked me. But all is well, I had to run to Kohls this morning for a couple of new polos- we show livestock and nice clean, spiffy shirts are expected. So anyway, my jeans were hanging off, I've lost 30 so far, so I grabbed a size 20, too big; size 18- too big, size 16! They were on sale so it didn't bother me buying temporary clothes- and it felt great! All the better to confront him in (I mean that in a nice way).[/quote']

First of all, yes I always expect a friend to tell their spouse. That's a given.

"Oh,I know him well enough to call him friend", no real friend would have done that and that's what I'd tell him. Even if that's what he believed, a friend would have kept it to themselves. Rip him a knew one!!! He hurt you!!

Congratulations on your WL & your NSV!

You go girl! !!

[Thamm 46]

You know I told only people I care about because people tend to think we took the "easy way" out but after 5 months I can say this is one of the hardest things I've done!! I work my ass literally.. I workout 6 days a week and stay under 1200 calories!! Zumba, kickboxing, and walking 2 miles a day!! People think since we have the surgery the weight falls off 5lbs daily... I wish!!! So now I keep it private! I have learned... Opinions are like buttholes.. Everyone has one!!!

[fostermomma 39]

Some men are just stupid....It always surprises me when men feel they are allowed to say ANYTHING about a woman's weight. I have an eleven year old boy in my house who is always making comments to my other girls about their weight. I am trying to nip it in the bud before it becomes a full on habit.

Sorry he hurt your feelings....did your friend hear him say that?