Ashamed To Meet Husband Co-Workers

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

Years ago, my husband shared a "playful threat" with me...that "If I ever weighed more than he did, than he would divorce me". I was 118 pounds at the time, with a wide margin of safety...

The years passed, time took it's toll on health and mobility. Stress generated from grad school, parents terminal illnesses, prescription medications, and having a son in the US Marines on active duty in a war zone also affected my emotional well being... scroll ahead to 2010 with serious health concerns for my husband and my near fatal car accident. My weight increased through the years, and surpassed my husband's at some point. I cannot recall when that was...and he stopped teasing me about the "divorce".

A couple of months ago I announced that I was finally the same weight as he was...he smiled at me...and said "the threat's back on!" We will be married for 40 years next June...for better or worse, in sickness and in health.

He's been so supportive of me and my efforts to loose weight...I think he's a keeper!

So CG...my reason for sharing this is that your husband does love you, and seems to have taken his marriage vows seriously.

Don't allow your negative thoughts and assigning your beliefs to others to affect your joy of life and living.

You share so much happiness and joy with others...the scale does not define the amazing and uplifting person you are!

Best wishes...

sojo

cant tell you how much that meant to me that you wrote that

def made me cry but in a good way

just having a really bad day with neg thoughts about myself

i saw myself in a picture and well..........you can guess the rest

[Maddysgram 6,159]

sojo

cant tell you how much that meant to me that you wrote that

def made me cry but in a good way

just having a really bad day with neg thoughts about myself

i saw myself in a picture and well..........you can guess the rest

Ok, I never want you to make fun of me again b/c Sojo made you "blubber" too.

But she is absolutely right about you! You are there for everyone with kind words (it's hit & miss with me) ,support and wisdom. We really wuv you!!!!!

[Marybell 22]

im the same way i want my husband to be proud of me and show me off. he is proud of me no matter im raising his children and keeping him satisifed in life. but i am not satisifed with myself. i hope to one day change those feeling s too

[Sojourner 2,446]

Ok, I never want you to make fun of me again b/c Sojo made you "blubber" too.

But she is absolutely right about you! You are there for everyone with kind words (it's hit & miss with me) ,support and wisdom. We really wuv you!!!!!

You know...I'm going to get a complex if people around here don't stop crying...

[tere1985 16]

I feel the same way when it comes to his friends and family! My husband also had an affair with some lady and because of that we split up a year I even moved to Chicago (with our 2 boys) from Houston! He had the guts to take her to his family reunions and holiday celebrations at work! He paraded her all around town. Well we decided to try again and now everything is so different in a good way. He transferred over here to Chicago with me but we visit Houston every 3 months or so. And he is always trying to take me out with his old co-workers, friends and family but I feel that they are comparing me to her! She is NOT good looking at all but she is way thinner (and older) than I am!! I just hope someday I can regain confidence in myself! I feel that with what my husband did my self esteem was crushed into pieces! That was one of the reasons I decided to get the surgery. All I can tell you is to keep your head up and use what has happened to us as motivation to get hot and sexy and someday feel great about ourselves.. And hopefully once I reach my goal weight I run into her. I would love to see the look on her face!!!

Good luck on your journey!!

Tere...

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

[Harrier's Woman 58]

Hi Beachgirl,

Your weight DOES NOT define who you are, not by a long shot. You are being SO hard on yourself to the point where you are paralyzed by your unfounded fear of rejection, and that is unfair to you and your husband.

You are SOOOO much more than just your weight !!!! and you need to realize that and give yourself the proper value.

When we meet people for the first time we usually focus on the physical aspect of the person because that's all we get the very first few seconds that we're introduced to them but after that there is SO much more, their personality, sense of humor, a sincere smile,the way they carry themselves and the more time you spend with them,the better they're going to know you and like you and see you for who you really are, they will see your real VALUE.

Life is too short to live afraid, we're all special in our own ways.

Go get'em !!!!

Spoken like a true gentlemen. Well said!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

You know...I'm going to get a complex if people around here don't stop crying...

sojo and maddys.......happy tears because i felt the love from you to me. and yesterday i sure needed it. you have no idea

blubber or not, me sends big kisses

[sparkplug 106]

Girls, girls, girls, it took me 40 years to get over this insecurity thing. I still on occasion get very nervous meeting someone new because people (especially men) look you over real good before continuing to talk. I am a born New Yorker and you all need to get some of my attitude. I am to goal losing 88 pounds which it took over a year since being banded. I have learned that the same "idiots" that let the door slam in my face 88 pounds ago, now hold it open for me. I have learned the "evil" eye from my mom who came from Italy so when if I ever gain the weight again, they will be getting that from me. I have been to goal for 4 years but yo yo'd my weight my whole life and in that time I have learned to love what I am regardless of my weight. We always want what we don't have, I wanted blue eyes and blonde hair and that was never to happen. As far as a husband cheating on me, I have been with my husband for 33 years and we have both been faithful, never a worry. But...my first husband cheated on me and when I found out after a year of married lilfe, I gave him the boot and said I would never allow a man to humiliate me again like that. The worst part was that most people around us knew and never told me. I was so angry and betrayed. So I am telling you girls, get rid of the dirt and humiliation brought on by these type of men and start fresh with someone you can trust. My motto has always been once a cheater-always a cheater and once a beater- always a beater. I could never trust anyone to do either once because twice is around the corner. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but this website is to reenforce YOU and your thoughts about yourself. You are all worth every ounce of your weight and to think that weight alone tells what you are, is TOTALLY wrong. You all sound wonderful and life has kicked you hard like me but get up and tell them all to take a flying leap! That's how a New Yorker does it! Now go out there and become beautiful women like you are on the inside!!!

[Disney Nut 60]

I absolutely feel this way! The women my husband works most closely with are in the marketing department - and all are thin and stylish!

[Disney Nut 60]

BTW, Sparkplug...this born New Yorker knows what you mean about attitude! Still, it's tough. I was on the subway a couple of days ago. I played that mental game of "Am I the heaviest women on this car?" It can be hard to be surrounded by skinny, sophisticated New Yorkers.

I can't wait for my surgery on Monday!

[jlzorn 0]

I completely understand. I was prior military myself, as my husband is still active duty. i hate going to his work for any type of function because i feel like they are going to judge the fact that i use to be smaller when i was in and now im a bigger girl. i dont want to embarass him or myself. i feel like im being judged all the time, every where i go. sometimes i think my husband is embaressed of me this way. he will make remarks that truly hurt me about my weight, and he thinks that it is really not much of anything. hopefully my surgery will help me get my confidence back, which i never really ever had. good luck.

[Summerrain 520]

Anybody feel ashamed to meet your spouses co-workers? Maybe it's just me' date=' but I would rather climb under a rock then meet any of them. I'm so ashamed that I allowed my weight to get so out of hand.[/quote']

I felt like that for so long and was even ashamed to go grocery shopping or even walk out in public. I've only lost 52 pounds to date but am starting to feel a bit better about myself.