Ashamed To Meet Husband Co-Workers

[Beachgirl11 18]

Anybody feel ashamed to meet your spouses co-workers? Maybe it's just me, but I would rather climb under a rock then meet any of them. I'm so ashamed that I allowed my weight to get so out of hand.

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

I can empathize with you and have felt this way before. However, I felt if he wasn't embarrassed, why should I be. Just think how impressed they will be the next time they see you and you have lost a lot of weight.

[lucie159 89]

awe sugar!!! I know how you feel about meeting people.. I feel that way about most everyone most of the time. But the truth of it is, your probably an incredible person and if all they can see is the weight, then screw them!!!

[Beachgirl11 18]

My husband had an affair about 6 years ago with a co- worker for about a year and a half and all the guys at the plant knew about, I always feel like they are comparing me to her. His thin mistress compared to over weight wife. Just ruins the rest of my evening.

[Sojourner 2,446]

To me it says something very positive that you and your husband are still together after all this time...

I've also felt ashamed to meet my husband's coworkers in the past...but many of them have also had issues with fighting their weight...and I would hope that they are not superficial people who would judge a book by it's proverbial cover.

If they do, they are not worth your time or energy to even think about...IMHO!

[Toddy 758]

Have you been banded yet? If so, you're on your way, so don't worry about it. If he's been with the plant at least six years, sounds like most of his co-workers already know you anyway. Now give them an opportunity to meet the new and improving you! I always say the best revenge is to improve yourself and let the world see your happiness!

[scorrea 95]

I have always felt the same. My husband is a very private person and has always kept me away from his workplace. We met there, so many know me by reputation anyway.. and my curly hair! But in this store I was worried, until I went in and saw his co workers teeth! OMG, they were horrible! and our insurance is thru work, no money paid into it, so free dental care! LOL, that helped me get by my issues and felt a bit better. Petty right?

Hopefully one day I can stand next to him and show off that I am not the weight that they all have known me to become!!

[Beachgirl11 18]

Toddy, yes I was banded in November 2011, but have not done well. I lost 42 lbs in about 3 months. Then I put it all back on plus some. I am now 11lbs down but 35 left to go to where I was.

My husband works 45 minutes away, and I have never been inside the plant. So I do not know very many people. You are right, I'm back on track and hopefully some day I will never feel this way again.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

yes i have felt that then and now, today

i work with some young gorgeous gals

they ask me to go to bathroom with them during the day, you know how us girls are

and i hate it as i know people are yucking at me and lusting for them

i feel that way walking down the hall to the bathroom at work (passing people in the building)

afraid to go to any stores because am afraid people will laugh at me

and afraid to meet anyone new as i feel they would judge the outside and not the inside person

yes, i feel like hub would replace me for a thinner person anytime

because in my head, (being thin means life is great) but in reality, i know its not true

but its hard to get out of my (obese world) sometimes.

[Beachgirl11 18]

Thank you all for comments, it helps me to know i'm not the only one that feels this way.???„

[Fantasy 104]

I have always had good self esteem and no matter what I weighed (I wouldn't have had the surgery if it wasn't for my health). I felt good about myself and always had a good time wherever I went. I have known exceptionally physically beautiful people and after getting to know them they became very ugly to me and other people. Don't do this to yourself, it will keep you and your better half from have the wonderful time you deserve. Go check out Special Olympics or volunteer for the Alzheimers Associaltion or your nearest vetrans hospital you will come out of it not worring about physical beauty. Why does everyone always wonder what other people think. Who and the he** are they anyway and why is it so important?

[Beachgirl11 18]

I'm really just self conscious when it comes to his co-workers. I guess just the thought of them comparing me to her, or even perhaps them saying negative comments of me to her.

You are right, the guys are nothing to me, not my friends, not my co-workers. I don't even have to like them a little, nothing!!!

[Cooper123 93]

Hi Beachgirl,

Your weight DOES NOT define who you are, not by a long shot. You are being SO hard on yourself to the point where you are paralyzed by your unfounded fear of rejection, and that is unfair to you and your husband.

You are SOOOO much more than just your weight !!!! and you need to realize that and give yourself the proper value.

When we meet people for the first time we usually focus on the physical aspect of the person because that's all we get the very first few seconds that we're introduced to them but after that there is SO much more, their personality, sense of humor, a sincere smile,the way they carry themselves and the more time you spend with them,the better they're going to know you and like you and see you for who you really are, they will see your real VALUE.

Life is too short to live afraid, we're all special in our own ways.

Go get'em !!!!

[Sojourner 2,446]

yes i have felt that then and now, today

i work with some young gorgeous gals

they ask me to go to bathroom with them during the day, you know how us girls are

and i hate it as i know people are yucking at me and lusting for them

i feel that way walking down the hall to the bathroom at work (passing people in the building)

afraid to go to any stores because am afraid people will laugh at me

and afraid to meet anyone new as i feel they would judge the outside and not the inside person

yes, i feel like hub would replace me for a thinner person anytime

because in my head, (being thin means life is great) but in reality, i know its not true

but its hard to get out of my (obese world) sometimes.

Years ago, my husband shared a "playful threat" with me...that "If I ever weighed more than he did, than he would divorce me". I was 118 pounds at the time, with a wide margin of safety...

The years passed, time took it's toll on health and mobility. Stress generated from grad school, parents terminal illnesses, prescription medications, and having a son in the US Marines on active duty in a war zone also affected my emotional well being... scroll ahead to 2010 with serious health concerns for my husband and my near fatal car accident. My weight increased through the years, and surpassed my husband's at some point. I cannot recall when that was...and he stopped teasing me about the "divorce".

A couple of months ago I announced that I was finally the same weight as he was...he smiled at me...and said "the threat's back on!" We will be married for 40 years next June...for better or worse, in sickness and in health.

He's been so supportive of me and my efforts to loose weight...I think he's a keeper!

So CG...my reason for sharing this is that your husband does love you, and seems to have taken his marriage vows seriously.

Don't allow your negative thoughts and assigning your beliefs to others to affect your joy of life and living.

You share so much happiness and joy with others...the scale does not define the amazing and uplifting person you are!

Best wishes...

[Lapbandster 496]

Wow

I can totally relate. But it's more than just co-workers. This feeling creeps up whenever I meet cousins, old friends, or anyone new for that matter. It's horrible, and i can certainly empathize. Remember your on your way to a thinner life. Use the memory of these awkward times to keep you motivated to lose the weight!