Does Getting Lap Band Affect Marriage?

[heathernl 9]

I am meeting w/my surgeon tomorrow to get the ball rolling on getting banded. My question is: I have heard of several people having marriage trouble after being banded and losing the weight. Has anyone experienced this?

[ballajones 61]

I think it Depends on the couple and how they were before. I know some people who get along fine and some that their relationship has changed. In mine my hubs stopped being supportive but I expected this because unless it involves sports it won't keep his attention. My hubby has also became jealous more so because a lot of people have notice a big change in my body. In the end both have to understand this is for your health.

[SageTracey 608]

I guess it depends on the state of your marriage going into this. My husband (married 28 years) is my best friend, greatest supporter and all round champion. Not only did he suggest I look at lap band surgery (which I was already starting to do), but he has been beside me every step of the way, literally. He is not a morning person but now he gets out of bed with me every morning to exercise. We walk, cycle and dance together. I love swimming but he was a non-swimmer so he went and got adult swimming lessons.

He does not judge me when I slip up but he is always there with a hand to support me. He is genuinely proud of my achievements and takes great delight, when we catch up with people, in saying, "Oh, you haven't seen Tracey for a while. Isn't she looking great!"

So for me, absolutely no marriage trouble, but I have read of it with other bandsters.

Good luck.

[Cpvillacis 27]

It depends on how secure the spouse may be.. me and my boyfriend (living together) are both overweight. He is not a jealous type. I got the lapband on 8/28/12. He's been very supportive. He's happy I'm going to lose weight. He won't care who looks or want me because he says I'm coming home to him...

Unlike me... I am a very jealous girl, I'm very greedy. I get so mad & jealous whenever another girl is interested in my boyfriend. He is overweight but has a cute face and a amazing personality, which attracts people.

He has no medical insurance so he can't get the lapband..

But if he were to lose weight, I know he will get a little concided & attract a lot more girls. I would be more jealous & just my luck, my relationship would probably be over due to my jealousy.

I definitely want my boyfriend to be healthy and I know I need to be more confident and mature about it, so I hope my weight loss can help me gain confidence & self esteem, so I can feel secure in my relationship.

So the answer to your question is it depends on the person... But I have witnessed some couple get divorce due to a drastic weightloss and I've seen couples stay together and be more happier.

[kittylove32 90]

Great topic! I am not banded yet but i am very curious to see how my hubby will act once i lose the weight. He is not a jealous person. I feel like now he doesn't pay me enough attention. I feel hurt a lot of the time. I feel like we don't have the best marriage and our sex life sucks big time. I have noticed since i started eating better and lost 2lbs that he will tell me i don't have to go crazy just yet. Or tell me you can eat that, your not banded yet. Seems like he is already getting in secure. When i met him i was at my thinnest, so he knows what i can look like. I can't wait to see how our marriage changes. Hopefully for the better!

[TexasDy 53]

My husband LOVES my band! I agree it depends on what your marriage and relationship is like now.

My biggest advice - If you get to a point where you're struggling, don't take his encouragement as nagging. He's just trying to help. "Remember to wait a minute between bites" is a very sweet thing for him to say!! Don't snap at him for it! LOL

[brlgirl 112]

My husband is supportive to a point. He is very happy that I am losing the weight, but really doesn't take the time to understand the band and why things get stuck/cause pain and why sometimes I have to drink a soda to get something unstuck. My husband, like a couple referred to here, isn't overly interested in anything but sports--but maybe when I get "small" enought I can put on a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader type costume and finally get his attention. (Really don't think that will EVER happen no matter how small I get!!)

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

I am meeting w/my surgeon tomorrow to get the ball rolling on getting banded. My question is: I have heard of several people having marriage trouble after being banded and losing the weight. Has anyone experienced this?

that could be the exception but i would gather if you continued the research, you will hear all good and all bad types of stories.

for me, it gave me back my confidence and that is making me feel more secure, more sexy, more alive than i have in years. so i would say it affected my marriage in a positive way. i am sure my hub would say the same thing.

[heathernl 9]

All great answers!! Thanks!

[FLHgal 68]

I have always wonder about this issue...I do believe a good/solid relationship will be enhanced when one or the other partner makes BIG changes...we are talking about weight loss...the question could also be looked at when a person moves up in the job market. We have been married 40 years and this has been a wonderful year for both of us..

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

At my first consult my dr asked me if hubby was supportive and did i have a strong marriage. I thought the question about the strength of my marriage was odd. I said yes hubby was on board with my decision because he was and is. I asked dr why he asked about the state of my marriage. He said he sees people every day that lose weight and become different people and it effects their relationships. He wanted me to be aware of that. At the time I thought that was crazy. I had been married forever... How could that be?

Fast forward 23 months. I am almost at goal and while I still have a great marriage and hubby is beyond proud of the new me... It's different. I cannot really put my finger on it but either I have changed or he has changed and therefore we have changed. It not a bad thing but I am less tolerant than I used to be about certain things and in return it creates some issues we never had before. We discuss it and are working on learning how to live with the new me and the old him. We are deeply in love and I am not worried about the future.... But I can see how if the relationship isn't strong and you both aren't on the same track it could go sour.