Harder And Harder

[wildrose1966 396]

Rhonda Marie.........I totally understand. None of these people are my close friends so what should I really care. Plus I know a few will be tomented when they can't figure out what is going on - hehe. I will tell them eventually, once I have figured my new lifestyle out myself.

[NurseLydsss 59]

For me, I chose not to tell but 1 person and my family physician. Reason being, When I was first looking into it 2yrs. ago, I was asking family, friends and co-workers what they thought about it. And I was getting negative comments all over that made me feel really uncomfortable and fearful. For that reason, I gave in and did not go through with the process then. But after trying to lose weight again, succeeded and to re-gain again, I felt enough was enough and this time, I will do what I have to do for me and I don't need any one else's negative opinion about it.

I work with mostly women, and many of them gossip about anything and everything (instead of focussing on doing their job). I feel it's non of their business and don't wish to hear different people coming to me telling me what others are saying behind my back while they are doing the same. So I simply ask for 2wks vacation....at which the lady was surprise cause I rarely take vacations....and that's that, some are asking oh where are you going, I tell them, when I find out, I'll let you know....once I say that, they stop talking and keep it moving lol...People do not need to know about your personal business if you don't want it to be known.

[Sojourner 2,446]

Just read someones post about eating a pretzel to make a co worker happy. OMG thats one of the ways I got so fat eating when I wasn't hungry to please some one else. You know the clean plate club girl who never wanted to hurt anyone.

STOP STOP STOP. do not fall in to that . If someones that concerned with your eating and what and when and how much they are not concerned about you they want company on the fat road they are on or they want you to stay fat so they do not have to compete with you. Never eat to please anyone else ever. Usually I end with just sayin.. but I hope your are just listening...

Good advice to only eat when you are hungry...but a slippery slope to make assumptions about the motivations of others in the scenario you described about eating to please others.

If one maintains healthy and appropriate boundaries for themselves, then they don't find themselves in an unhealthy relationship dynamic to want to please others, or to even believe that pleasing others in matters of individual well being is an appropriate approach to relationships.

If one engages in interpreting the motives or thoughts of others, those thoughts are really only assumptions, and as such create communication which is often inaccurate and can result in hurt feelings or anger.

The better approach is for each of us to focus on what one knows they need to do for themselves...and if others don't agree, then that is their problem.

IMHO...your mileage may vary...