Terrified of Lifestyle changes

[Carolyn M 0]

Thank you all for being here. This forum allows me a place to gather information and opinion. Thanks for that.

<O:p

I am going to have the Band procedure in two weeks (maybe). I welcome the weight loss as it's a dream for me to be slender and physically fit.<O:p

I am currently a nicely proportioned "big" girl who turns heads everyday and most everywhere that I go. I DO qualify and need to lose as 70lbs although I cannot imagine MY body at that weight! I am lucky that I have gotten by in life so well by having a well defined (but heavy) shape, alot of confidence (on the outside), a certain stylishness and alot personality.<O:p

<O:p

Finding the clothes that I would like to wear and knowing that I am not society's ideal is what plagues me. I am currently losing (very) slowly with diet and exercise with the help of a personal trainer and I'm feeling pretty good and hopeful (right now) that over time I can continue to reduce in size.

<O:p

<O:p

I am not concerned about the surgery or recovery itself so much (except the potential for pain from the gas during surgery - this sounds bad and feeling the port or not sleeping in the position of my choice). I've had some Lipo (w/infection) and lived...

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<O:p

I am concerned about the following:

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1). Being "gassy" and having persistent gas pains<O:p</O:p

2). Becoming a burper (I'm not a burper now and I don't want to be!) <O:p</O:p

3). Throwing up - period!<O:p</O:p

4). How long after surgery until I am ready for hot (truly hanging from the chandelier) sex with my boyfriend? (I am serious about this!)<O:p</O:p

5). Is choosing to do this surgery going to make me consumed with "what and how and when and with who and where and how much" to the point of distraction where I'm no fun to be with or like a "special needs" friend? Do I need to blender foods and take a broccoli-shake-on-ice (example) if I am going to be out all afternoon with the girls?

6). That I will regret having this done because it altered my life so dramatically<O:p</O:p

7). That I'll have ugly scars (I already have tiny lipo scars that don't bother me but I don't want to look like I've been butchered - which brings me to my next point)<O:p</O:p

8). I think (I am sure if you want to look like I want to look) that more surgery to remove excess skin is going to be needed (more scars and now I am looking like a pin cusion when naked<O:p</O:p

9). That this is just another drastic measure that I take that is not really necessary in the big picture... the side effects were not worth it.<O:p</O:p

10). That there is life altering stuff (either gross physical stuff or lifestyle changes) that I don't know of or can't imagine right now that are going to further be a problem or issue, etc. .<O:p</O:p

11). Dramatic weight loss causes wrinkles

12). The whole port thing freaks me out.

13). What have I left out - you tell me...

<O:p</O:p

I can really go either way at this moment. I waiver between this a the best option to actually lose weight and this is not necessary and I should accept myself, work HARD to lose it and deal with the health problems that have already begun to surface due to weight (diabetes for instance). <O:p

Who here thinks this is more trouble than it's worth? Wish you'd never done it?

<O:p</O:p

<O:p

Who has had a easy, great experience and thinks that this is the best thing that they ever did --- and never threw up or embarrassed themselves as a result of this?

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<O:p

I would really, really appreciate some feedback. I don't want to be a burping-gassy-bloated-uncomfortable-throwing up-non carbonated, cocktail sipping socialite-who cannot sleep on her side and is further inhibited, not by weight but as a result of the effects of living with this band.

<O:p</O:p

<O:p</O:p

Please help and be brutally honest... I NEED to know the worst of this to help me determine if this is for me or not. <O:p</O:p

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Thank you sincerely.<O:p</O:p

Carolyn M<O:p</O:p

[LapBandFan 22]

Carolyn, having been banded for little over 2 years here is my take on it. It was the best thing I ever done. The good Lord above and the band have allowed me to lose 140 pounds which I could never have done on my own. I would do it again in a heartbeat. To answer some of the other things you are concerned about....

1). Being "gassy" and having persistent gas pains I never have gas, I had a little after surgery but it only lasted about a week, took Gas-X tablets for that. <O:p</O:p

2). Becoming a burper (I'm not a burper now and I don't want to be!) This is not a thing I do, I never have had a problem with burping all the time since the band. <O:p</O:p

3). Throwing up - period! This is not part of my life either, never has been and we are actually discouraged from making ourself throw up, not a good healthy band thing, too much throwing up could cause slippage.<O:p</O:p

4). How long after surgery until I am ready for hot sex with my new boyfriend? (I am serious about this!) My doc said wait about 4 weeks to get over the soreness and so as not to pull anything loose (sutures, etc)

<O:p</O:p

5). Is choosing to do this surgery going to make me consumed with "what and how and when and with who and where and how much" to the point of distraction where I'm no fun to be with or like a "special needs" friend? Definitely not, You are more aware of what and how to eat, but you only obsess about it as much as you let yourself.

Do I need to blender foods and take a broccoli-shake-on-ice (example) if I am going to be out all afternoon with the girls? No silly, after you get back on regular food (after going through surgery and doing the liquid diet/ soft diet etc, you will be able to eat most normal foods (although I had to give up rice, Pasta and breads - they hurt to eat them got stuck in pouch). I do however keep a highprotein bar or beefjerky strip in my purse all the time though.

6). That I will regret having this done because it altered my life so dramatically NO, definitely not, not if you want to lose weight and have a new, better, and healthier you.... Yes, you will go through a time of "what in the crap have I done?" right after surgery and I went through a time of mourning of my old eating lifestyle and the food portion size you can no longer eat, but hey is it SOOOOOO worth it. Your lifestyle will be pretty much the same, just you will make better food choices, eat less and know you are doing the best thing for your health.

<O:p</O:p

7). That I'll have ugly scars (I already have tiny Lipo scars that don't bother me but I don't want to look like I've been butchered - which brings me to my next point) Well, scars are gonna be there, that is just normal. You can get that scar cream to help reduce the signs of the scars. No way out of this one...

<O:p</O:p

8). I think (I am sure if you want to look like I want to look) that more surgery to remove excess skin is going to be needed (more scars and now I am looking like a pin cusion when naked Sure, plastic surgery may be necessary for sagging skin etc, but hey at least it is just skin and not fat as before. I am currently waiting on insurance approval for a Tummy Tuck, which in my opinion, another surgery is worth it to get rid of the sagging skin and feel better about myself. Again, scars are inevitable.

<O:p</O:p

9). That this is just another drastic measure that I take that is not really necessary in the big picture... the side effects were not worth it. What side effects? I only see GOOD from it all.

10). That there is life altering stuff (either gross physical stuff or lifestyle changes) that I don't know of or can't imagine right now that are going to further be a problem or issue, etc. .Everyone is different and experiences are different, but I, myself, have only had the great life-altering weight loss that came with the surgery. Yes, I have sagging skin, but I knew that was expected. Erosion and slippage are risk factors that can happen which your surgeon should go over with you, that is just a chance you take. I personally had a slippage 10 months after the band and had a replacement surgery with a new band and I feel it was worth a second surgery and would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Just gotta decide on your own if that risk of slippage, erosion or port leak is worth it to you or not. To me, it was and those risks are small compared to other types of weight loss surgery or the risks of NOT losing the weight with poor health inevitable in the future from being obese (heart attack, stroke, diabetes, etc)

<O:p</O:p

11). Dramatic weight loss causes wrinkles Wrinkles.... well, hey they are gonna come eventually, weight loss or not, we are human ....it happens....That is what plastic surgeons are for....I would rather be a skinny wrinkled woman than a smoothed-skin obese woman!!!

<O:p</O:p

I can really go either way at this moment. I waiver between this a the best option to actually lose weight and this is not necessary and I should accept myself, work HARD to lose it and deal with the health problems that have already begun to surface due to weight (diabetes for instance). Time and again, if you search the boards, you will find that so many people have got to get off their diabetic medicines and arthritis medicines after they have lost their weight, mind you, it is not everybody that will, but your health improves to drastically with weight loss that you won't need as much medications. I feel the that why not do the surgery if it will help prolong your life and better your health. I understand the fear of it all. But weighing in at 365, I felt like such a loser and slob that I was so ready to try anything to lose the weight and am SO GLAD the band was there for me.

<O:p</O:p

<O:p

Who has had a easy, great experience and thinks that this is the best thing that they ever did --- and never threw up or embarrassed themselves as a result of this? Like I said, best thing I ever done....I don't throw up hardly ever, yes, I do have the times when I eat too fast and the food gets stuck but it passes over time, but I try to tough through it and wait on it to pass, but It teaches me a lesson on slowing down when I eat and chewing and not swallowing until the bite of food is mush.....Live and learn experiences...

I don't know about everyone else, but I can sleep on my side just fine.

Hope you will think about the band, it is one of the best things I have ever done in my life, but I realize that others on here have been there and done that and have had lots of problems/complications, but I can only say for me....love my band and grateful for it....Take care.

Brenda<O:p</O:p

Thank you all for being here. This forum allows me a place to gather information and opinion. Thanks for that.

<O:p

I am going to have the Band procedure in two weeks (maybe). I welcome the weight loss as it's a dream for me to be slender and physically fit. <O:p

I am currently a nicely proportioned "big" girl who turns heads everyday and most everywhere that I go. I DO qualify and need to lose as 70lbs although I cannot imagine MY body at that weight! I am lucky that I have gotten by in life so well by having a well defined (but heavy) shape, alot of confidence (on the outside), a certain stylishness and alot personality.<O:p

<O:p

Finding the clothes that I would like to wear and knowing that I am not society's ideal is what plagues me. I am currently losing (very) slowly with diet and exercise with the help of a personal trainer and I'm feeling pretty good and hopeful (right now) that over time I can continue to reduce in size. <O:p

<O:p

I am not concerned about the surgery or recovery itself so much (except the potential for pain from the gas during surgery - this sounds bad and feeling the port or not sleeping in the position of my choice). I've had some lipo (w/infection) and lived...<O:p</O:p

<O:p

I am concerned about the following:<O:p</O:p

<O:p</O:p

1). Being "gassy" and having persistent gas pains<O:p</O:p

2). Becoming a burper (I'm not a burper now and I don't want to be!) <O:p</O:p

3). Throwing up - period!<O:p</O:p

4). How long after surgery until I am ready for hot sex with my new boyfriend? (I am serious about this!)<O:p</O:p

5). Is choosing to do this surgery going to make me consumed with "what and how and when and with who and where and how much" to the point of distraction where I'm no fun to be with or like a "special needs" friend? Do I need to blender foods and take a broccoli-shake-on-ice (example) if I am going to be out all afternoon with the girls?

6). That I will regret having this done because it altered my life so dramatically<O:p</O:p

7). That I'll have ugly scars (I already have tiny lipo scars that don't bother me but I don't want to look like I've been butchered - which brings me to my next point)<O:p</O:p

8). I think (I am sure if you want to look like I want to look) that more surgery to remove excess skin is going to be needed (more scars and now I am looking like a pin cusion when naked<O:p</O:p

9). That this is just another drastic measure that I take that is not really necessary in the big picture... the side effects were not worth it.<O:p</O:p

10). That there is life altering stuff (either gross physical stuff or lifestyle changes) that I don't know of or can't imagine right now that are going to further be a problem or issue, etc. .<O:p</O:p

11). Dramatic weight loss causes wrinkles

<O:p</O:p

I can really go either way at this moment. I waiver between this a the best option to actually lose weight and this is not necessary and I should accept myself, work HARD to lose it and deal with the health problems that have already begun to surface due to weight (diabetes for instance). <O:p

Who here thinks this is more trouble than it's worth? Wish you'd never done it?<O:p</O:p

<O:p

Who has had a easy, great experience and thinks that this is the best thing that they ever did --- and never threw up or embarrassed themselves as a result of this? <O:p</O:p

<O:p

I would really, really appreciate some feedback. I don't want to be a burping-gassy-bloated-uncomfortable-throwing up-non carbonated, cocktail sipping socialite-who cannot sleep on her side and is further inhibited, not by weight but as a result of the effects of living with this band.

<O:p</O:p

<O:p</O:p

Please help and be brutally honest... I NEED to know the worst of this to help me determine if this is for me or not. <O:p</O:p

<O:p</O:p

Thank you sincerely.<O:p</O:p

Carolyn M<O:p</O:p

[JanetC 2]

1). Being "gassy" and having persistent gas pains<o></o>: My gas post-op was staggering... but only for 3 weeks. The first week was terrible, the 2nd week was awful, the 3rd week was irritating. Now it only hurts when I get over hungry (I'm bad about not eating in time). On the other hand, my husband (banded 2 days before me), had ZERO gas pains. It varies from person to person.

2). Becoming a burper (I'm not a burper now and I don't want to be!) <o></o>I can't make myself burp, lol. I do sometimes feel the need, but normally only if I've done something wrong: eaten too fast is my biggest culprit. My burps now are more, um, lady-like. They're really more like a little hiccup, except just 1 or 2.

3). Throwing up - period! They really try to have you avoid throwing up. There is the possibility of PBing (Productive Burp)... but again, it's something that happens when you do something wrong: don't chew well enough, eat too fast, take too big a bite. If you learn your new habits & practice them, you won't ever throw up. It's NOT inevitable, just possible.<o></o>

4). How long after surgery until I am ready for hot (truly hanging from the chandelier) sex with my boyfriend? (I am serious about this!)<o></o> Our doctor told us we could after 10 days... as soon as we felt like it. I felt like it at about a month. My husband felt like it on day 11, lol.

5). Is choosing to do this surgery going to make me consumed with "what and how and when and with who and where and how much" to the point of distraction where I'm no fun to be with or like a "special needs" friend? Do I need to blender foods and take a broccoli-shake-on-ice (example) if I am going to be out all afternoon with the girls? I think it is a bit consuming in the beginning... while you learn your new lifestyle. I find myself thinking about it a LOT. But I can already see it fading a bit. food on the whole is fading... which is cool, I've NEVER been able to forget food!

You definitely do not have to take broccoli-shakes out with you. There is a post-op diet, but that is limited & will be described to you by your surgeon. (Ours was 3 weeks. Other doctors are longer.) Once you're done with the post-op, it's just a matter of what YOU can eat -- each person is different. For me, I've been able to eat everything (bread, Pasta & rice included). It does vary, though, so if you're not willing to give something up, this may not be the solution for you.

6). That I will regret having this done because it altered my life so dramatically<o></o> WLS is a VERY personal decision. We cannot guarantee that you won't regret it. I personally don't regret mine. I know Mikey doesn't regret his. But I can't speak for you.

7). That I'll have ugly scars (I already have tiny Lipo scars that don't bother me but I don't want to look like I've been butchered - which brings me to my next point) Our scars are already fading... by a year I doubt you'll even see most of them (2 are larger... the top, which is under my bra strap, and the bottom (port)). There's a thread with scars: (it appears to be missing... hopefully it will show back up, it WAS a sticky in the general forum). If you'd like to see Mikey's or my scars, we have a picture page on my blog: http://www.yylc.us/Janet

8). I think (I am sure if you want to look like I want to look) that more surgery to remove excess skin is going to be needed (more scars and now I am looking like a pin cusion when naked<o></o> PS is an option if needed. Some are going with body wraps as an alternative, depending on how much skin you're talking about. Where you have 70 pounds to lose, you MIGHT get lucky & have the skin shrink with you. It really depends on your skin, your weight, and how long you've carried that weight. It's very personal. However, good plastic surgeons hide the scars really well -- in panty lines, under arms, etc... you can barely see them (after 6 months, of course... they look ugly to start & take time to fade).

9). That this is just another drastic measure that I take that is not really necessary in the big picture... the side effects were not worth it.<o></o> It sounds to me like you may not be that unhappy with yourself as you are. You really have to weigh the benefits against the costs. You WILL have to modify what / how you eat. You WON'T lose fast -- the goal is 1.5 - 2 pounds a week. It will probably effect your diabetes positively. It will change your appearance (assuming compliance with the dietary requirements).

For me, it is worth it. My knees are already thanking me. My blood pressure thanks me. My PCOS thanks me. My closet thanks me. My husband thanks me. I've barely started the journey & it's been worth it. A small change in eating habits, while difficult to learn, was worth it for long-term results... for me.

You have to decide for yourself.

10). That there is life altering stuff (either gross physical stuff or lifestyle changes) that I don't know of or can't imagine right now that are going to further be a problem or issue, etc. We cannot speak for you. Some sail through this with little to no problems. Others fight it daily. We can't say what will happen to you. Again, create a list of pro's & con's FOR YOU. Then weigh them against each other & decide which way is better for you.

For me, my life has not altered drastically. It did immediately following the surgery... for 3 weeks. Then I was back to normal. I can eat out, I can eat with others. They don't even notice I'm banded (I didn't tell many people). Folks normally don't notice how much you eat... and if you take small enough bites, they don't even notice you're chewing more then normal.

I'm not quite up to gymnastics (5 weeks post-op), but I am able to do sit-ups & exercises... I am still paranoid at this point, so I do them carefully. If I feel the port "stretching", I go easy. But I can see a difference weekly & I'm sure that soon I won't notice it much if at all.<o></o>

11). Dramatic weight loss causes wrinkles Getting old causes wrinkles. There are steps to take to avoid the weight loss ones. But really, you have to decide if it's worth it to be thinner & have a few wrinkles or be plump & not have wrinkles. Personally, I'm opting for the wrinkles.

12). The whole port thing freaks me out. You do have a foreign object inside you. You can sometimes feel / see it, depending on your body shape & port placement. Mine doesn't show... I can feel it if I try (I have to push on my stomach to feel it). My husband's shows when he's standing in a certain position. You have to know it's there & be looking for it -- it doesn't stick out or anything, there's just a tiny bulge that if you look at both sides you notice is only on one side.

For those that lose enough weight that their port is visible, there are port revision surgeries... to get a lower-profile port.

13). What have I left out - you tell me... The thing that I'm struggling with the most currently is anger, lol. It isn't rational, but it's there. I paid a LOT of money & went through a surgery in order to have my portions limited, but I'm ANGRY that I can't eat as much as I want. I'm UPSET that I can't binge! How silly is that?

I do realize that this is a head-issue... and I'm working on it. But that, for me, has been the down side. I literally canNOT eat a "value meal" now... in fact, I often cannot finish a sandwich -- and I don't even have good restriction.

Mikey tells me to focus on how much money we're saving & how much weight we're losing & how food isn't our priority any more. But I still feel anger, lol. Guess I have to learn to let go!

Good luck with your decision. Ask questions, attend multiple seminars. Weight loss surgery is drastic & personal. The band is reversible, but the scars aren't. For me, the scars aren't noticable enough to matter, but I can't say for you. Make sure you really want it before you do it!

[Alexandra 55]

Carolyn, your questions boil down to what I was most concerned about when I was researching surgery: Would I be able to be "normal" afterwards? The idea of saddling myself with a lifetime of handicaps because I couldn't manage my weight on my own was the #1 issue I wrestled with for months.

But the time came when it was crystal clear to me that I simply couldn't manage my weight on my own. (You'd think 40 years of trying would have proven that to me, and it finally did.) So the scales tipped in the direction of having surgery to reclaim my life, which was honestly slipping away from me.

And the answer is: YES, I AM NORMAL. There are no broccoli shakes in my pocketbook, and no one has ever noticed how I'm eating or not eating when socializing. Yes, it was hard to get used to no longer being a glutton, but that is a change I simply HAD to be prepared to make. There is nothing I can't eat, I've just had to learn a different way to eat everything. It's really a freeing thing--one of my favorite aspects of this life is knowing that I will always be able to make a meal on just a few bites of something. It really works to make just a little food completely satisfying!

There are no ugly scars; after 2+ years they are hard even for me to find. I also have no burping or gas issues, I never did.

I honestly can't imagine regretting being banded. Sure, there are times even now when I wistfully remember the "pleasure" of a giant plate of nachos or Chinese food, but then I remember the misery of being 340 lbs and I'm back to being thrilled. Eating too much is what got me there, and I am ecstatic about the fact I can no longer do so.

[MerryHearted 20]

I don't regret having this surgery one bit. I've never PB'd or thrown up. I can eat normally except in smaller quantities. Nobody but immediate family knows I had the surgery. I don't have any issues with my port, although it was certainly sore at first.

You can't eat normally the first month as you're still healing, but there are ways around that -- avoid eating out with friends at first. And I was definitely gassier the first few weeks after surgery, but now I'm back to normal. Snarf down those Gas-X tablets, they help.

Don't worry - you won't become the "special needs" friend, particularly if you don't want to be.

Whether you will regret it or be part of the few % who have problems like erosion or slippage is impossible to tell up front. I haven't heard many folks say they regret doing this, even those who have had to have their bands removed down the road.

Good luck on your decision!

[S@ssen@ch 745]

Carolyn,

The only time I have had second thoughts about my banding was when I was having gall bladder problems, didn't know it was gall bladder problems and blamed my band for it.

I have no gas problems or excessive burping. The only time I did was the immediate post-op gas, which is normal and easily managed by walking a lot, heating pads and gas-x.

I don't throw up or PB, never have except for the dark, gall bladder days and that was unrelated to the band. Again, this is something to be avoided and usually caused by something we did like not chewing well, eating too fast or eating an item that "doesn't agree" with our band. Personally, I can eat anything and everything my little heart desires. I just eat it in smaller quantities and enough to satisfy my need to taste it.

As far as the truly hot sex. I would think as long as you feel comfortable (and not sore anymore) you can resume your normal bedroom activities. The incisions are small-the largest being about 2 inches- and as long as they are closed, go for it!

This and any WLS is and can be consuming immediately post op because you can (and IMHO should be) doing your very best to conform to your doctor's post op advice and the WLS lifestyle. Once you have that down pat, it fades into the background of your life and becomes "you". There are no weird "broccoli shakes". At first you will have some unusual diet consistencies such as full liquids, mushies, etc. But, once that is up it's smooth sailing.

The scars, if done laprascopically, consist of five small incisions ranging from about half inch to 2 inches. The largest is due to the port which is placed under your skin and secured to your abdominal muscle-which is why it's so darn sore after surgery. Every surgeon has their favorite place to put it. Mine is left of my belly button and up towards my rib cage, kind of in my waist line. The scars take a while to heal, but eventually turn into a small silver line and, at nearly 1 year out I can barely notice mine.

There's no absolute that you will need PS. You said you have 70 lbs to lose. It depends on how you carry that 70 lbs, how long you've carried it, how young you are, how fast you lose it. So many things. It is possible that you lose the weight slow enough and with enough of a toning work out that you don't need PS. One can always hope. I've lost 75, I have about 50 to go and I'm not sure if I'd have PS. So far, the only place I have loose skin is that chubby part between my legs. Guess I'll do a few more leg lifts at the gym. Oh, and my "girls" are a little saggier than I started.

You mentioned dramatic weight loss causes wrinkles. Yes, it can. Again, I refer back to my weight loss. I've lost 75 lbs and other than a few laugh lines around my eyes I have no more wrinkles than I had when I started this journey. I'm 35 years old and if that's it, I'm glad.

Now, you wanted brutal honesty so here goes. If I offend I apologize in advance but this is what I read into what you posted. From the information that you gave me, I'm afraid that you may be making the decision to have WLS for the wrong reason. You seem to be happy with yourself for the most part and merely attempting to conform to the "society ideal" that you mention in your post as well as the great clothes you look forward to wearing. You speak very highly of yourself by saying you turn heads and are well porportioned. Are your goals attainable? You imply in the PS question that you are already assuming you're going to have it because you have an ideal in mind. As part of your pre-op requirements did you have to have a psych eval? No, I don't think you're crazy. I just want to make sure you're in the right frame of mind and are making these decisions for the right reasons. Your statement "That this is just another drastic measure that I take that is not really necessary in the big picture... the side effects were not worth it" concerns me. I wouldn't want you to regret your decision. I certainly haven't. It's given me a new lease on life and better health.

Again, I hope I haven't offended. My goal was only to shed light on what I read as a potential problem. If this was merely pre-op jitters, which I think we all get, then hooray. I was wrong.

Good Luck

[Paulax 8]

Awsome answers people.

I love this board.

[Carolyn M 0]

Thank you to all who have replied so far. I wanted to respond to the idea that I am actually not so unhappy with myself and I might be doing this for the wrong reasons. During my pre-op evaluation(s) I was placed on Prozac which has, in fact, rosied my outlook and disposition. Plus the mere fact that I could have this procedure and there was hope, that has also allowed me to relax and to let go of some of the obsession of my body size.

I am really lucky in that my fat suit fits me really well and I am still sexy and "vuluptuous" as I am often called. But I still dislike my body. I am carrying excess weight (I'm 215lbs) and it makes me uncomfortable and self conscious. I could probably get away with remaining this size but I imagine the joy of being an even more sexy, smaller size (same shape but less of me). Losing this excess weight would enable me to project and express myself in ways that I don't or can't do now.

I am experiencing pre op fears for sure. Everything from the scars to potenial hair loss is freaking me out... EVERYTHING is freaking me out. It's fear of the unknown. I am devouring your posts in this forum and I am feeling that the pros outweight the cons. One factor to note is that with all of my good intentions, personal trainer, modified food plans, etc., I still overate dinner tonight (and I am sick and tired of struggling with thtese feelings) and the truth is that I will continue to overeat without this procedure. I have always overeaten. I really want a solution and the general feeling here seems to be that this is a good solution... So I just have to suck it up and get it done despite the scars and the fact that I might lose my hair and have that as a new problem to deal with... I'll feel exactly the opposite in about 12 seconds...

I'm really going to need you guys... thanks for being here...

Carolyn M

[JanetC 2]

Hehe, we've all been with you on the mood swings during pre-op! And immediately following the surgery, lol.

For the hair loss, start now. Make sure you're getting enough Protein in (do a web search for protein... the amount varies by study, but anywhere from 60-100g per day). And start supplementing Biotin (it's one of the B vitamins). Some Hair loss is inevitable with surgery, but it doesn't have to be a ton... and it does grow back.

Ask your surgeon how he closes his cuts: staples or "glue & tape". Glue & tape leaves smaller scars, imho. They still aren't really big, but it sounds like it matters to you.

Mostly, just ask as many questions as you can think of. The more the merrier! It's your body, you deserve to know!

[NeenBand 7]

Carolyn, I'm 9 days post op, and I was terrified of the changes too. That's why even though I was approved for this surgery a year ago, I did not get it done. I was not ready, plus I wanted to read up more etc.

During that time I also came to realize I could not lose weight and keep it off on my own, was steadily gaining and I was headed for early death.

It is a huge lifestyle change, I'm not going to sugar coat it for you, so if you feel you could lose the weight without surgery and keep it off, then I would do that. In my opinion weight loss surgery shold be the last resort.

[Poodles 0]

I am literally bawling after reading this. Two minutes after I heard the words "your approved" I started freaking out, wondering what the heck I was going to do to myself. Practically every question/concern Carolyn has has run thru my mind.

Thank you for posting the questions Carolyn, and thanks to all that have replied. This board truly helps people with their choices.

[Xann77 0]

I am about 70 pounds overweight (225) and while I could probably live with myself at that weight because I also was and am very confident and was viewed as "sexy" and "voluptous"... the fact that every single year I seemed to put on another ten pounds, no matter how hard I tried to avoid it, is what ultimately put me over the edge. I just didn't want to wait another ten years and be another 100 pounds. As Jack said earlier, most of the people on this board will tell you that their only regret is that they didn't get the band sooner! I sometimes sense that being a "lower-BMI" bandster can *sometimes* bug people on this board (although I think all my bandster brothers and sisters have been AMAZINGLY supportive, regardless of BMI), but my reasoning was to make a change that would help my FUTURE. I've tried and tried to lose the weight and always, always failed. And when I thought of getting pregnant (no kids now), I KNEW that I would gain a ton of weight (I just have that "Baby-making" frame) and I dreaded the thought of never being able to lose it and just getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

So for me, the band wasn't just about the present, it was about the future. Maybe that's something you should consider too.

[Jonathan 5]

My opinion will differ from most of those already posted here. Isn't diversity great? =)

I welcome the weight loss as it's a dream for me to be slender and physically fit.

I wonder how many people that post to this board -- even those who have lost 100+ lbs and been highly successful -- actually fall into the "slender" category. I don't think it's *too* many. I only pose the question to point out that your expectations might surpass the "norm".

I am currently losing (very) slowly with diet and exercise with the help of a personal trainer and I'm feeling pretty good and hopeful (right now) that over time I can continue to reduce in size.

If this is the truth -- the honest truth -- then I think surgery is a huge mistake right now. The lap-band doesn't cause rapid weight loss. (At least, again, that's not the "norm".) If you're losing weight right now, no matter how slowly, I'd seriously reconsider having surgery. I think WLS should be a last resort -- the option that someone takes when nothing else works, and their life is out of control because of it.

It sounds to me like something else IS working, and that your life isn't out of control.

13). What have I left out - you tell me...

How about a slipped or eroded band? Infected port? Dying from the surgery itself?

Yes, these are rare occurances, and lap-band surgery has a VERY low death rate, but just look at how many people here have had our bands removed or replaced. For most of us (I think), the risk didn't matter, because we would have rather died than continued down the path that we were on. It just doesn't sound to me like that's where you're coming from.

Based on what you said, if you have no compelling reason to have surgery in 2 weeks, I'd wait. Wait through the summer, maybe, and see how you're doing and how you feel.

Like I said, my opinion is different. I respect, completely, every opinion written here, and you've definitely come to the right place to get some good advice. In the end, that's all it is, and you have to decide.

*Whatever* you decide, I wish you nothing but the best.

Blessings,

Jonathan

[S@ssen@ch 745]

Thank you Jonathan. In my effort not to offend, I glossed over it so lightly I missed the point you so eloquently made. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. These were my concerns and what I read in Carolyn's original post as well.

[Morsaille 4]

Glad to be following Jonathan, I'd hate to be the only raincloud...

I agree with him. He has learned more than I ever hope to on his banded journey and was pretty smart before, I suspect.

Some of the fears you mentioned are happening to me.

I lose hair, a LOT of hair! I call the hairballs my kittens. They are the size of my daughters fist; I get a new one every day. Even taking Vitamins and pushing 60+ grams of Protein daily hasn't slowed it.

I burp so much more than I ever did before (and I like it). I seem to have more restriction from below than from above so that I can hold on to a lot of air which can get uncomfortable.

I have thrown-up (PB) on perfectly normal and healthy food, I just missed a piece of Broccoli stalk the size of a split pea. You can probably count the LBT'ers who have never PB'd on one hand.

If you have hot, chandelier hanging, sex now - you can have it soon after surgery, but if you are waiting to be comfortable in a new body, that can take as long as it takes. Sometimes never.

For me, banding was the right choice, I would do it again. I don't much care how slowly I lose... as long as I am losing.

If I thought for one minute I could have lost on my own, I would be band-less without my five gorgeous purple scars and huge bruise from my last fill.

I am here to support you. When I was pre-op I wanted ALL the information I could get before heading into surgery. So here's the info ~

ALL of the complications happen to someone.

That someone could be you.

That someone could be me.