Pushing Myself

[Harlow1980 7]

Had my first fill and am still eating. Not crazy amounts but enough to make me feel like I'm a failure. I realized I'm being too hard on myself and only focusing on the negative. Successes? I am hungry less, make better choices and eat much less. What's wrong with that? NOTHING!!! Feel free to share any insight.

[Sojourner 2,446]

We're always going to be our own worst critic...you can't expect to have significant restriction with a first fill. It likely will take several fills before you will be close to your "green zone", and some bandsters never get there. For those, hunger will always be something they need to work to manage...

It's not unusual to focus on the negatives...what is positive may be overlooked or taken for granted. It's a major positive that you are able to recognize the upside with your progress.

[Christy.Lynn 10]

I had my first fill yesterday, and had no idea that they do fills in baby steps. I have yet to try "normal" food after this first fill, but I know that in the last week leading up to the fill, I was also feeling like I was eating too much and feeling like a failure. I wasn't focusing on my successes at all though. I love how you pointed out to remember our successes. For me, that would be not eating any sort of chocolate candy bar since prior to July 31. I didn't know I could go that long without dying!!! or at least feeling like I was gonna die or hurt someone. I am enjoying feeding my body with quality food instead of whatever I feel like eating. I get a strange sense of satisfaction by not eating near the quantity that I used to, and eating healthier. Makes me feel much better emotionally!

[sharonk 23]

I too had my first fill recently, 8/23 to be exact. I am ashamed at my eating habits right now!

I started off strong (239lbs down to 211lbs) within the first three weeks of surgery. 16 lbs down just from the preop. At this point i have been fluctuating between -26-28 lbs.

I already know i need another fill because i have been eating a little more than i think i should. Granted it IS less than what i used to eat pre-band. But i also have ate Pasta and have used flatbread with my tuna. I have also snuck in a piece of apple pie with reg vanilla ice cream two nights in a row this week. I feel horrible for making these choices!!

My Dr said at my first fill apt to come back in two months and we will see where im at but i think I'm only going to go a month and try to get back in for a small fill the 1st part of October. At least i hope too!!

As for my food choices, i will continue to fight the urges to the best of my ability.

Good luck to you!

[Christy.Lynn 10]

I've been eating more than I know I should, too. I'm trying to stop, but I feel guilty, which makes me want to eat more because I feel bad. So I'm trying to stop the negative spiral. I was doing so good the last few weeks, I want to get back there. Just gotta do it. Urges are so frustrating, and I've been quite cranky lately! This forum has helped me so much and encourages me to keep pushing forward.