Talking To My Children About Lbs

[ChicagoRose 650]

I am a mom of two children ages 7 and 5 and am very honest with them when they have questions about life and death, someone in the hospital, changes in families, etc. I am planning on getting banded sometime around the Holidays and I KNOW they will notice when I am on liquids, or when I have to recover. I know many people on this website didin't even confide in close family and friends, so am I crazy that I am already planning how and when I will explain this procedure that mommy is having done?? I just can't imagine not being honest with them. I think children are more receptive than we give them credit for. Ideas?

[NWgirl 574]

I don't have children, but the only thing I would be worried about is the children spilling the Beans (so to speak) to someone else because they don't understand it's not common knowledge.

Because they're children, I would illustrate in a way they can comprehend- in "Bandwagon" by Jean McMillian, she uses the visual of a soda bottle being the stomach. With a normal stomach, you must fill the bottle all the way to the top to activate the area of the stomach that tells your brain you are satisfied. The Lapband acts as a band around the top part of the bottle, meaning you eat a lot less to activate the satisfied feeling to the brain.

I hope I explained that right.

[elcee 3,341]

Tell them in simple terms. Maybe say that Mummy has to go into the hospital so that the Dr can do something to help Mummy lose weight. Explain that being over weight is unhealthy. I wouldn't go into great detail about the op and anaesthesia etc as you don't want to scare them. I would focus on how afterwards you will have to eat slowly and carefully and exercise. it might be a good opportunity for everyone in the family to get involved in healthy eating and exercise etc.

[CB2 26]

I had mine aug 8. My kids went to a Water park that day. I told them I was starting a crazy diet and I really hope it works. They are 11 & 8. They have no idea and I don't have to worry about them telling ppl.

[Skyvic 226]

My kids were 13 and 10, so it was easy to just be honest, I told them I needed to get some extra weight off so I could be healthier and walk better. They have been very supportive.

[Heathermarie0407 67]

My kids are 5 and 8. They saw me going to the doctor every month during the pre op diet, my son even came with me alot. I basically told them the basics, mom is having surgery to help her lose weight. For the five year old that was pretty much enough. The eight year old had more questions. I answered every one of them as simply as possible. My eight year old was very worried about me having surgery and actually cried the night before, I assured her that what they were doing was safe and nothing more than when she had her tonsils out.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

My youngest had just turned 9 when I had mine and I told him the truth. I had surgery that placed a band around my stomach to help me lose weight. When he told me he still loved me fat and I didn't have to do that, I hugged him and told him I was doing it because I loved him so much I wanted to be healthier so I can do more with him.

He totally "got it" when I put it that way. Now these days, I'm walking a couple of miles a night with him, taking him to the zoo, and planning a trip to Disney with him and my daughter this spring break. I kept my promise

[Sojourner 2,446]

Well, none of my sons (ages 36, 33, 31) were very enthusiastic or supportive of my choice to get the band, especially the one who is a pharmacist who flat out said "Don't do it Mom!".

Now that I've been able to loose some weight, the middle son (an endodontist) compliments me about how good and healthy I am looking every time he visits.

My eldest son (IT manager) tells me I'm looking healthier, but doesn't say much. He is obese, and I would be so thankful if he were to get motivated to loose some weight, but as his mother, I can't really say much. His wife who is an RN has also pleaded with him...to no avail.

I learned an enlightening bit of information last week while attending an appointment at my PCP's office. Our son has continued to see the same family doctor that his parents have had for years...( we have an open understanding between all of us about HIPPA).

The PCP is also trying to get him to loose weight, and the doctor told me that my son told him that he is inspired by seeing my success with weight loss, and is slowly changing his attitude towards weight loss. Sheer music for me to hear...

Got way off topic...as for how much to disclose to your children...I would not say anything about your diet or procedure, and wait for them to ask any questions they may present. Keep your answers basic and age appropriate to what they can understand.

Children are resilient beyond what we often give them credit for. If they ask, then share what you feel is appropriate with them. There's no need to create any needless fear or anxiety.

[kmaas21605 14]

My 3 year old granddaughter went with her mom and I then we got a fill, due to the babysitter canceling at the last minute. We told her the Dr. was making us better, and when he was finished she pulled up her shirt and told him she was "hungry". At the shoe store she ripped off her shoes and told me she was "weighing her feet" on the children's shoe size display!! LOL

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

I told my son who was 5 at the time that I was having something done to my stomach to help me be healthy (later, post-op and older, we had more detailed discussion). Like someone else above said, he told me he loved me and I was perfect like I was and I told him thank you but I needed to lose weight so I could be healthier and be around to watch him raise his kids some day. Initially he was worried about me having surgery so we really down played what was happening. I didn't tell him the morning I was actually having it done because I was worried he'd be fretting all day. My dad picked him up from school that day and told him the doctor had decided to go ahead and do my surgery, it was the last day before school break and he got a GI bug and puked all night so really didn't have the time or energy to worry!

[brandice 40]

I have been very open with my choice. Everyone in my life knows that I am having WLS next week. And everyone has been very supportive. My kids new about my choice 6 months ago when I started my Journey. And it has been great. My 3 kids and I have all been eating better cutting sugar from our lives. and more importantly they see what I am going through and hopefully will help them to make better life choices so that they don't go through what I have too. They see all the meds I have to take. They have seen me hospitalized. My kids are my number 1 supporters! And with them knowing they tend to stay away from the foods I buy specifically for me, which is hard because they love my diet food! lol I know a lot of people don't like outsiders to know about their WLS but for me it has been a good choice to be open with it. My kids are 13, 8, and 6.

[jesbowne 19]

I also have been upfront with my kids 11 & 13....we don't keep secrets in our household and they are very supportive about my decision. They have not expressed any fears as I am a nurse.

[andrealeigh2116 4]

We pretty much explained the "kid friendly" version of what was going to happen to our kids (3,4 and 9). They were going to be spending 2 nights with my mom and we generally discuss everything anyways! I told them the dr was going to put a band around my stomach to help me lose weight to help me eat healthier so that I could lose weight. We stressed with our 9 year old girl that it was a health improvement and not a vanity issue, as she is already getting worried about her appearance.They were all super in helping me recover! Helped pick up their toys, got me anything I needed, climbed into their carseats without complaining since I couldn't lift them. I've been pretty open with everyone about my surgery, blogged about it, etc. So I wasn't worried about them "spilling the beans."

[bigenuff 302]

My son is 3 and uses my belly as s punching/ kicking bag to practice his karate.I just showed him the bandages and told him the doctor cut my tummy to make better.now every chance he gets he tries to lift my shirt and see the scars.the other day he asked me if the doctor used a scapel.I have no idea where he got that word from.

[Dacoop 84]

I was banded last Dec 2011. I let my daughter know I was having surgury. I told her I was getting it done so mommy can be the mommy I want to be by playing with her, going on bike rides, and yes even getting in a swim suit and going swimming with her. I told her I didn't want to be the mommy sitting and watching I wanted to right there with her doing it. I told her that if I lost the weight I wouldn't be so tired and could do those things. She was pretty scared for me but my husband and I assured her I would be fine. She came up to the hospital later the day of surgery and saw me. Which wasn't the best because they gave me too much meds to put me to sleep for surgery and I was in and out and very sick. It ended up my doc made me stay the night to monitor me. But there is one thing I do remember my daughter came over to me and said "mommy I don't want to hurt your feeling but your still fat!" I laughed because I didn't realize she thought they were going to cut me to pieces to make me skinny that was why she was so scared. She is OK now but she does say I was more comfy when I was larger. Haha. The only time she was gotten a little uptight is when she has seen me stuck a couple of times. She is my biggest cheerleader and always says slow down and chew. I love her and glad she helps me out. Today is her bday and she is the big eight years old.