Bjc1227 64 Posted September 1, 2012 This may seem like a strange question at this age. I've been divorced for about 8 years and I would like to find someone to share my next 20 years. I've dated a few times but most single men, no matter their age, are looking for women who are not obese. I'm assuming my dates didn't work out because of my weight. I would rather not think it's just me. Has anyone had Lapband surgery and gone on to date and find a partner? Did you share right away that you'd had lapband surgery, or wait until you were comfortably into the relationship? Does it even matter? I tend to look at possibilities pretty far ahead, more like prematurely. I could have asked this in the forum for all age but dating seems to become harder as we get older, if I'm not mistaken. We're closer to retirement. There are more health issues to take into consideration. Some men also prefer to date younger women. While I don't plan on competing with 40 and 50 year olds, I hope there are men looking for women close to their own age. Bonnie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vstall6046 8 Posted September 1, 2012 This may seem like a strange question at this age. I've been divorced for about 8 years and I would like to find someone to share my next 20 years. I've dated a few times but most single men' date=' no matter their age, are looking for women who are not obese. I'm assuming my dates didn't work out because of my weight. I would rather not think it's just me. Has anyone had Lapband surgery and gone on to date and find a partner? Did you share right away that you'd had lapband surgery, or wait until you were comfortably into the relationship? Does it even matter? I tend to look at possibilities pretty far ahead, more like prematurely. I could have asked this in the forum for all age but dating seems to become harder as we get older, if I'm not mistaken. We're closer to retirement. There are more health issues to take into consideration. Some men also prefer to date younger women. While I don't plan on competing with 40 and 50 year olds, I hope there are men looking for women close to their own age. Bonnie [/quote'] Hi Bonnie, I too have been thinking on the same line but have not met any one as of yet. So i just wanted to let you know I am thinking on the same lines and your questions are interesting so I will follow this thread too see how this plays out thanks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bjc1227 64 Posted September 1, 2012 Vstall, it's good to know I'm not alone out here. I have belonged to several dating sites over the years. I don't know that one is better than the other. Often you see the same men on several sites. Right now I am talking with a man who is 51, and has lost over 100 lbs., with another 80 lbs. to go. He understands the issues. I expect we'll meet in about a month, but there are no guarantees. He is very nice but things don't always work out, plus he is very long-distance. Let's try to keep up on this. You can count on me to encourage unless I think you're doing something that's bad for you. Good luck. 1 Angelizz10 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marfar7 1,533 Posted September 1, 2012 I met my now-husband almost 2 yrs ago, after I had lost about 80 of my 105 lbs from the lapband. I started dating (I was widowed at 40) when I'd lost about 50 lbs. I told my now-husband about my lapband on our first date (coffee in a restaurant). He had recently also lost 80 lbs on low carb diet and I was proud that I had lost 80 lbs also. When we became intimate, I showed him where my port was - now he calls it my "contraption". He was very good when I told him about my surgery. He's very supportive and proud of my accomplishment. I'm not 60 (I'm now 45), but I think dating is dating, no matter how old you are. Now, I felt really comfy with my now-husband to tell him on our first date. Most of my dates I didn't tell them the first time. If I ate a meal with them, I usually told them. I've never had a bad reaction from telling anyone. Good luck to you! Happy dating! Marci PS: I met my husband on Plenty of Fish (the free dating site!). I paid $250 for a year of EHarmony and never met anyone. Paid $130 for 6 months of Match.com and had coffee with 2 men. Went on Plenty of Fish and had many dates! You might try it. It's a large site Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bjc1227 64 Posted September 2, 2012 Thanks for your response Marci. That is a wonderful story. You found a good man. Thank you for sharing. I did have a couple dates from Plenty of Fish. They were nice people. I paid for eHarmony for at least a year and never had a date. I had a couple dates from Match. I have taken breaks here and there, but I keep looking. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bjc1227 64 Posted September 2, 2012 Marci, you also look great. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marfar7 1,533 Posted September 2, 2012 Thanks! Always so nice to hear! Marci Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vstall6046 8 Posted September 2, 2012 Vstall' date=' it's good to know I'm not alone out here. I have belonged to several dating sites over the years. I don't know that one is better than the other. Often you see the same men on several sites. Right now I am talking with a man who is 51, and has lost over 100 lbs., with another 80 lbs. to go. He understands the issues. I expect we'll meet in about a month, but there are no guarantees. He is very nice but things don't always work out, plus he is very long-distance. Let's try to keep up on this. You can count on me to encourage unless I think you're doing something that's bad for you. Good luck.[/quote'] Yes, lets keep this going I also tried EHarmony with nothing. So I will look at Plenty of Fish thank you for response Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vstall6046 8 Posted September 2, 2012 I met my now-husband almost 2 yrs ago' date=' after I had lost about 80 of my 105 lbs from the lapband. I started dating (I was widowed at 40) when I'd lost about 50 lbs. I told my now-husband about my lapband on our first date (coffee in a restaurant). He had recently also lost 80 lbs on low carb diet and I was proud that I had lost 80 lbs also. When we became intimate, I showed him where my port was - now he calls it my "contraption". He was very good when I told him about my surgery. He's very supportive and proud of my accomplishment. I'm not 60 (I'm now 45), but I think dating is dating, no matter how old you are. Now, I felt really comfy with my now-husband to tell him on our first date. Most of my dates I didn't tell them the first time. If I ate a meal with them, I usually told them. I've never had a bad reaction from telling anyone. Good luck to you! Happy dating! Marci PS: I met my husband on Plenty of Fish (the free dating site!). I paid 250 for a year of EHarmony and never met anyone. Paid 130 for 6 months of Match.com and had coffee with 2 men. Went on Plenty of Fish and had many dates! You might try it. It's a large site[/quote'] I belonged to Eharmony myself with nothing. You are correct dating is dating I think that due to my weight I did not want to be rejected so I stayed away from really trying I guess men have to see us as great people as we are but that was not working with me. So i am going to continue to read and get the support from you'll thanks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bjc1227 64 Posted September 4, 2012 I belonged to Eharmony myself with nothing. You are correct dating is dating I think that due to my weight I did not want to be rejected so I stayed away from really trying I guess men have to see us as great people as we are but that was not working with me. So i am going to continue to read and get the support from you'll thanks Rejection is very difficult to accept, time and again. People claim not to be shallow but they're preferance in a slim partner. I reached a point of deciding it just didn't seem worth putting myself through it. The answer seems to be, since the world will not change for me, I have to change for it. 1 vstall6046 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites