dismantle my life

[PhotoNut 7]

Big warm hugs and lots of prayers for a more peaceful time in your life to replace the stressful ones you are walking through now. Hang in there kiddo.. this too shall pass.

Susan

[DonnaB 3]

Hey Crystal,

Go back and reread what everyone else said and then multiply it by ten. Or a hundred. Or a thousand! You don't have to support us all the time - let us support you for a spell. You can lean on us you know, we're pretty darned strong. You ought to know, you helped us to be that way!

Everyone's pulling for you Crystal, you relax and let us do the work for awhile.

P.S. I agree with 'gentlespirit' - tell that nurse you want to speak with the doctor.

[Dody 0]

I'm looking forward to leaving Idaho and going to Tennessee for a few mo. or more. I despise this place and have ever since I ended up here years ago in the Air Force. I've been stuck in one spot and when my son-in-law finishes up college (he designs video games) and also works as a nurse, and they move probably to Seattle I'm right with them.

What I'm sorry about is that you are giving up school, but I know you haven't been feeling well. I hope things get better for you, but leaving Idaho can't be a bad thing. It is nothing but desert except for the northern part and Pokey town isn't in the north. I like it better up around Moscow and places like that.

Good luck to you and I hope things turn out well for you. Wish I was waving goodbye permanently to Idaho...it so sucks, and Tennessee is so gorgeous. My daughters house is in the middle of tall pine trees and deer come right up in the back yard to the salt lick. The mountains they rave about in Idaho are a 40 mi. drive and I don't find them spectacular at all.....Take care.

[HarleyNana 10]

WOW, I've got goose bumps from reading all the love and support being sent your way. The band may have let you down, but you're really blessed by the love being shown here. Hey, I think I'm a little jealous!

[Mvpo8961 1]

VQ I know you know this but I am going to say it anyway. When one door shuts another will open. Right now things may look bleak but in a while you WILL see the blessing in this dark time. I have only posted here for a short time (been reading for a lot longer) and you have a galaxy of shoulders to lean and cry on if needed. We are here for you. M:grouphug:

[DeLarla 22]

F the phone. Walk into the docs office. If I were closer, I'd do it for you. I'm sorry I've been gone, but why are you packing your apartment? Are you coming to live with me? I'll let you paint

[vinesqueen 2]

Thank you everyone. I don't know if y'all know how much this board really means to me. I was raised by wolves, so this sort of support is strange and a little scary for me.

I'm not giving up on school completely, I just need to take a short break. I find lately that words are difficult for me, what I mean to say does not come out of my mouth. The words that flow from my fingers feel like they make more sense, if only to me.

I can't just go to his office because I'm here in Idaho, the garden spot known as Pokey, just like the jail. funny that....

I need to pack up my apartment Lisa, so I can move home, so I can live with my husband and son for a while. I need to not live by myself, need to live with people who love me and fill my house and home with laughter and dirty dishes. I need all my son's friends, my surigate sons and daughters.

Your wonderful responses made me cry, but all in a good way.

I have days where I'm completely freaked by this cushing's thing. Freaked that I might have it, freaked that I don't, freaked that it is something possibly worse, freaked that I'm a freak. My Endo thinks that I might have a masculinizing tumor, just what every woman wants to hear.

It is just so hard to be me right now.

I don't feel that the band has let me down. Not any more. I am actually thankful I got the band because if I had gotten anything else, I would be in worse shape than before. I know in my heart that if I hadn't been banded, they wouldn't have ever found this. I know I have a long journey ahead of me, harder than most have chosen for this life. But if I hadn't been banded, my life would have been considerably shorter, and as it is, it's only Short by marriage , as it should be.

There will be no problem with my scholarship if I put off school for a year, I've already cleared that. No worries there.

[leatha_g 4]

Big hugs and God bless, Vines. I've been right where you are, waiting for a diagnosis. It's tough and our minds sure get the best of us. I think it's a wise thing to just take care of YOU for now and surround yourself with your family. Things like this take the wind our of your sails, but you're a strong woman, you will overcome it and it will make you stronger. Please seek help if you feel the depression overwhelming you...

[banded_for_life 2]

Big Squishy Hugs to you Crystal...everybody has already said all the good stuff...so I will just send you lots of healing light and silent support! I know how much having your family around you helps during times of need...so go home and embrace those mens...i know you will find your answers and peace.

[the best me 6]

There will be no problem with my scholarship if I put off school for a year, I've already cleared that. No worries there.

Excellent news. Now get to packing. I wish I could help you haul boxes!!!!

[LilAngel 0]

Vines,

Don't worry about us for a change, just worry about you. Practically impossible for you, I am sure, but give it a whirl anyway.

Just go home relax and be loved. Just don't forget to pop in and let us know how you are doing because WE WILL be thinking about you!

big hugs

[queenbeeoffour 0]

Isn't the doctor in Seattle?! I'm in Bothell - I could picket outside of his office. Maybe I could rally a few of the Seattle college kids to join me. They always love a good protest!

I'm sorry to hear of what you have been through. For my own selfish reasons, I hope to get a chance to meet you. I know you met up with a few of the gals from the Seattle area a while ago. We'll have to plan something when you get settled!

I think you are making a great move to come home to family. A change of scenery will do you good. It's almost time for the Tulip Festival!!!

Best wishes for safe travel back to Seattle.

[vinesqueen 2]

I really needed to read all your kind words again. They are such a comfort for me right now.

I can't rmember the name of the lab I had the work done at, the clinic won't return my calls, and yp.yahoo.com can't help with directions like " the lab next to the dr.s office" especially when it is in the neighborbood of lots of labs and doctors' offices.

I still don't have any test results, they still haven't come in the mail. Any mail. I have resigned myself to not getting any word until the middle of next week, since I'll be driving most of Sunday and Monday.

LaReine, I had to laugh about the tulips. I lived up in Skagit county for several years and never made it once to the festival, but I sure went before and after to have the fields to myself. This year was the first time since I've been away that I got home in time to see all my crocus bulbs in the lawn. I obviously need to plant many more bulbs.

[paula 4]

You know what Crys., there's a reason that all of this is happening.

The band/no weightloss, possible heath concerns, cant get any answers, moving back home....

...in 2 years I bet youre gonna look back and say, "Ah-ha! NOW I know why all of that happened!"

I bet hubby and son are thrilled in having mom home for a while!

Youre pretty special. You know this right?

((hugs))

[3loves 0]

I know it can be hard sometimes to let your guard down, but that's what you need right now. Let your LBT family carry your burdens. This is an overwhelming time for you have friends here that love and care for you. Let us do it. Keep typing away and you will find the support to lift you up. We can't fix the problem, but we sure can be there for you.

Also, I don't know where you stand with God, but He has always promised to never give us anything more than we can handle. I know the times I feel the lowest are the times I lean on Him the most.....turn your eyes to Him and you will find peace.

Click here to listen to a song that is very personal to me:

http://www.wrensworld.com/anchor.htm

The first verse says,

I have journeyed through

The long dark night,

Out on the open sea,

Sight Unknown,

And yet His eyes are watching me.

The anchor holds.

Keep posting....we need you as much as you need us.