Tried to Talk Me out of the Band

[GeezerSue 7]

There is a LOT of information here and I'm sure I'll miss a few things I wanted to address, but:

•"Failing" at the band--The definitions of success varies widely. Some studies are saying that the band delivers about a 51% ewl, some say 62%. (And, btw, the DS is closer to 75%.) We each have to decide what WE consider success. I don't have to get down to 128 pounds to be happy--which is good because I haven't weighed that since 1959--but maybe someone else does. If losing 50-62% of excess weight isn't going to feel like success to YOU, then chances are pretty good that YOU might consider the band a failure.

•"Mixed Meetings"--I think that there ought to be a social time--to support and learn--and then each group ought to go off on its own. The leaders should be supportive of all the procedures.

•"Carbon Filters"--Because of all the scare stories, I bought some. (My husband probably thought I needed them YEARS ago.) I haven't used them yet and no one has suggested that I do. I had no idea this applied to RnY people; I thought it was just a DS thing.

•"The band is safer"--Well, yes and no. There are several takes on this. The band surgery is safer to be sure. But morbid obesity is not safe and if the band does not take someone out of morbid obesity, then the banded patient is not going to have a lower mortality rate than any other MO person.

•"Nice, slow weight loss"--My orthopedic surgeon is pleased as punch, because the rapid weight loss has rapidly reduced my chances of having knee surgery fron the damage the excess weight has done. I'm STILL supposed to avoid stairs...but 25 pounds from now, I can climb those puppies again.

•"My Aunt Jane's Uncle's neighbor's horse"--There are hundreds of thousands of RnY patients who are doing fine. We shouldn't have to dwell on those who are not doing fine to justify our choice. If the overwhelming majority of RnY patients were NOT doing fine, no insurance would pay for the surgery. (I still don't WANT the RnY...but I can find reasons why the DS is better for me and I don't have to mention anything I consider negative about the bypass.)

•"Who-Has-What-Problem"-Last year, several dozen of us--band, RnY and DS--got together for a few days in Chicago. Since then, some of us have gathered in local groups and on a Las Vegas thing. Here's what I have observed:

Nobody shat upon herself or others.

Nobody had room-clearing farts.

Most people who drank seemed to get drunk pretty fast.

RnY people (in general) tasted stuff to see if it was too sweet, but ate most stuff.

Bandsters (in general) had to avoid pastas and bread-y stuff.

The restrooms were NOT full of barfing/dumping people.

The DS'ers were the thinnest and ate everything, the RnY people were the next thinnest group and the bandsters--many of whom had lost a lot of weight as individuals--were (in general) NOT the thinnest group of people there.

•"Disgusting bodily functions"--While banded, I produced the biggest, gloppiest, most viscous balls of goobered-up-slime...beyond what anyone could imagine. I'd make it out to the parking lot and have to spit that crap up. My husband had to pull the car over near bushes so I could barf it up without doing it in the middle of the street. And, I know I'm old and this is TMI for some, but my port was at the sternum and was in the way for some of my bedroom antics. And my reflux/bile/garbage in the throat thing was also a huge turn off for me as far as adult activities. I'm just saying, things are easier since my DS.

•"Older bypass surgeries"--Those long-ago surgeries may have been a totally different surgery than they are doing today.

The band may just be the very best thing that has ever happened to you. It may not. It is probably wisest to NOT put-down those who have chosen another path without REALLY researching that option...you never know when your own journey may just need an alternate route.

I know there are those who say they would NEVER go with anything but the band. Their choice. MY choice is to NEVER be MO again...whatever road I must travel to get there.

[Elisabethsew 50]

I am new here and am sorry to hear that you feel discriminated against for choosing to have a bypass gastric surgery. I was banded on 3/30/06 and work full time as a registered nurse. Because of the prejudice towards fat people that I have lived with my entire life, I chose not to tell my family or co-workers about my surgery. Only 2 people know and that's the way it will remain.

Because of my decision not to reveal my surgery to friends and family, I sought out this site for support. My choice to go with lapband surgery was based on my own research and my medical history. That said, I could tell you all horror stories of people who had bypass gastric surgery as well as those who had lapband surgery. I work in intensive care and that's where these poor people end up.

Rather than discuss horror stories, I prefer to dwell on successes. Everyone posting here is healthy and has chosen a surgical intervention to assist in reaching optimal health. Let's be thankful that we're alive and well and just support one another in the common goal of getting rid of the excess weight. Many roads lead to the same destination and what's most important is not the road but finding our way safety to the destination.

Just my thoughts as I approach my one week post-op date.

[3loves 0]

Last night I attended my final group session required for insurance. This group was the smallest with 15 people. It was the best yet b/c more Q & A was possible. Once again, I was welcomed with open arms and never judged for my decision to get the band. I even thanked everyone for being so supportive & told them of some horror stories of bandsters being treated poorly. I can't say enough about the willingness of people to listen and help with the few questions I had. Now that I've fulfilled insurance requirements, I know this will be my real home for support.

Elisabethsew ~ Hi there and welcome! Congratulations on your band. :clap2: I am preband and waiting on insurance. It will be nice to have your experience and insight. You made a good in point in saying it's not the road, but the destination.

GeezerSue ~ I agree...very well said!! I wished they did offer mixed meetings here, but so far after attending 3 support groups at various locations through St Vincent's, I have been the only person choosing the band. I wonder if there are not many out there or if they just don't attend meetings. O.K., this will probably sound stupid, but do they really have carbon filters? You made it sound so true. Interesting. :guess

[Sarah.R 2]

What I want to know is where do they find the "leaders" for these groups? Do they just pick someone that's had the gastric bypass or rny for the longest period of time and think they know everything? Of course everyone is bias you ask the lap banders which is the better wls of course there going to say the lap band, same for the gastric bypass, ds, rny and whatever other method there is out there. But if you also talk to the gastric bypass patients you'll see that alot of them actually come across lazy in the fact that the reason they don't consider the lap band is mainly because they don't want to see a doctor regularly and maintain the fills. Also the fact that you loose 100lbs in 3 months is definitely appealing but I'd rather loose 100lbs slowly over a year or so and know that I did it the right way rather than basically starve myself and have half of my stomach cut away

[kgloverii 0]

I truly believe a lot of patients also feel more 'superior' because their doctor sold it to them that way. My follow-up doc who does my fills has been uber helpful, but he is VERY pro-bypass or sleeve. He sees faster weight loss and has more experience with it. PLUS, his patients get closer to goal, according to him. BUT, they are not me... and it all depends on your personal goal. I mean, I was 235, and now I am in the 170's. I wear a size 12. I look and feel NORMAL. I don't have head hunger issues anymore. I am going to get every last pound of me that I can, BUT I know that it may not be likely that I get to 130 or 140, like I'd like. Am I disappointed? GOD NO? Do I have second thoughts? Not even for a split second. I can walk down the beach in a bathing suit and not be totally mortified. I can show my kids healthy eating habits, and more than anything, my obsession and fixation with food is GONE.

[bklyn1984 0]

What I want to know is where do they find the "leaders" for these groups? Do they just pick someone that's had the gastric bypass or rny for the longest period of time and think they know everything? Of course everyone is bias you ask the lap banders which is the better wls of course there going to say the lap band, same for the gastric bypass, ds, rny and whatever other method there is out there. But if you also talk to the gastric bypass patients you'll see that alot of them actually come across lazy in the fact that the reason they don't consider the lap band is mainly because they don't want to see a doctor regularly and maintain the fills. Also the fact that you loose 100lbs in 3 months is definitely appealing but I'd rather loose 100lbs slowly over a year or so and know that I did it the right way rather than basically starve myself and have half of my stomach cut away

My support group is run by a behavioral therapist who fully supports WLS 100%. She does not side with one or the other she believes it's what is best for each individual. Ironically enough my group has a very high percentage of lap band group members. A member tried to talk me into RNY and I told her personally it's not for me and not to take it personally. I told her thanks but I would not judge her so do not do the same to me. She does not talk to me anymore but that's okay I am not there to make friends. If I do I will count that as a blessing. I am in no rush I plan on living a very long healthy life.