Help Please!!

[Jim1967 3,569]

And I really think I'm better off limiting who I tell. Not that I feel like I'm going to fail, but since most people aren't very educated on the WLS subject they have unrealistic expectations of it. Like when they automatically assume its the "easy way out" and people don't put forth any effort in losing the weight.

Exactly!! I worry about failing myself but now I also have that added feeling that everyone knows I had the surgery. I don't want to be known as the fat guy who couldn't even lose weight with WLS...

Edit: Maybe I do care to some degree a little bit about what others think. What worries me the most is failing....myself

Edited August 20, 2012 by Jim1967

[Andwhatrea 15]

Miranda3645: it's kind of surprising to hear people who are also overweight saying, "just diet and exercise" because you'd think they would understand how difficult it really is. But I'm glad they got on board when they saw how much it was affecting you.

My immediate family which is my mom and two brothers are very supportive because they've seen how hard I've worked at losing the weight on my own with little to no success. And I remember about 2 years back my mom was talking to one of my aunts about it (because they're very opinionated about my weight) and my mom mentioned the possibly of WLS... Needless to say my aunt when crazy because she thought it was the worst idea ever and I was just being lazy.

I guess I can see myself telling friends or coworkers in the future but definitely not family like aunts or cousins... Isn't that sort or of ironic???

[sam3841 57]

I was 21when I got the lapband. At first I only told my mom and grandma. Then I told some of my friends. They were all really supportive just worried about the surgery itself. I was worried that they would judge me, but they all just wanted me to be healthy and happy. Somethings I noticed was it was my fat friends who gave me the biggest problems but I think they were jealous in the end. I still haven't told my dad thought and I don't know how he hasn't figured it out especially since I am living with my parents again. Just remember you can't untell someone and if you don't want to tell someone abd they ask what you are doing to mode the weight say diet and exercise, its true!

[jschulgs 14]

I am almost 22 and have only told my immediate family. If I were you I wouldn't tell anyone else and just say diet and exercise because that really is what you're doing! You just have a sneaky tool to help you! This is for yourself it's no one else's business. If I told my friends they'd be like "OMG YOU'RE NOT FAT" "why did you do that I would have worked out with you....." blah blah blah!!! It's better if you keep it to yourself!

[Andwhatrea 15]

I honestly thought I was the only one who worried about this subject.. Thanks for the advice everyone!!

[sharonk 23]

Just on the side of telling people- i get tired of explaining what it is and what it is about....its like i constantly have to repeat myself and it gets annoying. I have told most people close to me....only a few at work.

[Andwhatrea 15]

Just on the side of telling people- i get tired of explaining what it is and what it is about....its like i constantly have to repeat myself and it gets annoying. I have told most people close to me....only a few at work.

That's got to be annoying...

[deckerr888 4]

I was 23 when I was banded. I had been going through the process for a year and up to about a week before my surgery only my parents and two very close friends knew about my surgery. It was not a decision made lightly and I didn't want everyone else's opinion, good or bad, to be in my choice. The week before the surgery I told my siblings and grandparents. Some were supportive, some not. Even six months after, only another 5 people know about my surgery. I didn't want my surgery to be what defined me so I decided to just not mention it.

I am very happy I decided to keep it quiet because when I was on the different diet stages it was nice to have other parts of my life which went on normally dispite my wierd eating pattern. It was helpful for me to have people who just treated me normally without thinking about my surgery. I am grateful for the people around me who have been supportive. I made sure to tell people who would be great and they have been. I am very happy I still haven't said anything to most of the people around me. I am sure someday I might have to but for now I know have made the right decision.

[Ladybandito 516]

I was banded in January of this year and the only one who knew was my husband. A few months ago I told one very good friend, and to date that's it. Like someone else on here said, you can't un-tell someone so it's easier to share as you see fit over time. I had thought that everyone would be able to tell by my eating habits, but you know... No one really pays as much attention as we think they do! :-)

[Andwhatrea 15]

Something I've noticed from speaking to people who have been banded for years is that the more time progressed, the more comfortable they felt telling people about the surgery because they didn't have to worry so much at the criticism if it didn't work. Meaning, since they were on their way to their goal, they stopped fearing people's judgements. Hopefully this happens to me!

[whitneymalae 69]

I know exactly what you're talking about! I am going through the process of getting banded in the near future and am already thinking about how to go about telling or not telling people around me. I am 20 yrs old and I think that people closer to our age are in general more judgmental than those that are older. I am by far the biggest in my group of "going out" friends and I feel like if I said "oh I got lap band" they would judge and think I took the easy way. It's not like I'm getting liposuction or something, it's hard work! Ive decided if people ask I will just say I made a commitment to eat less and workout more, which is true. I have told my family and a few close friends, and if flat out asked "did you have wls?" i wouldn't lie but im not just going to throw it out there on my own. A lot of people don't understand that Lap band is a tool and not a fix. It's much easier to dig a hole with a shovel rather than with your hands and lap band is a great shovel.

[Theboysmom 69]

Hello everyone, I'm new to this site and have not been banded yet. I have my surgery set for September 28 but besides the normal pre-op anxiety I'm also dealing with another huge worry. I'm 22 years old and besides my immediate family, no one else knows about my banding. It's really difficult to come to terms about telling people around me like friends or coworkers. I feel like people might not be as supportive or be as happy for me as I would want them to be. Has anyone else been through this? How did you deal with it?

Girl I understand where you are coming from! I too have very concerned about people...and decided to only tell my close family and the man that I was dating of course! And still there are people that dont have a clue that I had anything done! To me if people around you arent supportive then you DO NOT NEED them in your life! People pass judgement no matter what we do..Thin fat tall short...People can be just plain mean! Do it for yourself and health! You are coming upon a beautiful journey and a brand new life! Dont worry what others think...Think positive!

best of luck!

[LLCoolNoe 25]

I may as well have taken an ad in the paper! I told everybody I know, made no secret of it at work, and even posted it on my Facebook. Everybody I know has been very supportive. They do ask a ton of questions, but I'm an attention-***** so I don't mind the questions. Plus, since this is such a huge part of my life, I love talking about it anyway

[kayla.mcclaskey 0]

Serious question- I've had my band for 4 years- lost bout 85/90 lbs then I learned to "eat around the band and over ate- there's no slippage but now I'm gaining weight back- how do I shrink my stomach again?

[Andwhatrea 15]

I may as well have taken an ad in the paper! I told everybody I know' date=' made no secret of it at work, and even posted it on my Facebook. Everybody I know has been very supportive. They do ask a ton of questions, but I'm an attention-***** so I don't mind the questions. Plus, since this is such a huge part of my life, I love talking about it anyway [/quote']

LMAO! This is too funny.. I'm generally reserved and shy so I definitely would not do it this way, but more power to ya!