How stupid am I?

Midnightwitc6 · March 20, 2006

My very first thread all, I'm so excited!

Where I work there are 3 people I work with that have had the banding, and all have had amazing success. Seeing this success a friend of mine and myself decided to get the banding for ourselves. We started a Lap-Band mini support group of our own and things are going well. I mention this, because you all need to know that I had NO choice on whether or not to mention my lap-band procedure to the 130 plus women I work with. My lap-band procedure even made into the news-letter!

Today was my first day back after the surgery. From pre-banding till now I have lost 30 pounds. Great one would say?! So why the heck am I freaking out!? Who would have thought that 130 or so comments on my surgery would have been so overwhelming? All the, "wow I really see the weight loss in your face" or the "How do you feel?" Instead of taking these, what I am assuming are compliments, I'm thinking.."Well, what the hell did my face freakin look like before??!!" Eeegads! Or..." I feel fine now, I felt fine 30 pounds ago too, did I just get over radiation or something?!"

I have never been great at compliments, and yes I am lucky enough to get them from time to time, but I dont know how to handle all this. I had this surgery because I was tired or being in pain, after back surgery I thought this was a good idea. But I just might implode if I go out to a bar and men start looking...holy moley!

Of course, everyone knowing about the banding puts incredible pressure on me to actually loose. I think if someone see's me walking around with a cookie I might get lynched. :eek: Hmmm that might be fun! hehe

Well, thanks all for listening to my mini-freak out. Dont know if this is going to make any sense for anyone but me, but I feel a bit better now.

nanster · March 21, 2006

I know EXACTLY how you feel...it's hard when everyone knows about your banding. I had taken off Friday and was supposed to be back to work Monday ("no problem" said the doc!) but I didn't follow a lo-cal diet pre-op. My withdrawals and blood sugar levels went nuts and I just couldn't function. I was weak, sweaty and shaky. I ended up having to take the next week off, so everyone pretty much found out about the surgery.

I didn't mind people knowing (I'm not ashamed of doing it), but I didn't want the pressure of everyone asking "how much have you lost so far", etc., etc.

(After all, I consider this a "last resort" since I've been unable to succeed at losing weight on my own.)

I have only been banded 4 weeks and I've only lost 14 pounds, so I'm still feeling a little timid about talking about it too much. The questions have already started and everyone seems to be under the impression that I'll just DROP pounds every day...like my bypass buddy. It's just not like that (at least for me!)

Some people thrive on the whole accountability thing...but I feel pressure and it's not productive for me. I would rather keep it quiet and see if people start noticing the difference in my face, my clothes, etc.

Hang in There. If you don't have a choice, you just face it head on...and if anyone doesn't like it-- oh well, they'll get over it (or not!!)

Nanster

Ceparano · March 22, 2006

nightwich6: I understand how you feel. But look at the flip side. You'll have so much support when your feeling low or have questions. Also , with so many "eyes" on you it will keep you honest. No chance of breaking the bandster rules while at work and getting your hand caught in the cookie jar so to speak.:nervous Also, you've done great on your weight loss so far. I think you, like myself, have a hard time accepting compliments and over think everything. Keep up the good work and chill!!!

Roberta

Nanster: Just tell people that you can tell by the way your clothes are fitting that you've loss weight but that your not hitting the scale for a couple of months, and thank them for their interest. After all, as women we all know how the scale can lie. If anyone keeps pushing for exactly how much you've lost, then I'd say they're asking to be told off. That is IMHO.

vinesqueen · March 22, 2006

Gina, this issue you are facing is pretty common. One of the skills we generally don't learn is how to take compliments graciously. And you have been given the opportunity to learn this skill in spades! I know it is uncomfortable at first, but you must smile, and say thank you. You are being forced to think well of yourself, and for many of us, this is a very difficult thing. How can we accept the esteem of others if we do not hold ourselves in high reguard?

One trick that you might try is to complement 3 people every day. They might be co-workers, strangers, your family members or your fellow commuters. Give an honest compliement, but start small. Admire a hair cut or color, comment on a hand bag or shoes you think are great. Do this for a few weeks and you will be AMAZED at the results you get.

Giving compliments makes it easier to accept the complements from others, even strangers. And you will be getting more and more complements.

It is odd that the more weight we have the more invisible we are. As we lose that weight and bulk, we become more visible for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we gain more confidence in ourselves after we lose weight, and confidence attracts confidence. We've spoken about that on several threads, do some digging and see if you can come up with some threads to bump.

Your choices are to learn to accpet the complements and attention, or gain back the weight so you are invisible again.

mrycrltn · March 22, 2006

Vines,

Once again, you are awesome on your answers. I love it!!!!!!!!!

gentlespirit · March 22, 2006

Crystal~

You are such a wise woman...your posts are always so insightful and thought provoking. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

Emily

Midnightwitc6 · March 22, 2006

Thank you all for your advice and you are all right. Today I was actually extremely grateful for the support I have from the people at work. I tried eating a hard boiled egg for Breakfast, and well it got stuck. Everyone was awesome about it, with me pacing back and forth with nice hot flashes. Took FOREVER but it finally went down. All this before my first fill! Cant wait till I get one. lol

Someday I will be able to except compliments, and I will start giving more. I liked that advice. But as someone who is stopped on the street by strangers who want to draw my face, or photograph me, I was never invisible, and yes thats with the weight. Yes I find that strange too! hehe

vinesqueen · March 23, 2006

But I just might implode if I go out to a bar and men start looking...holy moley!

But my dear, you have been feeling invisbile, at least to the available male population.

I don't think it is strange at all that you would be stopped to caputure your likeness, our weight has no bearing on our beauty. If we are beautiful at 400 pounds, then we will be beautiful at 300, 200 or somewhere in the 100s.

And if you get that sort of attention now, you will only garner more attention as you become less invisible to the greater population.