Off topic, but need support - Depression

MeganA · March 21, 2006

Mental health is a very individual thing. I only know my story, so let me share a bit of it.

After I had my lapband placed, I went through a big, deep, sad, dark depression. I felt like my life wasn't my own- that I'd been making choices not because of what *I* wanted but because they were what others wanted- and therefore safe. I felt like life was meaningless with out my drug of choice- food- to get me through. I didn't understand what I was feeling. It felt like things hurt me more than they did before. I remember thinking one time that it felt like I had fresh new skin, and that everything that came near it made it sting. Of course, my fresh new skin was an emotional one, not a physical one.

Slowly, with the help of my counselor, a little ray of light started to show in my world. I got angry. I got angry at my friends and family and myself. But depression, I learned, is Anger Turned Inward...and I soon learned that it was ok to be angry and to demand that the world treat me better. Soon I was treating me better, as well.

On my journey through depression, I had to learn to listen to the tapes that played in my head about how I felt about myself and my choices. I had to reprogram them and re-record new tapes so that I could heal and move forward.

For me, being at overweight was like standing still for years and years. I couldn't move forward or backward. Babysteps and lots of patience with myself created momentum and here I am today, a happy, mentally healthy, stable, self-sufficient adult with goals and dreams and a LIFE!

I spent a long time being angry at myself for "letting myself go" not only with my weight but my life. Once I looked that anger in the face and said "NO MORE!" I was free.

Megan

Kryssa · March 21, 2006

I had postpartum after both pregnancies and took medicine both times. I had been off it for 3 years when I had my surgery. 8 weeks later I was back at my PCP's office because I was becoming non-functional: i.e. wanting to stay in the bed and cry all day. She (and my surgeon) both think it is because I can't self-medicate with food anymore. Carbs=serotonin...it's a proven fact. I'm on Wellbutrin now and I'm better. Not great but better. Go see the doc and don't buy into all that crap about taking medicine being a bad thing.

Marimaru · March 22, 2006

Must be something in the air. Depression runs rampid in my family. I've been on paxil before, but I don't really want to go on it again. I'd go to my doctor, and she'd probably give me welbutrin, but I'm trying to find a new doctor, because I don't feel my current doctor has interest in anything but running a factory type facility (which is a new thing, she's been my doc for years).

I got into an arguement with my mom a couple of weeks ago, and I still cry nearly every time I talk to her, even if it's a happy conversation, the tears just start rolling. I need counceling also, but I hate hate HATE going through the process of finding a good councelor.

It's odd though. The first time I went onto Paxil I was just angry, all the time, and the smallest thing set me off. This time, I'm just sad all the time.

Let us know what your doc says.