Boyfriend Totally Against Me Getting Lap Band

[a1990 55]

My boyfriend and I fight over this surgery he calls it my stupid surgery he think I am crazy for even wanting it done. I try to tell him how unhappy I am about myself he said.it does not bother him that I look just fine , but I think differnt I have no confident and I'm so unhappy he just don't understand and.it really hurts me.and my feeling , do you think I'm being mean about it , FYI I do appreciate he like me for who I am

[Maddysgram 6,159]

It's not about how you look, it's about your health.

Maybe he's a little insecure about you looking better and dumping him???

I've read been married 40 yrs a dear husband loves me no matter what, but he wants what makes me happy.

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Forgiven phone thinking it knows what I should write

[a1990 55]

Well that what I've tired to tell him I mean I don't even.want.to go do anything It seems.like I stay sick all the.time I get.out of breath easy I'm very very unhealthy

[jen_1381 446]

Bottom line is, it's your decision. While his support would be appreciated, you are the one in charge of your own body.

My husband wasn't amped about surgery when I brought it up. "You look fine, I'll love you no matter what you look like". I had to sit him down (okay, I was crying one night in the bath tub...) and just tell him, I'm not comfortable in my own skin and this is not how I want to live my life. I appreciate that he loves me no matter what I look like, but I didn't love me. The more we talked, the more it became clear that he was hesitant because he was insecure. He thought I would lose the weight, find a new guy, and move on. I assured him that this process was not about getting in shape to find someone new, and pointed out it wasn't really fair for him to be against me getting fit just because he thinks I will leave.

I went to the semiar and after a day or so made my decision that this surgery was necessary for me to be successful. I told him my decision, and that he could support me or not, and he stepped up and has been there for the entire process. He's my biggest cheerleader and my shoulder to cry on after a hard day.

Maybe (calmly) talk to your bf and get his reasons. Remember, his reasons are valid to him no matter how silly you think they may be. Hear him out, and be prepared with your reasons.

[Maddysgram 6,159]

I'm 56yrs old. I need both knees replaced. I can't do anything. I know what you're saying.

This is the year I've decided is about me. I've raised my kids, worked hard for everyone I care about, but now it's about what I need.

I've become obsessed with butterflies just recently. Just built a butterfly garden even

the It just dawned on me today, it's because I have been the cattapiller(sp?), just going along in life. Now it's time for me to become a beautiful butterfly. It's a my time!!!

[MiriamE 19]

My husband was a bit hesitant about it, but I also had a heart to heart with him about me and my feelings. I told him that I wanted to do this mainly for me because I was tired of being tired, sick, everything hurting. I was tired that he had to wait for me everytime we went anywhere walking, I was tired of him dropping me off at the front door and picking me up. I think what also made up his mind about supporting me was that I told him I wanted to be healthier for me and for him and our marriage.

If you decide on doing this, remember you are doing it for you and your health and remind him you feeling more confident and healther would be a big BONUS for him!

Good luck with your decision!

[a1990 55]

That's me I'm 25 and I feel way older I hurt.I don't.want.to do anything my knees hurt.my whole body hurts, I have sit him down and talk to him about all that different stuff and its like he.really don't.understand but in the end I'm doing it no matter what I have to do or do by myself

[Maddysgram 6,159]

We're here for you a1990!!!!

Do your homework. Find out whats involved with Lapband. It's not a miracle weight loss program, it's a tool.

Good Luck!

[MiriamE 19]

i have a suggestion, before you have the heart to heart talk tell him you want him and yourself to make a list of the pro and cons of your current weight, then set up a night and show each other that list and go down each one of them and talk about them. If he doesn't want to then do it for yourself. I did that and it really helped me make the choice.

[♕ajtexas♕ 3,771]

a1990,

When I decided to get the band my parents where very much against it. After talking with them trying to convince them that I needed and wanted this I realized that the biggest problem was they didn't know anything about the band. My doctor had given me Dr. O'Brien's book about the lap-band so I asked my parents to read it and they did. Well I think my dad read the book and told my mom about it. He then when on the internet researching the procedure for himself. Once they had an understanding everything changed and they where behind me 100%. What I am trying to say is most people are against things they know little about, its safer that way. I would recommend trying to give your boyfriend as much information about the band as you can. If you have any books on it ask him to read them (not the whole book cover to cover, but pick out important chapters). I got Dr. O'Brien's book through my doctor (True Results) its good but a better choice is Jean McMillan's book Bandwagon. It is awesome. Every lap-band patient should have a copy. It would help both you and your boyfriend. You can order the book through the link at the bottom of this site, Jean is often on here too.

Anyway, don't mean to ramble on but education is bliss and just might resolve things for you and your boyfriend. Either way do this for you. We will support you all the way.

[a1990 55]

Thanks everyone I can't wait to start my process

[Sombra1718 55]

Boyfriends can come and go. I would imagine that if you didn't get your surgery and something happened and you broke up with him you would possibly regret not getting the surgery because he didn't want you to. It would be a huge setback.

[a1990 55]

Sombra that is very true but just wish he was for me doing it and would support me

[a1990 55]

Well I went for my lap band appointment today and everything went great my ins did not require anything from me they said I should be having surgery the end of next month I'm pretty excited