Just Want To Cry....vent Session Sorry!

[Price5 1]

As a lot of people here my weight as ALWAYS been an issue for me. I am at a raw emotional state right now that I can't take on this weight anymore! I am going thru the approval process for the 2nd time (first time didn't fully qualify weight/co-morbidies so the Dr. office wouldn't file for the pre-approval.) My weight is spiraling out of control. I'm not happy, kids driving me nuts, they need to go back to school and I have a husband that says he understands and is just trying to support me in this but just keeps throwing it in my face that I can do it on my own and have before and that getting this band is not going to be a miracle!

1) I know this won't be a miracle it's a tool!! I said this now and before, its something to hold me to it, so when it comes off I can't say hand me the snickers and I pack it back on.

2) I've committed to exercises before and stuck to it....the difference I could never loose more than 30lbs so I would get discouraged, pissed and quit...it all comes back, then I'm pissed I have to start all over again.

I am tired, tried of this cycle. I just turned 29---I'm done having kids, have 3 boys. I just want to live the rest of my life in peace knowing that this time when it comes off, I have no choice but to put the right stuff in my mouth or risk horrible things happening to me and my stomach, not just having to worry about the weight coming back. I know this.

He wants to compare my life, mentally and physical challenges of this weight to his weight gain since high school! Sorry pal---this is just not weight gained like you from going super athletic to sit on your ass and still thinking you can eat whatever you want. You fully did that on your own! He doesn't get that!! Mine has always been there!! My dad use to make comments to me about my weight, like peer pressure wasn't enough, went almost an entire year only eating a sandwhich a day to loose the weight. That got me to 140 when I was 15---then meet my now husband and got pregnant with my son. Of course he would say you were small when I meet you I was freaking 15!!!! And what I did the year prior to just get to that weight was ridiculous!! Then after you add 3 pregnancies on top of that!! I'm done!

I swear I should be on that damn slimquick commercial how it's comparing the woman and man! It's true! He said I should take a hot bath after workouts helps shed the extra pounds!! Really! I proved my point to him. He did that got in weighed himself when done lost 2lbs...I gained 2lbs!!!

I am over this right now. I am doing everything again I can to get this band on!! I feel like running and hiding on a island on my own right now. I have 1 person that is truly supportive of this idea because she knows what is like, his aunt of all people. I want to be happy for once in my life! I'm tired of walking in the stores liking a shirt that would be more age appropriate and them not having my size. I want to be normal, whatever that is I don't know anymore. I just know that this is not! I'm almost at 240 an all time high when not pregnant and I don't like this!

Thanks for listening, hope I got all of this out I feel like my veins are popping out of my head right now. (Maybe I should go to the Dr to have them record a high blood pressure for today :/ to add that to my list to help me get approved!!)

[Sojourner 2,446]

Your frustrations are valid...and never doubt the therapeutic value of writing about your feelings. And for the record, it is much easier for most men to loose weight then women; their metabolism is just tuned that way.

You are wise to be motivated and proactive to gain control and loose weight at this stage of your life...it doesn't get any easier as time passes.

Many on the forum share similar frustrations, so this is a great place to vent and have a positive support system.

Best wishes for approval for your surgery...