female only Hubby Not Supportive Of Fitness Goals

[m1aman 944]

Are you her husband? Lol!

LOL, God no! My wife has more class than that.

[jrae 38]

LOL' date=' God no! My wife has more class than that.[/quote']

Awww come on now be nice. Since you are a man I know you handle emotional issues differently from a woman. As women we need to TALk TALK TALK! Even tho you may feel she is betraying her husband by complaining she is probably doing him a favor by getting support from other women on LBT. He will be none the wiser except she will seem calmer & happier and won't be bugging him so much about talking about problems. :-)

[suzbuni 32]

I agree. Sometimes easier to vent to " strangers" then to your spouse. Sometimes, having thT support and getting you thoughts together first helps you to be more understand and support to each other. I know you love you husband and hopefully you guys can work on something together. I think you need to see where it coming from. He may just be insecure and need reenforcement of your feeling for him. Couples therapy is good idea. My husband and I went a few years back and it helped get things out in open and understand we had a comuncation problem. Good luck.

[PandorasBox92264 61]

Well what you both have to also understand is that you are both on your OWN weight loss journey. You are both banded which is great! However, the bottom line it is still personal for each of you. Neither of you should dictate, push, judge or try to fix or improve what the other is doing unless it is asked for. That is just my opinion, and not trying to judge either of you.

I got the band in 2008, and filed for divorce in April 2009. My ex was not banded, but cycled and I had joined a gym to which he then also joined. He wanted to me cycle with him, but for me I had ZERO interest in it. I never bitched about him going, just said hey your into it great i was supportive but it was not my cup of tea. He started to come to the gym with me, and always had to put his two cents in. He timed me on the cardio equipment, came over to see what I was doing, everything was watched/judged which got old very quick. We got married in July 2002, and when the band came home with me and right before.. I had to deal with him going on junk food sprees when I was on liquid phase. He would even follow me in a back room to hang out while eating this stuff.

There were alot of issues, aside from the constant parts of telling me that I wasn't exercising enough, or this or that. We did end up in counseling for a brief time, but he was set in his ways and flat out told the counselor his choices were HOW he wanted to live his life. There is alot of things that go far deeper that would probably shock on this board.

It sounds like there is irritation and anger on both sides. Honestly I would talk about seeing someone to talk about what is going on, I think it might be far more than just working out or the kids bed times. Honestly, you guys might have grown apart which does happen in life and with WLS.

I would sit down and THINK both of you where this is going, what is the underlying issues. If you do not sit down and make time to talk about it or try to figure it out then most likely you will be headed to your respective lawyers. I do not mean to sound callus for either of you guys. I know quite a few people on this site that has had it happen to them, including myself. I wish you good luck, and remember you guys have the power to work on things to change them for the better and you both have to be willing and wanting to make it work. Once again I hope this doesn't come off as sounding cold, but it is a reality of life. Good luck to you guys!

[lawismylife 41]

Thanks to all for food for thought! Really helps. I spoke with hubby and told him he can go Di whatever he wants one night a week and I will put kiddies to bed. We'll see how that goes.

I will note that I posted this in the "powder room gone wild" and a man who chooses a monkey avatar is coming in here and telling me I have no class. So draw your own conclusions as to that.

[jrae 38]

Lol!

[Shoshanna 98]

I'd like to hear his side of the story. You sound like you have an attitude problem.

A gorilla for an avatar. No accident there.

[Marine mom 3]

I kind of agree with gorilla guy. I be pissed if my husband aired his irritations with me to a bunch of strangers.

And while you may be fine putting 2 1/2 year il twins to bed he probably has other skills. No reason you can't put together a kitty tower. :/. No one needs a game player to exercise...I guess that I just don't see how you expect strangers to help.

So what if he doesn't exercise. That is his business...

Why not take the whole crew in walks, or chasing fun games. Why not encourage him rather than tear him down to people? If a guy was in here ragging on his wife would the answers be the same?

[lawismylife 41]

I kind of agree with gorilla guy. I be pissed if my husband aired his irritations with me to a bunch of strangers.

And while you may be fine putting 2 1/2 year il twins to bed he probably has other skills. No reason you can't put together a kitty tower. :/. No one needs a game player to exercise...I guess that I just don't see how you expect strangers to help.

So what if he doesn't exercise. That is his business...

Why not take the whole crew in walks' date=' or chasing fun games. Why not encourage him rather than tear him down to people? If a guy was in here ragging on his wife would the answers be the same?[/quote']

Purple raider:

I am finding some people on lapband talk not very supportive at all of others. Edpecially you. That is why I have gone to other forums to have support. I don't need your unsupportive opinion flying into my mailbox. I don't understand why you would take the time to type all that out and send it to me. It wasn't a solicitation for your bashing, it was a solicitation for helpful comments which some people posted. Next time think when you shoot off your email think what the purpose of it is and what the outcome will be.

Welcome to the Internet. It's an anonymous place to vent. Now you're venting to me and it's not appreciated. At all.

[lawismylife 41]

And I am happy that some people here NEVER experience Unsupportive family members. The whole point of these forums is to have support. To bash someone for airing out their frustration over not having the support they need on an Internet forum when the point of it is for support is just ridiculous. So I am officially not soliciting comments from you and unsubscribing from this thread.

Thanks again to all those who genuinely tried to support !!!