Epiphany

[mauraclegg 29]

So I am 2 years banded and 1 year post TT.

In that time I have lost 100+ pounds (idk how many inches). Gone from a 22w to an 8/10. And yet I still struggle with my body image

I just don't see what others see or what the clothing size difference says.

Eureka!! Today a huge lightbulb (100 watt) when on above my head. My problem is the number on the scale (isn't that what brought most of us to banding). Seriously though I mean I am relating how I think I look to that number that glows at me when I step on that scale.

Has it changed - hell yes it has. 262/3 pre banding to 159 this morning. Somewhere in my brain that number tells me I am still fat! If Jennifer Anniston and Angelina Jolie are like 120 or less than I MUST still be fat. And forget when I watched Kirstie Alley on DWTS. I felt like a beast.

I never wanted to be a size 2 and I still don't want that. I would look awkward especially since I am a 36dd.

I know now I need to separate what I see from what Hollywood tells me. Heck Marilyn Monroe was a 12 and she was perfect!!

Am I a success. Yes I am and if u are trying your best and u like u than u are too

[motogrl78 1]

Very well put! I'm finding that one of the hardest things post op is dealing with the mental aspect of all of this. I went shopping with a friend a few weeks ago and was able to buy something in a non plus-size store for the first time, it was great. A week later, I went back on my own and had a panic attack. Kept thinking everyone was looking at me, wondering why I would be looking in a store like that, that i'm too big for that store. It was awful, couldn't get out of there quick enough.

But you're right, we are all successes and we all need to remember that as we battle not only through the weigh loss battle, but the mental challenges that come as a result of the hard work we've all put into this.