Anyone In This Situation?! Opinions Needed!

[Fr33B 4]

Mentally I feel like I'm dying slowly. I went to get my last test done for surgery (psych eval) and my doctor told me that I am severely depressed ( DUH!! Wy expect??!! For an overweight person to be estatic ???that their obese?NOT!!) so she's delaying my surgery until I get the help that I need. The only problem is....my insurance is up in October when I turn 23 ???¢and she wants me to get 2 months of counseling in. I dunno what to do at this point. Now I REALLY feel like I'm going crazy!!!! ???–

[mybella 35]

If you have never had counseling it is an experience that will help you. I know you need to speed this up so I would suggest to let go of the the most private thing that you have been keeping in and after a few sessions you will feel better and you try to show the counselor that you feel so much better after letting go of that subject. Be honest. The reason why they want to give you counseling because they do not want to do the surgery and then you fail because of emotional eating for unresolved issues. I have not been to counseling for over 1 year and before I left I confided in my counselor about things I never told anyone and she knew that what I need to tell her all along. Insecurity was and is holding me back because of my weight. She knew after confiding in her that things in my past was the route of my weight issues. Think about what your issues are that make you depress.

I know, I did 10 years of counseling off and on. When I told my counselor and doctor that I wanted to get surgery they knew it was a good idea because I let all my isssues out on the table and they knew my weight was holding me back from having the confidence to go forward. Try to get close appointments so you can get your surgery approved. Call your insurance company to see if you get approve before your coverage is over will they continue the services.

Good Luck

[Toddy 758]

Why is your health insurance ending at 23? If you're a dependent being covered on your parents' policy, I think you can stay on until 26. If that's not the case and it really is ending at 23, keep in mind that after being banded you have to have REGULAR maintenance on your band. It's not just a matter of fill it and go, so you need to be prepared for what maintenance will cost out of pocket. A band without maintenance is pretty useless.

As far as the depression, that really is something that needs to be worked out pre-band. A band is not a fix-all; you must be prepared to work with your band and not be an emotional eater or, once again, the band is pretty much useless. I started researching the band for my daughter, but we both realized that mentally she wasn't ready for such a commitment, but that I was, so I had the surgery instead of her. I'm hoping she'll come around one day and be ready for the surgery herself.

Good luck in your journey.

[Sojourner 2,446]

As a retired counseling professional, I can share with you that it is essential for you to deal with the issues which are contributing to your depressed mood. Though you may feel it punitive to delay your surgery, there are valid reasons for you to be in a better place emotionally prior to your surgery.

From your writing, it seems that you feel, as is one of the hallmarks of depressed mood, that you feel helpless and hopeless to regain a sense of self determination, and instead believe that others hold the power to control the direction of your life and the choices you are able to make. Those beliefs alone can create a depressed mood in some individuals.

It's a difficult situation, but if you empower yourself to begin the process of increased self determination it will help immensely with your mood. There are simple ways to begin this process...first, structure your time to increase your amount of exercise. This helps your mood by creating endorphins in your brain, which are natural mood enhancers. They energize you, and then you begin to build on your initially small successes.

Identify ways for you to increase your level of self determination, i.e. enforce better eating habits for yourself. Get in your exercise, as many days of the week that you are able. Create some realistic goals for yourself; all 3 types: short term (within a month), mid-range (1 month to 6 months out), and long term (6 months out to whenever). This should be Fluid...in other words, you should be adjusting the goals as you achieve them; the short term are completed, the mid range become short range, and so on. This will help to shift your focus to one of self determination.

There may be chemical reasons for your depression; some medications have a side effect of depressed mood. It would be helpful to discuss this with your primary care physician to rule out any medication caused mood issues.

It would be helpful for you to attend some counseling to assist you to identify your core issues with your depression...and they go well beyond your weight. There is a psychology behind maladaptive eating patterns. If you are able to understand it, than you will be able to modify your beliefs and learn strategies to counteract your negative thinking. Your relationship with food needs to change; understand that food is not your friend, you must learn different coping skills in dealing with your emotions if you are eating from boredom, anger or other emotional self sabotage reasons. You will likely not be able to make these essential adjustments to your beliefs until you are able to address your core issues, and psychotherapy with a qualified professional does help.

You can do this and be successful...but it will require you to become proactive to make it happen...and that's a major piece to the solution and resolving your depressed mood. This is a process and not an event...take a day at a time.

Best wishes for your success...

[NWgirl 574]

Like others said, if you are in the USA and on a parent's plan as a dependant, new health care laws let you stay on insurance until you are 26- previously it was 24. I would make sure you've got your ducks in a row and check your insurance specs.

[LeahX 0]

If I were you I would honestly go ahead and start counseling and go to another lapband doctor, not telling them about the depression. Frankly, I scheduled my surgery at the time my ex would be moving out of the country and we would be breaking up - ON PURPOSE because I knew I gain weight when I am depressed, and I knew I would be. I gained 40 freaking pounds before I started my pre-surgery diet. I thank God i scheduled it, did not necessarily tell the doctor that I was as depressed as i actually was, and got the surgery. My lapband is the only thing that still gives me hope getting over this breakup besides my kids right now and I don't know what I would do without it.

Good luck, hon. I hope you shake that depression and I hope you reach your goal weight as well

[Fr33B 4]

I really appreciate everyone giving me their thoughts. I'm taking everything into consideration and I've made an appointment to see a counselor and follow up. I know I need to fix issues with myself first.