The Psychology Of Size

[Sojourner 2,446]

I've noticed a pattern in my thinking over the past few months...that my "head", and my perceptions of self have not kept pace with the reality of my weight loss. Though this is common treatment issue in dealing with individuals with eating disorders (i.e. anorexia nervosa, who believe that they are physically much larger in size than they really are), I never thought it would also be an issue with people in the process of going through significant weight loss.

I've had some difficulties with my thoughts regarding my weight; my automatic thoughts have not always been up to date with the actual number...I've become aware of myself thinking about my weight, and reverting back to the pre op weight I was at. Instead of a "onederland" number, I catch myself thinking of a number which begins with a "2".

I've had an extremely difficult time with purchasing clothing in smaller sizes...recently I needed to go shopping for some capri pants which were the correct size to fit me well, and I had shrunk out of everything which I owned. I was shopping with my sister...who encouraged me to look at misses sizes, and she humored me with allowing me to take in the identical capri's but in a plus size. The misses size was obviously a better fit and my correct size, and so that's the size I ended up purchasing...but it took every ounce of willpower for me to not also purchase the plus size.

The same debate with myself is ongoing as I shrink into a smaller sizes...as I automatically look for a larger size, and if I don't find it I resist choosing to try on a size smaller just to see if it will fit. I've been pleasantly surprised several times when the smaller size was actually the one to fit.

I can "see" the evidence that physically I am smaller; I no longer have to adjust the seat in my car to get in, I fit comfortably into restaurant booths, my mobility has increased, and the size on the clothing tag is a smaller number. But I continue to be challenged with the automatic thinking which places me back at the beginning of my weight loss journey. Eventually I know my "head" will catch up with the rest of me...just another part of my journey.

[Threetimesacharm 1,400]

What an interesting topic you post. I have noticed in many of the after, or getting to after, pictures that many are obviously wearing clothing many sizes too big. The clothes before were baggy and after too. I am not sure if it is a cost issue to buy new but all of the pics I saw were like that. Enjoy the new sizes you can get into, you deserve the satisfaction of becoming a smaller person and wearing a missy size! Congratulations you are a missy!!

[jennifer1 180]

omg have the same problem...i literally had a panic attack the first time i had to shop on the "regular" side of the store. i still cant shop in stores that dont sell plus and regular sizes. never forsaw this coming with my weight loss!

[2012 359]

When I get there, I'm afraid I won't be able to find the normal clothing side of the store Just kidding, but I can relate, in my early 20's I lost 80lbs and could not believe when someone called me skinny, I had to ask the person, like are you talking to me? And when you walk through a tight spot, thinking still "am I going to fit through there?" But you have to admit it is probably fun to try the plus and misses in the dressing room, whoops that plus just fell right off .

[ValleyGirlRN 32]

I can so relate!! I still have the 'hmmm...am I going to fit in this chair??' and the 'no way is this going to fit...' moments in my head...I know I have a long way to go, hoping my head can keep up!!

[Shoshanna 98]

It is at least as hard to lose "fat mentality" as it is to lose physical fat tissue. I'm at goal but still looking on the mirror to see what appears to be fat desposits clinging to various parts of my body. I've spoken about this with the health coach my insurance provides me with and I know that I'm wearing a pair of size nine Wranglers, but... my head is still in fat mode.

Is it a matter of chanting a "I'm not fat ohmmmmmmm" mantra several times a day or are there better ways to move past fat mentality? Perhaps I'm afraid if I start to feel thin I'll get overconfident and back the weight will come.

[TracyW2 137]

My head still hasnt caught up. I know it frustrates the crap out of my friends when I talk about being fat. I just dont see what they see.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

I can "see" the Eventually I know my "head" will catch up with the rest of me...just another part of my journey.

I keep wondering when my head is going to catch up! I do not see myself as thin yet. I am wondering if I ever will ...which may not be a bad thing because I am so deathly afraid of gaining any weight back I will always keep it on the forefront of my mind.

but I can completely relate to you with regards to shopping I spent 20 + years buying 3 x 4 x 5 x ...and now I am buying 10/12!! it is completely mind boggling to think that this is actually me I am shopping for and not someone else.

[Lap Band Gal 41]

I can honestly say that it's taken me up until about a month ago (14 months into maintenance) to really understand my smaller size.

I can now look at clothes on a rack that are size M or L and hold it up and say to my self, "that's too big"

So I guess it's taken over two years for my head to "catch up" with my body.

[Lap Band Gal 41]

Obviously, I can't count. I'm 19 months into maintenance. ha ha

[missybear 86]

I was only thinking of this the other day, whether my head will realise that my body is no longer that big person. I started at 99 kilos, so far down to 88 with 20 more to go.

I was on a train last week quite late and whilst I used to feel relatively safe (I'm 5'10 and was still quite sporty at my heaviest and could quite easily spar with my brother in the army) I've started to feel a lot more vulnerable when I'm out late or alone. It's been an odd feeling, but I can only put it down to losing weight.

[ValleyGirlRN 32]

I've noticed feeling more vulnarable as well..strange, huh?