It's None Of Your Business!

[Miss Cat 0]

Hello everyone!

I'm new to posting here on the forum but have been checking it out for over a year. I am currently in my fourth month out of six for nutrition counseling, which my insurance requires to cover the band.

I am hoping to get my band by the end of the year, and as I get closer to the surgery I'm getting nervous... for obvious reasons, but also because I will have to tell my co-workers that I will be out of work for surgery! I really just want to tell them, "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" but I probably shouldn't do that I'm not necessarily ashamed of getting WLS, but I just don't want to inevitably answer to them about the where/when/why's that they will have. I've always been a private person, especially about such sensitive issues, so I'm dreading having to deal with this in addition to all the things I actually need to focus on.

Anyone have any suggestions or stories about a similar situation?

Miss Cat

[loseit 28]

I was banded 2.2.12. I was off for 3 days. I did not and have still not told them about my WLS. I told them I need to be off to for personal reasons. Your right, "Its not any of their business". Don't tell anyone who you think might stand in your way.

[SageTracey 608]

You don't need to disclose your private medical/health business to anyone, let alone your work mates. I told my boss that I was having surgery and that the surgeon recommended I take two weeks off. I said the surgery was personal and I wasn't discussing it but would let her know if I needed any adjustments made to my work to cope.

[2muchfun 8,927]

I told everyone and now regret it. It's fine now but for the first 3-4 months my friends kept asking how it was going and at that time, it was going crappy. I went 3.5 months with no weight loss. Some would say, oh, you should have tried this, or that, but of course, they aren't obese so they really don't get it. They mean well but I got tired of answering the questions.

Now that I'm down 45 lbs and over half way to my goal, I don't mind talking about it as I clearly appear to have lost a lot of weight. That shuts up the naysayers and then the supporters are still supporters and that's fine.

I don't have a lot of family who would encourage or discourage me so from that standpoint I was fine. But, I've read many stories on this forum from people who are in a very close nit family group and I can see that could be overwhelming.

You just have to keep in mind that most of these friends and family mean well and want what's best for you. So you have to cut them some slack because they really don't understand what you are going through before and after surgery.

tmf

[NWgirl 574]

As others have stated above, it is your decision to tell or not tell. Legally, your employer cannot disclose what you're having done- you could get your Dr to write a vague time off letter stating that you are undergoing surgery and will need to be off on these dates.

I have seen people use the excuse of hernia repair, lady problems, gall bladder (careful of this, unless you've already had your GB removed) so they didn't have to tell.

For me, the question never came up. I timed my off time to correspond with a required work convention in Vegas, so I got almost a good week off with a little work here and there before I had to go back. I work in the restaurant business and was fine to go back and be on my feet all day the week after.

[Sojourner 2,446]

As others have posted, there are legal restrictions to the disclosure of your private health care information. You should not feel pressured to disclose to anyone information which you do not want to.

Your surgeon's office is well versed in how to address this situation with your employer. It's your call if you want to disclose your WLS to others.

From an emotional perspective, it's much healthier to have appropriate boundaries with others...stay in your comfort zone with disclosure about your surgery. You can always say that you don't feel comfortable with discussing the topic. Others should respect that...

[Timmmaaaaayyyyy 2]

It's up to you what you tell people, but don't be ashamed of your decision to do something for yourself. What I found after my surgery was that the only people that ever said anything negative were those that had weight problems themselves. Some with weight problems were supportive and actually were motivated and asked me questions, those downys that were negative made comments like, "well, my opinion is that you need to have discipline and the best way to lose weight is just don't eat as much." My response was, "but you are the one wearing my old jeans."

Don't worry about who thinks what about your decision, it all works out in the end and you'll be fine.

[Igoback 8]

I told one manager and a friend at work. The other managers know I had surgery but don't know what it's for. I'm also not comfortable discussing it. If you're not, tell them you're having a surgery. True Results offered to give us a doctors note without the specific reason (or even "True Results") on the note.

[TracyW2 137]

I didnt tell people unless I had to. I prefer to keep things like that private. I still do this day dont say much about my surgery. But those who know me, know I spend a lot of time in the gym working my butt off.

I go in for a Tummy Tuck soon and I told work that I was having surgery and needed time off. That is all they needed to know. The details are none of their business.

[kll724 3,055]

I told some people. I di not tell everyone what type of surgery I was having. Eventually, when the weightloss showed, I told more people. A lot of people still only know that I watched what I ate, ate smaller portions, and exercised a lot. Best wishes

[karewpah 173]

I had my surgery late in week (Friday) so I was only off sick that day and back on Monday

[LBSept09 33]

I told people simply because I wanted to be held accountable.

The band is simply a tool, not much different then ww, or nutra system.

I knew I wouldn't let them change my mind, so it didn't matter what they thought. But I did feel the added scrutiny wouldn't hurt. And tmf is right, I believe most speak up out if concern and good intention.

Best of luck!!!

[maegan 51]

Don't tell if you don't want to. I told a few people at work because they would have wondered about my sudden behavior changes (pre op liquid diet, etc). I only told those closest to me because they would bring me food a lot like baked goods. I wanted them to understand why I couldn't participate with them in the food fests anymore. I am a teacher and there are a lot of celebrations surrounding food!

I don't mind sharing my journey because hopefully it will inspire others. I have only had one person actually question me as to why not lose weight naturally and she was very polite about it. Do what you think is best for you, but definately don't stress over it either way! We have enough to worry about!

[Miss Cat 0]

Thanks for all the replies. I was planning on telling them I would be having gallbladder surgery, but a few weeks ago I actually had an emergency cholecystectomy. I hope to be able to deal directly with human resources so that I can utilize my short term disability and not have to give any details to my supervisor or anyone else I work with.

[steph1967 13]

Like most others I did not tell anyone I took off 3 days for personal reasons and had 2 days for the weekend and so when I returned on monday I was feeling pretty good. It wasn't until a month or 2 later everyone noticed I was losing that I finally told them everyone was shocked that they didn't know or I didn't say anything but like you said it is nobodys business unless you want it to be.