A thread for super-sized bandsters - starting BMI over 50?

[whosyadaddy 0]

Sassy, let me be the first to congratulate you!!!!!!!!!! Actually for me getting the approval WAS the biggest hurdle. the next was the pre op diet but after surgery everything was a breeze!

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mmcbelle 0]

Hi Sassy,

Congratulations! You are about to go on one of the best rides in the park!

Cheers,

Mary

[mmcbelle 0]

Hi,

I have had a weird week. I have felt that in my training sessions I am not performing optimally. I feel like I am not getting to goals fast enough. I hit a milestone this week on Tuesday only for it to be taken aback on Wednesday and back at the milestone on Thursday. Finally after reading several of the posts in this thread from twenty something to thirty something (and feeling much better thank you) I am realizing what it is. It is something I am learning more and more about. I am so used to the instant gratification that food gave me:hungry:. It always made me feel better...for a while, until I needed another fix to make me feel better again. I am so used to that feeling better instantly, it is sometimes hard for me to take a step back and realize how far I have come. How long it took me to get myself in the unhealthy postion in the first place. Most importantly, life is not about instant gratification...I have to become familiar with the concept of...ENOUGH.

It seems we are taught from an early age that it is never enough...in most circumstances in our lives. It is no wonder I could never get enough food. :cool: Now I am having to exchange instant gratification for delayed gratification. Also having to make the paridigm shift from it never being enough to understanding that enough is perfectly acceptable.

I talked with my trainer on Wednesday, telling him that I just did not feel like my work outs this week were as good as my past weeks work outs. He tells me that the work out I just completed was the most difficult and most accomplished so far:wow2:. This is a prime example of enough. I want instant gratification in that I want my physicality to become improved now. I just began working with the trainer five weeks ago. You know what, I carried myself up and down a flight of stairs last week without getting winded and without pain. Five weeks to greater lung capacity, no knee pain, and virtually no effort to climb up and down a flight of stairs twice. Five weeks for the turn around and I want more...well it is enough.

I also wanted to break 350 this week and I have, but I also rose above 350 and now am back down below 350. Usually the scale does not effect me, but I was reaching a milestone and when I rose above it after reaching it...again, not enough. I have to look on what I have accomplished. I have lost 43 lbs since July 9 (pre-op diet weight). Essentially, 43 lbs in three months. That really is enough for where I am. Why is it we have to have more and have it now and think we are failures if we don't reach lofty goals.

What I am trying to say is be gentle with yourselves:waytogo:. I have to keep coming back to the fact that I am an individual that is unlike any other and my progress it just that, my progress. I should not compare myself to others. I must concentrate on my personal best and know that instant gratification is what got me to the point where I needed to consider WLS.

So I declare that 43 lbs today is enough for me for this instance:clap2:. That walking two flights of stairs and not getting winded and pain free is enough for today:whoo:. I Celebrate these accomplishments and know they are ENOUGH:amen:.

Thanks for reading:thankyou: & :Banane20:!

Happy banding!

MMT

[Cerrin 3]

You have an awsome way of looking at things good for you!

I love seeing people doing something really hard and have positive outlook on it too. Your awsome!

[insubordination 0]

Great post. I can really relate to a lot of that.

[losingjusme 12]

MMT,

I LOVED your post. Great attitude!!

[smilin_apple 0]

I can really relate to alot of what you said too MMT. I have to continually remind myself of the same things, almost daily. But I know that more I think that way and continue to remind myself of that, this journey will flow much smoother for me emotionally.

Thank you for posting that to remind me, and anyone else who is thinking the same way, that we are not alone.

:eek:

[artzygirl 0]

I haven't posted here for a while, but my surgery is coming up and I am starting to get a little scared. I know the surgery will go fine. I'm just a little scared about what's on the other side. What if this does not work for me? What if I don't know when to stop eating? What if I P.b. all the time? What if I can't keep anything down? Will I miss food? Will my urge to eat really go away after a few bits? Can I sleep in any position? I know I sound like a big baby. I don't usually sound like this. I know I'm ready for the surgery. I just don't like the unknown. Have any of you had the same fears? How has it turned out for you? I am excited about my up-coming surgery and the life change I am about to make, but a part of me is freaking out!

[insubordination 0]

I'll field some of your questions though I'm only a recent bandster (4 months). Hopefully some others can give their perspective too.

Most people are scared. I was excited rather than scared. I guess my main fear was that the band wouldn't work for me.

What if I don't know when to stop eating?

You'll gradually learn through trial and error. I'm just starting to realise that it's in my own best interest to stop eating. A severe stuck/vomiting episode cured me.

What if I P.b. all the time?

You will realise that it is dangerous and puts your band at risk. You'll discuss it with your doctor and decide on an unfill or a better chewing technique/smaller bite size/ friendlier food choices.

Will I miss food?

Yes and no. In some ways I miss being able to cram myself stupid to numb my feelings but I don't miss the effect that that behaviour had on me. It was hard at first to know what to do when eating became less of an option. I have had to deliberately add other activities.

I'm slowly appreciating food even more because I can only have little tasty bits and must savour them. You can still eat all the nice foods you like but not in the same quantities. Less is truly more, though it has taken me some months to accept that. I still struggle at times but it is slowly becoming normal to serve myself a small amount.

Can I sleep in any position?

Maybe not right after the op but certainly a month/6 weeks down the track you can sleep any which way.

Will my urge to eat really go away after a few bites?

For me it didn't. I always wondered at this 'disinterest in food' that I'm supposed to feel. Even if I had no mouth or stomach or nose, I would still be very interested in food.

I spent some time just after the op going crazy looking at restaurants and supermarket aisles and getting angry when I had to throw away/couldn't finish food.

I spent a lot of time over-shopping and cooking and freezing and, yes, chewing and spitting. I just couldn't accept that I couldn't eat as much as my head wanted to.

Just lately though, things have calmed down and it seems as though I can't be bothered putting myself through the grief. I think this is partly because I have figured out why I was doing it but also because I want to be healthy now and deserve to be.

Another reason has to be that I can go several hours now without needing to eat. Although food is often on my mind, it's not on my mind every single second of the day anymore. I look forward to further improvement in this arena.

It will be different for everyone of course, we are all individuals. I would love to know what others think. Despite my post, it hasn't been a negative experience in any way and I find I'm coping just fine because the weight loss makes me so happy.

All I can say it go for it. It won't always be smooth sailing but it's not supposed to be. You will learn a lot about yourself. Overall, I would say that it isn't even hard compared to having a 50+ BMI. We've already done the hard yards but living in our bodies for so long.

[mmcbelle 0]

Hi Artzygirl,

Your fear is VERY natural. My big fear was what if the band works? I have always had a fear of success with weight loss and fortunatley (I'm only 3 months post op). It is working. Insubordination had wonderful things to share with you.

My thoughts...

What if this does not work for me? I do have this fear still. I feel like WLS was almost a desperate measure for me, but I was 7.5 lbs away from 400 lbs, no matter how you slice it that is unhealthy. I have tried many things and have discovered that the most important thing is to NOT GIVE UP. I can tell you that with the band, I am approaching this with a better attitude, more informed and healthier approach than ever before. I believe anyone with the band can be successful. You just must work the band and perform all the follow up (get those fills on schedule).

What if I don't know when to stop eating? The hardest part so far has been "bandster hell" when the swelling from surgery subsides and the band has no effect. You may gain and wonder why did I do this, be patient. You are learning a whole new way to live and it takes time. As you get fills, you will learn. I am still learning and do not have my sweet spot, but I will. I am reminded that I eat too fast often. I either get a pressure in my throat and have to wait for it to pass or I PB, which puts my band at risk of slippage, but I am learning. You will too. It is amazing the head work that occurs as a part of the band.

What if I P.b. all the time? If you do this, there is something wrong and you need to get to see your healthcare professionals ASAP. Each person is different and some PBing may occur, but doing it at every meal, every day is not a good thing and you would need to seek the doctors expertise. I think you will be fine just because you are aware. Rememeber that sometimes we post when we are on our last legs and need some support and then we get it and it gets better.

What if I can't keep anything down? This actully happed to me the day after surgery. Call your doctor. I had to suffer it for three days. It took supository meds and an ice pack to my chest to reduce the swelling from the surgery that had caused me to swell shut, but calling my surgeon was the first and best thing to do. The fourth day I got IV fluids and was able to drink liquids and was just fine. It does NOT happen to most people...it is an exception not the rule. Your surgeon will know how to proceed if it happens.

Will I miss food? There is nothing, at this point, I can't eat. I just can't eat as much. Sometimes it is just the bite and taste I crave. When I have trouble with a food, I chew what I can and remove the rest from my mouth. I get the taste, but not the fiberous stuff. I revisit my relationship with food becasue it changes constantly. Yes I do miss food, but I can tell you it is in my head, not my stomach.

Will my urge to eat really go away after a few bits? I still fight with my head over my stomach. Yes, a few bites will satisify my tummy, but my head pushes me farther. I find that if I only put so much on my plate, it helps. Once the plate is cleared I am usually finished (I did not grow up being told to clean my plate). If I want more in an hour, then I can have it, but I usually don't want it. One thing that helps me is to curtail how much TV I watch. TV watchin induces hand to mouth disease for me. So I avoid the trigger until I figure out how to manage it.

Can I sleep in any position? Not at first. I am a stomach sleeper and whith the port, I could not sleep on my tummy, but as it healed...I can sleep in any positon.

Congratualtions you are human and yes, I had fears. It was at its peek the week before surgery and the week following surgery.

I have to say this is one of the best decisions I have made in my life. I am only three moths post op, but I have made permant changes already. It has made me realize there is an inner athelete inside me...that is amazing. I can eat in small quantities. Water (with propel) really is my friend. And my getting healthier has had an unexpected side effect in that I may now not have to have an additioanl surgery to correct another issue because my body is healing itself...something it was not doing for two years before lapbanding.

You are not being a big baby. You are being very brave. You are one of those people who keep trying and you will succeed. There will be scary moments and you will get on the other side of them and realize that you managed it and you are an incredible person worthy of this happiness.

Good luck and keep us posted!

MMT

[artzygirl 0]

Insubordination and Mmcbelle,

Thank you for your responses. I have been reading them over and over again because they are so helpful. It really helps alot hearing what others have gone though and how they have handled it. I think that because the surgery is less than 2 weeks away, my fears are getting stronger. I'm starting to wish this was over already. I have been trying to lose weight for the past three months to try to get ready for surgery, and I'm in the liquid pre-op diet now. I feel a lot of pressure to make sure I have a loss every week. I'm sick of protien shakes, and I am wanting real food. Please tell me this gets easier!

Also, Mmcbelle, thank you for telling me I'm not a big baby. I think that was the best thing I could hear right now.

And Insubordination, thank you for reminding me that we have already been through the hard part by just living in our overweight bodies for so long. That reminded me that I need to keep looking at the positives and not the negatives.

Just a little about me and my wieght - I started dieting at 433 lbs. I would like to weigh between 230 and 200. I hope that's possible

[lizrbit 0]

thanks for posting those.

i had a realization today and it was that since my rebanding in late may, ive only lost 25 lbs. Its October. ive lost just under twenty last month because i was too tight and on liquids. I had to stop eating completely because of the frequent pbs. Ive been in and adjusted, and i dont eat junk! I know the band only works on restriction.

Im a bit concerned. It has to be something im doing. ifeel in alot of ways that im failing. I dont know in what way or how, but i am.

[whosyadaddy 0]

I won a fittness comp! 2 weeks a go the YMCA had us counting our steps for the week. They gave you a conversion for exercises. I did 7 days that week with at least 1 hr 15min a day. Well they added the steps up and i was in the TOP 5! woo hoo! i mean ME! I won a t shirt for being in the top 5 out of about 100 people there.

[blahblahblah 4]

whosyadaddy...

WWOOOO HOOO!!!!

Congrats...I think you rock!

Thanks for the PM...you're sweet. I'm doing well...Just had my first fill and I am losing again...11 lbs to go to reach my OCT goal...I have to do this....or die trying (well...maybe that's a little dramatic )

Glad you are still kicking butt!!!

Rain

[Cherlita 0]

Hello everyone,

My first post on this website.

I am so excited to share that my surgery date has been scheduled on 11.27.07. I am still pending insurance approval. It is a covered benefit, so hopefully they will process quickly. I have my dietician consult and my psych consult next week. Kind of nervous about the psych consult. I'm a happy person, I just like to eat. Why do thin people think that obese people have to be depressed and miserable?...

A little about myself, I am 46 and have been overweight all of my life. Really, all of it. I have baby pictures with a double chin. I have had success in the past with Weight Watchers and also Atkins, losing ~100 lbs each time, only to regain the weight.

At the Surgeon's office 2 weeks ago, I weighed 379. My BMI is 65. Since that appt, I have started low carb and have lost ~10 lbs. I don't want to wait until my surgery to start losing and changing my habits. I am a fast food addict, and I don't exercise. Which is a great combination, if you want to be super obese. I just look at it as I WAY above average :Banane10:

My surgeon does not require patients to lose weight before surgery. I do want to try to make my liver smaller, so I'm wondering what kind of pre-op diet were you place on to reduce your liver?

Words do not capture just how excited I am about having a lap band. I know it is only a tool, and I have to control my eating, but at least it will help me control quantities.

I feel like I've been given the keys to the kingdom and this Queen can hardly wait to rock the world. :biggrin1: