What others think of your weight loss!!

[bermy 0]

Well Jack, thank you for reminding me of that. We are all victims of prevailing societial attitudes and prejudicies. Being fat made me empathetic so I suppose "its all good" provided that we learn the lessons..........

[PhotoNut 7]

Wow, Jack. I never thought about that... and um.. where's your pic? *grins*

[Midnightwitc6 0]

Hello there.

This is my first post/reply, thanks, but this is a topic that I was just discussing with someone at work today.

I had my banding 3/3/06 and have lost 27 from pre-op diet till now, I am finding the compliments a little strange, but I always recieved compliments from friends, or strangers, even if I never could figure out why.

I have known people who have lost weight, and I was one of I guess the bad ones that never complimented, commented on their weight loss, but for a reason that hasnt been mentioned. I did not want them to feel that their weight loss was a big deal to me, I found them beautiful before the loss and after. A person I work with said today, after finding about my own surgery, that she too never noticed when someone lost or gained weight because she looked at the person themselves and not the size of their ass! lol

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone who doesnt mention your weight loss may not be jealous. Though I wont discount the possibility, and that change in any shape or form can just make people down right uncomfortable. I'm looking forward to see what reaction, if any, I will get when (not if! hehe) I loose this weight.

[S@ssen@ch 745]

I'm with Midnightwit. Although I DO think that many do not comment because of a possibility of jealousy (my best friend being one of those type). I think there may be an element of complacency here. I myself am guilty of this. To be honest, unless a person's outward appearance changes drastically I don't really notice. I may see them daily and see the little changes and if I haven't seen them in a while, the changes may be more evident. Maybe it's because I've been fat most of my life. I don't put that much emphasis on a person's body. I notice a new hair style, that may be a little more noticeable. Weight loss, unless I'm looking for it, isn't as noticeable to me.

[Tricia K. 0]

The one thing that I can't stand is when people say "You have such a pretty face." Why do they have to clarify it? Can't they just say "You're pretty?"

Or, the old standard "If you lost weight, you'd be so pretty." I guess I'm ugly when I'm heavy. Urgh!!

[bermy 0]

how do u put yr pic at the top of each post ? Plz help

[Tricia K. 0]

how do u put yr pic at the top of each post ? Plz help

If you go to User CP and click on Edit Avatar, you can upload a picture of yourself. There are size limitations though. I hope this helps.

[sleepyjean 0]

I'm so glad we're having this conversation. Count me in the category of people who would prefer not to be commented on at all, even if it is a compliment.

When I was 22, I starved myself down to 135lbs. I am 5'7" so that was pretty small for me. When I was 28, I did it again, going from 220 to 140. I found being a healthy weight terrifying and uncomfortable. While I was proud of myself for losing the weight, I wasn't prepared for the reaction. When I was 13, I was closet bingeing while all the other girls were learning how to flirt and talk to boys. I never learned how to do those things, so I felt inadequate and foolish. I was bewildered when total strangers who had never seen me before, never known that I was fat, complimented me. I felt afraid because deep in my heart, I <b>knew</b> that I had lost weight by starving myself and that it wouldn't last. If people noticed me losing weight, they'd certainly notice me gaining it back and I <i>cringed</i> at the thought.

All of that adds up to a lot of inner turmoil. Confused, exposed, angry, scared, etc. all added up to weight gain. I see it so clearly now, but I didn't see it then. I see that some people were genuinely glad for me and complimented me because well...that's how they would want to be treated if the situation were reversed. I see that some people complimented me because I carried myself with a little more pride and confidence. And I see that some people were negative because of their own issues, and it had nothing to do with me.

I hadn't thought about all of this in a while, but it all came back when I had my eval with the social worker. I realized that though I have a lot more clarity now, this is still going to be scary. The only way to deal with the fear and insecurity is to push right through it. It's going to be difficult, so I followed the social worker's advice and found a therapist to help me with this particular issue. She's going to help me fight through all of that and come out of it stronger this time, not fatter.

[Dianechef 3]

I just met a "friend" who I hadn't seen in a long time. She was a friend who never really seemed to be all that in to me. We did things together in a group, but we never really clicked. She is a VERY fit, energetic, beautiful woman that everyone envies. When she saw me she immediately asked me about my weight loss & went into detail about how thin my face looks. She asked me if I wanted to work out with her at her gym & seemed EXTREMELY friendly towards me.

I'm not sure why I feel so funny about this because she was VERY nice to me, however; it just seems very convenient that she's so nice to me now that I'm thinner.

[Poodles 0]

Once upon a time (in high school for about 6 months) I had a 25" waist, 35"/25"/35". Pretty hour-glass figure and all the boys wanted me. But once I started to gain weight (again) poof! they were gone.

Now that I am a perfect size 26, don't have to worry about many advances (been married for almost 12 years, and in those 12 years been "hit on" about 3 times by other men). My fat body will take my high schoolers to field trips to various places, and I can not get over how many men trip over themselves to help/talk to my teenagers. Went to a mexican diner with a small group of kids and got the best service of my life because I had two of the cheerleaders with me. I was the afterthought of course, but it absolutely amazed me that I could be so obviously excluded, and it kind of hurt my feelings.

Now I have to worry about the opposite happening. My husband likes big women... what will he think when/if I get thin?

[Kelliebelly 13]

My life has been one big yo yo of dieting. Up and down, but mostly up. i would starve myself down to a half decent weight for a while then put it all back on and more. I often think about the difference in the way I am treated by people when I am big and when I am not so big. I decided this time around that all those stuck up snobs that put their nose in the air and looked down on me when I was big will never get the time of day from me. I am still the same person with the same personality, just a lil extra cushioning. It was those sort of people that had me believeing I am worth nothing when I am fat....that I am ugly and not worth the air I breathe.

No more of those type of people. I am taking NJchicks advice..Surround myself with people who are positive and care about me...and that always have. The others well they can go jump.