Craziest Things People Have Said Coming From Under General Anesthesia...

[BellaBean 0]

I woke up and said "I stopped breathing!" the male nurse grinned and told me I was fine and I was breathing. Id fall asleep and wake up again "OMG I'm so sorry I stopped breathing again" He assured me that the monitors would go off if I stopped breathing. I did this like 6 times. He must of been laughing!

[Melody2006 1]

Before I had lapband I had just had my 1st brain surgery and and my 1st time being put under. When I first came to I saw my uncle and my dad (both from the south) and I kept saying "I swear I didn't vote for Bush! I swear I didn't!"

[TQUAD64 9]

OMG!!! LOL

After a very long labor (second baby) with an epidural, the male doctor says we are going to shut off your meds so you can feel the contraction. That way you can push when the contraction comes.

I remember screaming OMG someone give me back my epidural they are trying to kill me...Then I remember screaming get him out!!!!!!!!!!!! The whole ward could hear me.

They wheeled me into the OR and did a c-section. I remember yelling at the doctor while he was doing the c-section, "I told you we should had did this in the first place." How embarrassing to yell at a doctor when they have a scalpel on ya.

[LDNurse 0]

After my upper GI they were wheeling me into recovery and i was singing at the top of my lungs "HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW!!!WEEEEEEEEEEEE"

My husband said "Is she all right?"

And whenI passed gas, I announced it to everybody "Oh my God, I farted. I farted again. Oh you think I'm gross don't you?" AS my husband tried to quiet me.

After lap band surgery I said to the recovery nurse," Dorcus, I'm hurting." She looked at me kind of funny, and got me pain medicine. Then I said, "Dorcus, I need my glasses." When she got them for me, I noticed her name was Debbie. I said"I'm so sorry, I kept calling you Dorcus. Is there somebody here named Dorcus?" She laughed and said, "Honey, the secretary that checked you in this morning is named Dorcus." Well thank God i didn't make it up.

[tapshoes 2]

As a veteran of many, many surgeries, I have had several funny experiences....

One time I had been given my pre-op meds, and was waiting to be wheeled into the OR. Beside me was another patient who was being given his pre-op assessment by the anaesthetist. Each time the anaesthetist asked him a question, I would answer LOUDLY ...much to the laughter of the nursing staff and chagrin of the doc. (I was unaware I was doing it; but was told later) Amazingly though, apparently I answered all the questions correctly...

Another time I was given heavy painkillers and the physcian came in to do a rectal exam...for the rest of the day, I told EVERYONE (nurses, candy stripers, visitors to other patients in the other ward beds etc) I had a rectal exam. Over and over and over; my bf tried to tell me that I didn't need to tell anyone, but I kept saying it over and over and over. Again, I have no recollection of this.

I have many years of operations all of which had some funny components....

[mich 74]

Thank you all for sharing, I am crying I'm laughing so hard! You made my day!

My band was the first time I've been put under, I did not expect the crazy feeling. The first thing I remember was hearing someone say "She had a band and a liver biopsy". Now a liver biopsy was NOT planned and my mind is now racing. I asked the nurse "did someone say liver biopsy?" she said "oh, you heard that did you?"

I start crying and saying how my grandmother died from liver cancer. I kept saying over and over "My kids are so young" and crying. The nurse said, lets get the doctor down here. Then the surgeons intern came down and was trying to be all consoling. He said it was nothing, just a bile duct tumor, nothing to worry about.

Then he says "you are a healthy 35yo woman, your going to live to....36." The nurse next to me tries to stop a laugh, and I'm thinking, that's it! 36? This is how you comfort me? I said "Thanks a lot..." In a slightly sarcastic tone and got a few chuckles from the nurses.

[mansaw 0]

um guys - Im three weeks post op and it still hurts to laugh this much - I have tears in my eyes!

I cant remember all the times I have been out - but apparantely I always say stupid things.

This last time with the band, my friend said the doctor came into the room and asked if I had a drug problem he didnt know about...because when I came out of it I kept telling them all how awesome the drugs were and asking the doctor if I could take some home...he said that was against the law, I told him I wouldnt tell anyone!! OMG - how embarrasing - I am so not like that. Also - apparantly I kept ranting about how hot the two doctors and one male nurse were - they were though (to my defence)...I can only imagine what I said - I probably asked them to come home with me...geez

I only remember the other story from my one c-section that I was swearing at the doctor cuz it hurt so much and I told them to just put me out in the first place...and I guess I was a real b*tch (put hey, they tried doing the c-section with me awake at first and the epidural didnt work so who can blame me - it hurt like u wouldnt believe)

[~~Beth~~ 1]

:tt2: What a chuckle I've had reading these stories, I guess we all have one or two that are just hilarous, I tell you, I have been laughing so hard, I shut my office door and my co - worker had to come check on me, he was worried! Yeah right he wanted in on the fun.

I got banded on 12.30.08, and the first thing I said was "where the hell is my MOTHER-N-LAW" of all people right, the nurse replied... she can't be with you at this moment, is she out there waiting.... I said nicely "No, but if I'm in this much pain someone else needs to suffer to" I'm not really sure why I said that, maybe she made me upset before I went in or something.

But, also when I woke up my sugar and blood pressure where sky rocketed high, and I remember when first opened my eyes I had two nurses on one side and one nurse on the other side, and they were all yelling get us this, check this, it freaked me out big time and stared panicing and of course the blood pressure was still moving up, I nicely looked at the THREE doctors at the end of the bed just standing quietly, with their lab coats on and funny hats, and said NICELY "Damn, are you guys gonna do anything, or let them keep yelling" well the nurses doped me up pretty well, and then my O2 sats would'nt stay up, and the nurses kept saying breath deep, after about the third time of her saying this, again, I nicely said "what do you expect, you guys doped me up with stuff to relax me, and thats what I'm suppose to do right" she replied breath deep hunny, breath deep, and I did for a time or two but would pass back out, and again, and again finally I came back too, and said "look, follow the Doctors from before, and be quite and walk away, before I jedi your A**" and I was out again.

I dont' even know what jedi is.... but when I was moved to the next recovery area the nurses came over there and laughed with me and was telling me all this, and said they laughed.... so I guess it was all good for them

Edited January 14, 2009 by ~~Beth~~

[aubrie 6]

I've had numerous surgeries and I only had "drama" with a few of them. But they were good. I had shoulder surgery and when I woke up I was convinced I had been kidnapped and had been taken to Canada. I DEMANDED to know who kidnapped me and how the hell did I get into Canada without my passport? I told the nurses to call the U.S. embassy immediately. Too much television????? OMG

another surgery I (purely by coincidence) had started my period while on the operating table. By the time I started to come to in recovery, I was quite a mess. I thought the stitches had popped open and I was bleeding to death. Totally freaked out. Scared the crap out of the nurses too. Once the nurses and I figured out what happened, I was SO EMBARRASSED!!!

I told one surgeon in the OR the recipe for pumpkin pie. Like he really needed to know that then.......

Don't you imagine that they've heard the craziest things in the world?

[CMTurner 0]

I have been LMAO reading this. I have no idea what I might have said going in but, in recovery when they went to remove some of the adhesive leads for the machines that were on my chest they flipped my gown down and totally exposed my breast and the male nurse started apologizing profusely and I said, "It's ok. I've been to Talledaga." (for those of you confused at this point, Talledaga is a NASCAR racetrack in AL where it is one huge party and most of the women flash people for beads). Both him and the female nurse started cracking up and asked me who my favorite driver was. He was still chuckling when he wheeled me to my room where my DH was waiting. I didn't remember saying it until the next day.

Thanks for the great stories. You all made my day on this dreary cold day. Between this and the poop floaters vs sinkers post. LMAO

[Mr. Green 3]

I had sinus surgery several years ago and during my first follow-up appointment at the doctors office, the doc informed me how the whole OR felt sorry for me because I woke up crying my eyes out. Guess I did this right when they wake you up in OR before going to recovery. Great, grown man cried his eyes out for no reason and the doc remembered it 3 days later!!!!

[heartfire 4]

Oh My Gosh!! This is sooo funny!

Almost 20 yrs ago I had my wisdom teeth pulled and was pretty loopy after coming too. I flipped out b/c I had dried blood on my hands (I'd apparently wiped my hand across my mouth before they got me cleaned up). The surgeon himself was cleaning me off! He was trying to calm me down at the same time.

DH was sitting with me in the recovery room and mentioned that he liked the wallpaper. I asked him, "what wallpaper?" Ummm, yeah.

Then we're walking out and he's helping me b/c I'm still toast. We get outside the building and there's grass on either side of the walkway and I yell, yes yell, "OH HONEY, LOOK! SOMEONE SHIT ON THE GRASS!!!!" Yes there were people around! Yes, he was mortified. Yes, he apologized to the poor people near us and explained I'd just awakened from dental surgery. And yes, there was a huge pile of poop on the grass by the walkway. Someone had a BIG dog they didn't clean up after!

As far as my band surgery. I don't remember a thing between being wheeled into the surgery suite and waking up in recovery.

[ghannouge 0]

LOL @ your comments!

When i woke from surgery, i was in so much pain, and there was a child also who woke from surgery!

I shouted at the nurses, would you MAKE HER SHUT UP! SHE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE IN PAIN! (OMG) LOL

[tapshoes 2]

Adding to my previous post....

I was a child (5) and having surgery. Before the operation my mother and doctor kept telling me if I was a good girl, I could have icecream after surgery. So...in recovery, I asked for icecream (a favorite food even then!!) and when it didn't come, I was ...well...um, I guess unbearable!! No one could calm me and they made my mother come and get me.

Finally in the ward room, my mother went to get some icecream, and while she was gone I knew I was going to throwup. But throwing up was bad in my mind and that would mean I wouldn't get icecream, so ... i got out of the bed, went to the next bed, and threw up there....wasn't me, mom, honest. I was good!!!

to this day, no one knows how I climbed out of the bed...as back then small children were in beds with rails - like huge cribs.

[AngelWhisper 0]

I seem to be very alert when I wake up. I hate the oxygen masks they make me feel like I'm dying. I took that and threw it to the ground when I woke up. I also felt like I had an elephant on my chest and I was yelling "get it out of me! I want it out!" then they told me there was nothing in me and I told them they were ****ing morons and there was a lapband in me. I kept screaming and got really mad when they told me to be quiet because there were other people in recovery. I told them exactly what to do to themselves then they took me to my room. Then this pulmonary guy came in to show me how to inhale with the stupid thing they make you breathe in and out of. I was like look buddy I know how to inhale. He said he was surprised I was so awake and alert and I told him that was nice and to get the hell out of my room. LOL I was so annoyed by the number of people that had to be around me.