Losing Motivation (Warning: A Whining Post)

[ElizabethAnne 40]

Mentally, I'm at a low spot right now, and I am about to write a whiny post, which I don't like to do. I am normally a positive person, but I am also realistic and "choosing my attitude" doesn't seem to be working for me, so I am hoping for some encouragement.

I am hungry almost all of the time, though I am following all of my guidelines. And it's not mind hunger because I do feel full for an hour or two after I eat. I am doing lots of exercise but the scale isn't budging, and I am questioning why when I am working so hard.

Frankly, if my surgeon doesn't give me a fill the next time, I am going to tell him I have been questioning why I even had WLS. If it weren't for the scars on the surface of my stomach area, I sometimes temporarily forget that I have been banded. On one hand, I am happy that I am having no physical problems as a result of WLS. And I truly didn't expect to be "cured" of my hunger issues. However, I obviously did anticipate life would be easier with the band than without or I wouldn't have pursued surgery.

I have seriously been considering taking a Phentermine tablet to help get me through this. On the day of my surgery, when I questioned whether I could still take it after surgery, my surgeon said I could, but I could tell he didn't want me to. He said I wouldn't need to. Therefore, I don't want to let him down. My goal is to make it to my next doctor appointment, which is July 27, without an appetite suppressant.

I am hoping each day for a weight loss. I know I shouldn't weigh every morning when I am in a slump like this, but I'm obsessed with the scale; normally it is a great motivator when I am working hard. I got up to walk this morning at 4:30 so I could get my 10 miles in before the heat becomes unbearable, but as we all know, it's so hard to stay motivated to exercise when the scale isn't moving. Hopefully, it will happen soon.

I am done ranting (just writing about my frustration has helped) and do have a question. How much of a difference did the first fill make in your hunger? Could you tell a slight difference or nothing at all? I understand this will vary from person to person due to the many variables. On the day of my surgery, my surgeon said it would likely take six fills for me, so I am not expecting a huge difference. However, I do hope it's noticeable.

Thanks!

[momab50 6]

just hang in there, keep doing what you know that you have to do it will come off. this was i though a bad month for me i new that i wasnt eating properly to many partys with cake and ice cream, my scales at home was telling me i was gaining (oh no) got back on track and still no change in the scales, noticeed my feet were swollen so i took a Water pill and that seemed to help. Then when i when to ttyhe Dr. i just knew that i wouldnt have lost the 4 lbs that he wanted out of me this month but i did come close 3.8 boy was i supprised. he did give me a fill but it was only .5cc.

As far as hunger pains i havent really had problems with that ,but i am probaly eating more food at meals than i feel like i should but the Dr. said to listen to your body eat slow and stop when you feel satisfied.

Dont give up remember we are turtles slow and steady will win

[scorpiolady 83]

Number 1 - I don't believe it's a bad idea to share not only our victories but our frustrations. Nothing wrong with whining if that's what your feeling. Isn't this a support site? A site for others to learn about what to expect? I wish I had known before surgery that is was going to be a slow process and the weight didn't just fall off for some of us. Yes, I read it was a tool but I too expected the scale to move a little quicker than it is. I may only lose a half a lb. a week while I see others are losing 3 to 5 lbs. Frustrating to say the least. I really thought I would be done like 40 lbs by now.

I was banded in Mexico so things are a little different for me. I can't get a fill as often as others for various reasons. One of which is my Doc isn't around the corner. Secondly, my doc does things a little differently than most. He only wants to do 3 or 4 fills in a life time. My first fill was May 21st and they want me to wait at least 2 months before they will see me again. My first fill was only like 3 cc's and I feel very little restrictions. If I take my time, I can eat just as much as I did before surgery in one setting. This isn't what I was hoping for. I know the band is only a tool, but shouldn't I feel sick if I eat that much? Sometimes I too wonder if what I did was worth it. My next fill better be a bit more aggressive as it's not an easy trip to make.

On the positive side, I am losing. SLOWLY, but it is happening. I've gone up and down on the scale with a pound or two but overall the bottom line is I'm down each week. Not what I had hoped for but I'll take it. It shows when I fudge on my diet which usually gets me back on track. Have to stay away from the Cookies and candy.

I know in my heart that I have to stick with it and in the long run it will pay off. I got myself fat and I WILL get this weight off. I just need to be patient.

Hope my sharing helps you as much as your sharing helps me.

hugs

j~

[ElizabethAnne 40]

Thank you for your reply and for your support and encouragement, momab50!

We had a slight break in the heat and humidity yesterday, and when I got up this morning, the scale showed a 3 pound loss, and I am feeling super motivated again! The heat and humidity are supposed to return today, so I am just hoping that an increase in weight doesn't. Water retention or not, it disturbs me when there's an increase on the scale, especially when I am working so hard to lose weight. (My friend wanted to walk last night, so I had walked over 12 miles yesterday.)

How much food are you eating at a meal? Initially, I was measuring and weighing every morsel that I ate, but I got away from that during vacation. Yesterday, I started weighing and measuring again. I worry now that I have been eating too much as well because I have been eating until I am full. I fear that I have stretched my pouch and am going to talk to my surgeon about this on Friday. I haven't had any physical symptoms from eating too much, but I am going to be very conscientious in the future about portions.

The dietitian told me to eat one cup of food per meal. I am estimating that my food intake has likely increased to 1 1/2 cups per meal. She didn't say how many ounces, so I need to get clarification since volume and weight aren't the same measures. Most days, I have been eating 3-4 ounces of turkey or chicken on a Hungry Girl flatbread for lunch, as well as about a 1/2 cup of fruit or vegetables or cottage cheese. If I am still hungry (and I am most of the time), I usually eat several grape tomatoes.

[ElizabethAnne 40]

Number 1 - I don't believe it's a bad idea to share not only our victories but our frustrations. Nothing wrong with whining if that's what your feeling. Isn't this a support site? A site for others to learn about what to expect?

Thank you for your reply and for your support and encouragement, Julie! You are a GREAT cheerleader! And you're right---Others do need to learn to be realistic about their expectations.

I feel entirely motivated now that the scale FINALLY showed a weight loss today of 3 pounds. I realize I shouldn't weigh myself every morning. But I can't help myself. It's been part of who I am for way too many years for me to stop the daily weigh-ins now.

I wish I had known before surgery that is was going to be a slow process and the weight didn't just fall off for some of us. Yes, I read it was a tool but I too expected the scale to move a little quicker than it is. I may only lose a half a lb. a week while I see others are losing 3 to 5 lbs. Frustrating to say the least. I really thought I would be done like 40 lbs by now.

I feel the same way. When I dieted in the past, my mode was all-or-nothing. Therefore, I could always lose weight quickly when I watched my calorie intake carefully and did a lot of exercise. I expected my weight loss after being banded to be the same, as long as I did my part. Oddly, it hasn't been, even though like in the past, I have been exercising off far more calories than I have been consuming.

I was banded in Mexico so things are a little different for me. I can't get a fill as often as others for various reasons. One of which is my Doc isn't around the corner. Secondly, my doc does things a little differently than most. He only wants to do 3 or 4 fills in a life time. My first fill was May 21st and they want me to wait at least 2 months before they will see me again. My first fill was only like 3 cc's and I feel very little restrictions. If I take my time, I can eat just as much as I did before surgery in one setting. This isn't what I was hoping for. I know the band is only a tool, but shouldn't I feel sick if I eat that much? Sometimes I too wonder if what I did was worth it. My next fill better be a bit more aggressive as it's not an easy trip to make.

I was told to take a 1/2 hour to eat. I chew my food slowly now, and it never takes me 30 minutes to finish. I don't know if I could eat as much as I used to in one setting, but from what I have read on LBT, I can sure eat more than others do, with no ill effects. I wish I would get some type of signal from my body to let me know when it is satisfied. All I get are growling sounds between meals.

On the positive side, I am losing. SLOWLY, but it is happening. I've gone up and down on the scale with a pound or two but overall the bottom line is I'm down each week. Not what I had hoped for but I'll take it. It shows when I fudge on my diet which usually gets me back on track. Have to stay away from the Cookies and candy.< /p>

I am a Cookies and candy girl, too. I am particular and only like homemade cookies, though, so I haven't made any recently and have not been challenged in that way. Nor have I bought any chocolate candy. However, this week, although my Protein Bars met the diet guidelines I'd been given, I found myself yearning for more than one. I went back to Wal-mart yesterday for more sugar-free, cinnamon Werthers, which seem to provide the "fix" I need and was disappointed to learn they no longer carry them. Guess I'll add them to my list of things to look for when I visit the city.

I know in my heart that I have to stick with it and in the long run it will pay off. I got myself fat and I WILL get this weight off. I just need to be patient.

You are right, and hopefully, once we reach our goals, maintenance won't be as much of a challenge as it has been in the past.

Hope my sharing helps you as much as your sharing helps me.

Your sharing and positive focus helps me immensely! Thank you so much!

I miss hearing from the other Springers who used to post regularly and hope that they are doing well.

[scorpiolady 83]

Yes others in the group seem to have gone silent. I do hope they are all doing well and just lurking in the shadows. Seems like ppl are viewing the posts and just choose not to share. That's ok too. Maybe our posts help them as well.

There was a time when I would weigh myself everyday and then I just decided to stop. Wasn't easy but my mood for the day was based on a number. Ended up more often depressed because it didn't seem to matter how hard I tried, the scale wouldn't budge. Now I swing between daily weigh ins and waiting a few days before I step on. Seems to help and I try very hard to Celebrate even the smallest loss.

Since my surgery I've had a lot of time to think about my own self image. I've lost almost 30 lbs and not one person other than my sisters (who are aware I had WLS) have noticed. I've had to question why this bothers me. Am I more concerned with how others see me, or is my own self image more important. Have I not lost enough for it to even be noticeable? The questions and self doubt can consume me if I let them. I did this for me, not for others and how they see me. I want to feel good in my own skin. Move around without the burden of 50 extra pounds dragging me down. No one but me felt that. They may have seen it, but they didn't feel it. I haven't shared my surgery with hardly anyone, thank goodness. I'm pretty sure they would be watch and waiting for drastic results Silently judging me in the process.

As you know I'm a hair stylist so I work with people everyday. I may only see my clients once every 6 weeks but many times during the year. We share and over time bond with our clients. I found it amazing how the over weight clients seemed to bond with me. We had something in common. On the other hand, my skinny minnies would avoid taking to me about things like their diet or exercise programs feeling like I couldn't relate. Sadly, I can relate to both sides as I wasn't always this heavy. It will be funny to see how this shifts as my body changes. I'll be the same person I am now, but I know I will be treated differently by both groups. I won't even start about the whole dating scene. That's a whole layer cake of dysfunction. Sadly, our society sees heavier people as being weak which is anything but true. We are each determined in our own ways, far stronger than we give ourselves credit for and should be proud of our smallest accomplishment. Yep, I'm proud of my loss but perhaps I need to focus not on what the numbers are but on who I am becoming in this process. I think we will all grow differently on this journey but I feel each of us with transform not only physically but mentally as well. It will be enlightening to watch and share.

Ok, maybe too much coffee this morning and too much alone time to reflect and ramble. Time for Julz to shut down her mind and move into her day.

Back to your regularly scheduled program

cheerio my friends,

j~

[ElizabethAnne 40]

Yes others in the group seem to have gone silent. I do hope they are all doing well and just lurking in the shadows. Seems like ppl are viewing the posts and just choose not to share. That's ok too. Maybe our posts help them as well.

I hope so, too.

There was a time when I would weigh myself everyday and then I just decided to stop. Wasn't easy but my mood for the day was based on a number. Ended up more often depressed because it didn't seem to matter how hard I tried, the scale wouldn't budge. Now I swing between daily weigh ins and waiting a few days before I step on. Seems to help and I try very hard to Celebrate even the smallest loss.

I wish I didn't feel compelled to weigh every day. The humidity is back up this morning, and so is my weight. I can tell I am losing, though, by the fit of my clothes. Or at least that is what I am telling myself. There is no possible way that I could be gaining when I am limiting my calorie intake and walking 10 miles daily.

Since my surgery I've had a lot of time to think about my own self image. I've lost almost 30 lbs and not one person other than my sisters (who are aware I had WLS) have noticed.

I do understand and am experiencing the same thing. Only one person outside of my immediate family has commented on my weight loss.

I've had to question why this bothers me. Am I more concerned with how others see me, or is my own self image more important. Have I not lost enough for it to even be noticeable?

I have wondered exactly the same thing.

The questions and self doubt can consume me if I let them. I did this for me, not for others and how they see me. I want to feel good in my own skin. Move around without the burden of 50 extra pounds dragging me down. No one but me felt that. They may have seen it, but they didn't feel it. I haven't shared my surgery with hardly anyone, thank goodness.

I have shared my surgery with very few people. Mainly because I feared yet another failure. I, too, did it for myself...for my health primarily but my self-esteem has also improved.

As you know I'm a hair stylist so I work with people everyday. I may only see my clients once every 6 weeks but many times during the year. We share and over time bond with our clients. I found it amazing how the over weight clients seemed to bond with me. We had something in common. On the other hand, my skinny minnies would avoid taking to me about things like their diet or exercise programs feeling like I couldn't relate. Sadly, I can relate to both sides as I wasn't always this heavy. It will be funny to see how this shifts as my body changes. I'll be the same person I am now, but I know I will be treated differently by both groups.

I understand exactly what you are saying. I am already treated differently and have wondered if it has to do with my improved self-confidence. Maybe people treat me differently now because I am somewhat less reserved and give them more of an opportunity to interact with me and be nice to me. As an adult, I wasn't treated badly when I was obese (given two exceptions) but rather it was more like I was invisible.

I won't even start about the whole dating scene. That's a whole layer cake of dysfunction. Sadly, our society sees heavier people as being weak which is anything but true.

You are definitely right about our society. I can't even imagine how difficult it would be to navigate the dating scene today.

We are each determined in our own ways, far stronger than we give ourselves credit for and should be proud of our smallest accomplishment. Yep, I'm proud of my loss but perhaps I need to focus not on what the numbers are but on who I am becoming in this process. I think we will all grow differently on this journey but I feel each of us with transform not only physically but mentally as well. It will be enlightening to watch and share.

You've summed up well how I feel. I've lost weight before, lots of weight each time, only to gain it back. This time will hopefully be different from the standpoint that we now have the tool that will help us do our part so that we can stay on-track and consequently not get caught up in a vicious failure cycle.

Ok, maybe too much coffee this morning and too much alone time to reflect and ramble. Time for Julz to shut down her mind and move into her day.

I enjoyed your reflections. Have a terrific evening!

Back to your regularly scheduled program

cheerio my friends,

j~

[gottobeme 81]

Yes others in the group seem to have gone silent. I do hope they are all doing well and just lurking in the shadows. Seems like ppl are viewing the posts and just choose not to share. That's ok too. Maybe our posts help them as well.

I hope so, too.

I'm baaaaack!!!!

There was a time when I would weigh myself everyday and then I just decided to stop. Wasn't easy but my mood for the day was based on a number. Ended up more often depressed because it didn't seem to matter how hard I tried, the scale wouldn't budge. Now I swing between daily weigh ins and waiting a few days before I step on. Seems to help and I try very hard to Celebrate even the smallest loss.

I wish I didn't feel compelled to weigh every day. The humidity is back up this morning, and so is my weight. I can tell I am losing, though, by the fit of my clothes. Or at least that is what I am telling myself. There is no possible way that I could be gaining when I am limiting my calorie intake and walking 10 miles daily.

I like this idea of replying to posts within the post!

Since my surgery I've had a lot of time to think about my own self image. I've lost almost 30 lbs and not one person other than my sisters (who are aware I had WLS) have noticed.

I do understand and am experiencing the same thing. Only one person outside of my immediate family has commented on my weight loss.

I have a story to share along these lines... Last fall many of my co-workers knew I was working with Dean Comprehensive Weight Mgmt Program. A few were very supportive, most said nothing (didn't bother me at all) and another told me one day when I had lost about 20 lbs that she had not noticed any difference. I know her personality and it was not meant to be mean and I didn't take it that way but I was still like "WTF??? Why would you say that to someone? If you don't notice you don't need to say anything at all!" After I had lost about 30 she did mention she could tell I was losing weight.

I've had to question why this bothers me. Am I more concerned with how others see me, or is my own self image more important. Have I not lost enough for it to even be noticeable?

I have wondered exactly the same thing.

For me most people did not start to say things until I had lost about 50 lbs. I started at (5'4") 270 lbs. so I'm guessing the heavier you are the longer it takes for people to notice. It seems like after you hit a certain point more and more people start commenting on your weight loss. I think sometimes they are just not really sure what is different about you and afraid to say something just in case the accidentally insult you.

The questions and self doubt can consume me if I let them. I did this for me, not for others and how they see me. I want to feel good in my own skin. Move around without the burden of 50 extra pounds dragging me down. No one but me felt that. They may have seen it, but they didn't feel it. I haven't shared my surgery with hardly anyone, thank goodness.

I have shared my surgery with very few people. Mainly because I feared yet another failure. I, too, did it for myself...for my health primarily but my self-esteem has also improved.

I think most of you know I have shared my journey/surgery with just about everyone who will listen. For me I have decided this is a good way for me to stay accountable. I understand this is not an approach that will work for everyone. I am sure to tell people it is only a tool and I can still gain all the weight back if I do not use it correctly.

As you know I'm a hair stylist so I work with people everyday. I may only see my clients once every 6 weeks but many times during the year. We share and over time bond with our clients. I found it amazing how the over weight clients seemed to bond with me. We had something in common. On the other hand, my skinny minnies would avoid taking to me about things like their diet or exercise programs feeling like I couldn't relate. Sadly, I can relate to both sides as I wasn't always this heavy. It will be funny to see how this shifts as my body changes. I'll be the same person I am now, but I know I will be treated differently by both groups.

I understand exactly what you are saying. I am already treated differently and have wondered if it has to do with my improved self-confidence. Maybe people treat me differently now because I am somewhat less reserved and give them more of an opportunity to interact with me and be nice to me. As an adult, I wasn't treated badly when I was obese (given two exceptions) but rather it was more like I was invisible.

There are a few people who treat me better now that I have lost weight....not people I cared much for before...so I take it with a grain of salt. I second the invisible feeling.

I won't even start about the whole dating scene. That's a whole layer cake of dysfunction. Sadly, our society sees heavier people as being weak which is anything but true.

You are definitely right about our society. I can't even imagine how difficult it would be to navigate the dating scene today.

I have been married 22 years...I think we could use some counseling. We get along fine but some things are greatly lacking, even with the weight loss...That's all I will say.

We are each determined in our own ways, far stronger than we give ourselves credit for and should be proud of our smallest accomplishment. Yep, I'm proud of my loss but perhaps I need to focus not on what the numbers are but on who I am becoming in this process. I think we will all grow differently on this journey but I feel each of us with transform not only physically but mentally as well. It will be enlightening to watch and share.

You've summed up well how I feel. I've lost weight before, lots of weight each time, only to gain it back. This time will hopefully be different from the standpoint that we now have the tool that will help us do our part so that we can stay on-track and consequently not get caught up in a vicious failure cycle.

I am also on somewhat of a spiritual journey with this WLS journey so I can relate to transforming mentally as well as physically.

Ok, maybe too much coffee this morning and too much alone time to reflect and ramble. Time for Julz to shut down her mind and move into her day.

I enjoyed your reflections. Have a terrific evening!

A great post to come back to after my hiatus!

Back to your regularly scheduled program

cheerio my friends,

j~

[scorpiolady 83]

Welcome back Gotta!

[ElizabethAnne 40]

I'm baaaaack!!!!

Sure glad that you're back!

I have a story to share along these lines... Last fall many of my co-workers knew I was working with Dean Comprehensive Weight Mgmt Program. A few were very supportive, most said nothing (didn't bother me at all) and another told me one day when I had lost about 20 lbs that she had not noticed any difference. I know her personality and it was not meant to be mean and I didn't take it that way but I was still like "WTF??? Why would you say that to someone? If you don't notice you don't need to say anything at all!" After I had lost about 30 she did mention she could tell I was losing weight.

She doesn't sound like a very positive person. Maybe she's envious of your success.

For me most people did not start to say things until I had lost about 50 lbs. I started at (5'4") 270 lbs. so I'm guessing the heavier you are the longer it takes for people to notice. It seems like after you hit a certain point more and more people start commenting on your weight loss. I think sometimes they are just not really sure what is different about you and afraid to say something just in case the accidentally insult you.

I agree. I myself do not comment on someone's weight loss unless I am FOR SURE they have lost weight. In the past, when people asked if I had lost weight and I hadn't, I didn't take offense but I was embarrassed that I hadn't. I would never want to make someone feel uncomfortable.

I think most of you know I have shared my journey/surgery with just about everyone who will listen. For me I have decided this is a good way for me to stay accountable. I understand this is not an approach that will work for everyone. I am sure to tell people it is only a tool and I can still gain all the weight back if I do not use it correctly.

I admire your courage.

I have been married 22 years...I think we could use some counseling. We get along fine but some things are greatly lacking, even with the weight loss...That's all I will say.

If I were you, I would seek counseling and try to get your husband to go as well. I write "try" because sometimes men are wary of counselors and are reluctant to go for a variety of reasons. Most will stick with it if you can get them through the door.

I am also on somewhat of a spiritual journey with this WLS journey so I can relate to transforming mentally as well as physically.

Good for you!

A great post to come back to after my hiatus!

Thanks for posting! Since I live in the boonies, I rely on this forum as my support group, so it's helpful to read your thoughts.