Did You Keep Your Surgery A Secret?

[yourshoesareuntied 50]

(My thoughts regarding people who are close too you that come off negative)

When people go to a extreme measure to better themselves, sometimes loved ones may feel left behind, or intimated by the new you that will soon be. They may have insecurities that have in some way latched onto yours and now that your moving on, it has left them more exposed. I think it's important to see the "loved ones" negative response for what it is. If needed talk to them about it, call them out and let them know you will still be you. Think about it... If your a lady...and you and your sister always traded outfits together and now your going to be too small to trade it may make her feel left behind, not because of the clothes but it is a tanagable difference that can no longer be shared. If my brother and I both get winded after walking down range to setup targets and now I'm not... It's sorta a slap in his face. If my wife and I were always big together and now I'm fit and trim she may worry that I won't find her attractive anymore. (that won't happen baby) one of the post in the (men's room) mentioned his hunting buddy gives him a hard time because he can't eat his deer steaks anymore... Its possible he really enjoyed preparing them to share with you and now because of your band you have to refuse, it may hurt his feelings so because he's a dude he just returns fire.. anyway it not always just your change.

[Rojasanoll 920]

I have told a few people and my immediate family (sister,mom, dad). 90% are for it and wish for me to succeed. A few were negative of a foreign object in my body, surgery, and discomfort to me. I told them I can handle any pain and I will be healthier for my family and for my friends. Band date is Aug 6.

[Marsela 3]

I REALLY advise u to consider the persons personality. Negative people respond negatively and are very ignorant with no desire to get informed. I learned even b4 surgery i lose better without a captive audience. Weird but id much rather post my progress here & in other weight loss forums where i get support regardless. If they find it i will explain bcuz if they r on the site they want info, right?

[maegan 51]

I told my friends and family. I told some coworkers too because they are always making Snacks and goodies that I used to eat....suddenly I had to decline because I was on my pre op liquid diet! Everyone has been very supportive. It is also easier for them to understand when yiu can't eat somethin that they have cooked and want you to share!

[KanesMom 44]

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories and advice!

[Mom2many 33]

At first just my family knew and a couple of co-workers. But I think my kids ratted me out at their school, which is run by our church lol. So now if people ask I am open about it. I won't ever lie about it. Not sure how I'd feel about posting it on Facebook etc, but it a one on one situation I'm happy to discuss it.

[sman342 13]

I didn't tell anyone - only my spouse. Even my kids think I visited a friend overnight on surgery day.

More than being "ashamed" that I had WLS, it's about how I feel being overweight to begin with. Some people are quite forthcoming with their weight, "Ugh, I gotta lose this gut." or "I love Biggest Loser" or "I just started a diet."

I'm so self-conscious about my weight, I am never comfortable lamenting about it, as if it is a secret that I am fat.

So when it came to surgery - I didn't tell anyone. Just not comfortable with people knowing.

Now - that I am on WLS diet, I simply say I'm avoiding carbs, or refuse the food. No, thank you, I'm good.

You don't owe an explanation to anyone.

[lassie 247]

I only told a few people. I am afraid of the comments about everything I put in my mouth or if for some reason this doesnt work for me. I have only lost 10 pounds so far, not been filled at all yet, but I am nervous. A lot of surgeries and such never seem to work for me, I am always the one sick or with issues, so I am afraid this wont work either!

It does work you hang in there and do not give up, we are all pulling for you God Bless

Lassie

[Anume 937 314]

Only a small hand full of ppl know like my boss , my parents , sisters ,best friend, and two aunts . Everybody else I didn't tell it's none of their concern

[jessasmile78 6]

My immediate family and a couple of close friends know. I didn't tell anyone at work my weight loss has been slow enough and I waited so long to get my first fill that I haven't been faced with the questions yet, but when I go back to work in September I might have a few people notice.

[thunderbeast77 59]

I was very public about it because I am very well known to a large group of people because of my participation in a particular music scene and I had a very public battle with drugs several years ago. I was not nearly as fat then as I am now but the only time I've lost a significant amount of weight in the past was because of that. (

So, knowing that the way I'd be eating after lap band especially in small amount and that'd I'd probably be dropping weight rather quickly I figure I should make it public rather than let speculation of drug use even be an issue or topic for the rumor mill.

Also I'm a pretty open person in general and don't know why I'd keep this a secret.

I am lucky to have received an onslaught of support and good wishes and an incredibly helpful network of people. I only have one big outspoken critic of my decision and it's a "friend" of mine that is extremely overweight herself and big into the whole fat power movement and I suppose views me as a traitor of sorts. She apparently thinks that I need to just love and accept myself more, but she fails to see that those are the reasons I chose to do this. On some level vanity plays a part but the bigger issue is I do love myself, which is why I dont wanna lose a foot to diabetes or have a stroke or drop dead from a heart attack.

Ultimately it's your decision who you tell, and in my experience most people will be happy for you but don't be surprised if you have some haters and critics along the way.... But hey that's just life!

[thunderbeast77 59]

Also I intern at a small assisted living facility for people who are affected by AIDS, my "Job" is basically kicking it and being a friend and support person to the residents, and the staff and I decided I should be open with the residents as severe weight loss in that world ussually means some one is getting sicker, so it would be less traumatic and less cause of alarm for my residents. All my boys (residents) tend to really internalize and worry for the staff if they think somethin is wrong which takes focus of their health issues that they need to be addressing so I've been very open at work too because of what I do. Uhhhhh so yeah hope this deluge of info is helpful haha.

[ulookmahvelous 1]

Unfortunately, people have strong opinions about WLS. I am not ready for stereotypes or people who are misinformed.

I told one person the night before my surgery and she begged me not to have it done. Little did she know.... This has been a lifelong journey and an 11 year process trying to get insurance approval. My closest friend knows and my immediate family knows. That's about it. I realized that telling people doesn't help me with accountability it actually hinders me. I spent energy that I shouldn't have had to, being frustrated the night before surgery. I am 2 weeks post op tomorrow and have lost 13 lbs.

[Mystie 146]

I've told my husband, my immediate family, and a few friends. I also told a few people at work, so of course a ton of people there know now, but that's not too bad of a thing. Since our insurance covers it, there's at least 7 people on my floor that I know of that had WLS. I'm going to the shore with my husband's family this weekend and I'm gonna try not saying anything about it. They're all thin so I'm not sure they'd understand completely, but they'll probably be supportive. I'm going to make a public fb announcement on the day of my last pre-op program visit, Thanksgiving Eve.

I'm a little nervous about telling one of my oldest friends, because I think while she'll be super happy for me, she's going to feel really jealous and sorry for herself, and I don't want her to feel bad. Growing up, we were both very heavy, very tall and blonde, so people always asked if we were sisters. I seem to have accomplished a lot that I know she wants for herself... a house (albeit a mobile home), a good-paying job great job, a child, etc. When she finds out I'm going to lose a ton of weight now, too, she'll probably be really sad that she can't have WLS, too. I know she's been wanting to for years.

[TriciaLN 177]

At first I just told my immediate family. Then slowly I started letting a few more people in. I held off telling my husbands side because we didn't want my mother in law to worry. We finally told them a week before my surgery was scheduled. Her reaction was as expected..."Ohhhh Tricia!! Don't do that!!!" I completely understand where she is coming from, but it just seemed to take a little joy out of my GREAT news!! As I kept letting more people in on what I was planning I started not liking people reactions. Some would comment briefly and then quickly move on as if they didn't know what to say at all. It felt like a "poor fat tricia has to have this done" kinda look. It could have been just me, but I told my hubby I wasn't going to tell anyone anymore. If they asked...then I would tell. Guess it's different for everyone.