Expecting Too much

[bandayed 0]

OK I've tried my best to be a good bandster. I've eaten Protein first, I work out whenever I can, I have kissed bread, steak, soda and beer goodbye. I have really learned to live peacefully with my band. My scales show 50 lbs gone. Yeah! Here's my problem: very few people have noticed this weight loss. Most of my clothes still fit too -- except the fattest of the fatty stuff. I feel like I have made the commitment, done alot of work, and the cosmetic results are not coming. I know I am healthier, I know I feel better. I'm not just fluffing those two MAJOR things off; but at the same time, I am waiting for the "looking good" part. Am I expecting too much? DH of course loves the way I am looking and frequently compliments me -- God Bless him -- he is so supportive. I am just wanting people on the street to be stopping me and saying I used to know someone who looked like you, but she was heavy........I kow I am still a big girl, but I've never lost this much weight before and I just thought the results would be a little more rewarding. Is anyone else in the same boat?

[PhotoNut 7]

Me! Me! Ooo Ooo! Me! *jumps up and down waving her arms*

I was just whining to Dawg this morning about this. I've lost almost 50 pounds and I'm only down one pant size. I can tell they are loose but dang.. WHEN oh WHEN will the real visual rewards start appearing? I have so far to go though. I'm trying to be patient, really I am.

You know what though? I was always one who could carry more weight without people noticing because I gain all over equally. Maybe the loss is all over too. You know? Maybe it won't be a drastic change until we suddenly slip on a pair of size 9 jeans. *chuckles*

Hang in there.. you know you're losing. You're doing the right things. Ohh.. and I just thought of something else. We are not only fat on the outside, our organs are full of fat too. So maybe you're getting your insides right before the outsides start? Yeah, I know, I'm fishing now. There are so many "could be's" in this thing. Fact is though, if you keep doing what you're doing.. You WILL see the pay off!

[DonnaB 3]

Ohhh. Don't be discouraged. Fifty pounds is awesome!

Mark my words - next week (or the week after if they're REALLY oblivious, lol) EVERYONE will notice and say something nice. AND the mailman will hit on you! So sayeth your soothesayer Madame BellaDonna. :moony: You'll see.

[Rockin' Robyn 15]

I'm so glad you posted this...I have felt exactly the same way. I still keep hanging onto the hope that people/friends that DON'T know I have had WLS will ask me 'have you lost a little weight?' That is still yet to happen, and I am down by 117. Now of course I have over 230 pounds to lose, so I guess it is to be somewhat expected. I have lost just 50% of my excess weight....so my husband pointed out to me, it would be like a 180 pound person wanting to get down to 150 pounds, and having only lost half (15) pounds, you wouldn't really notice. I don't know if I buy that or not, but it sounds good in theory. The only people to this day that ever mention me looking good or losing weight are the people that know I have had WLS....which I don't want to discount-their compliments still feel good. But for some reason in my silly little mind, it would mean so much more if someone who didn't know my little secret would notice the changes in me;)

[PhotoNut 7]

OOooo! Donna bribed the mailman! LOL

[DOC 0]

Susan,

Boy can I relate.... I moved to Florida and then had the surgery so it doesn't matter because no one around here knew me anyway LOL

I have gone down two sizes, but I am doing Water aerobics 4 days a week and swimming and or biking/walking on the other days. It really has worked at losing inches.

I am flying up to NY for a family party in April and I can't wait to see the reaction!

I'll Keep you posted!

PS...... I saw a sign down here in the post office to watch out for some skinny chick that is knocking the post over in their tracks!!!!!

[Wheetsin 714]

Oh my I thought you crawled into my brain for a minute.

When near my highest weight, it takes 60 - 65 lbs for there to be a noticeable difference. What I've found is that as soon as I hit that threshhold, *bam* - I'm like 2 or 3 sizes smaller, even though the week before I could wear my fat pants.

When I was on Atkins, no one said anything for the longest time, and about 65#. Then - I swear - I showed up to work one Monday morning and *everyone* was like - "OMG!? What did you do this weekend? Have you been on a diet? You look great! Did I not see you Friday?" It was literally an overnight thing, so it seems.

[Jachut 487]

And of course, plenty of people may have been thinking maybe you lost some weight, but not said anything.

[princess_n_thep 2]

I have a similar, yet different issue too. I have lost 60 lbs and I DO see a difference in the actual clothing size and people DO say they notice it.... My problem is that I JUST DON'T SEE IT! I feel like I look as fat as I did the day of the surgery. So I can understand that it may be frustrating. Just keep hanging in there and hope it all gets better soon. I know that no one seemed to notice my loss and then all of a sudden people were "wow" and "whoa" at me. And I just look at them like their nuts. Whoa what? I dont see a thing!

[CCBSTX 0]

That's funny, I was thinking the same thing around 50 lbs. The only folks that would comment, were those who knew I had WLS. I felt it was them giving me positive reinforcement!

The true compliment would be when folks, that I didn't tell would give me compliments.

Well, it happened! Last weekend, I saw my husband's coworkers at an amusement park-for company day. The next workday, they were coming into my husband's office. "What happened to Shawn, she has lost sooo much weight. She looks terrific!" Every single person, that had seen me walked into his office. They said they didn't know what to say and were shocked at the time, to say it to me. I've down almost 65 pounds now.

Just wait, your time will come!!!!

Shawn

[bandayed 0]

I know you guys are of course right -- if I take even a second to think about it LOGICALLY I know what's going on. Emotionally though, I guess I just didn't expect to feel so mediocre about something that I've wanted to do for so long, and am finally doing.................

[Wheetsin 714]

I feel like I look as fat as I did the day of the surgery.

This is a HUGE struggle. And unfortunate, too. :hat: A good friend of mine had RNY and lost almost 200 lbs. She's a sz 10 now. When we go out people check her out because she's cute and spunky. She'll lean over to me and ask if I think so-and-so is staring at her because she's fat. She has no clue what she looks like, even though she sees herself in the mirror. She can see the different in her before & after pictures, but doesn't "feel" like her pictures "look". She asked me one day why a group of guys were staaring at her, if her shirt had tucked into a fat roll, and I had to remind her -- nope, you're just the cute blonde now!

I do the exact same thing. It's very hard.

[Xann77 0]

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!!!! HALT, STOP RIGHT THERE! YOU ARE FORGETTING SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT. LOTS, and I mean LOTS of people don't feel comfortable telling someone, "whoa, you look great, you must have lost a TON of weight" because they think it's rude because it implies that you were fat to begin with! I think all of us bandsters are SOOO used to discussing things that we used to think were really sensitive and personal -- weight, indigestion, fill injections, doctors appointments, PBing for godssakes! -- that we have become pretty DESENSITIZED and hardly even think of those things as taboo or impolite to discuss anymore!

I know that when I've lost weight before -- even just 20 pounds -- the secretaries in my office would all sort of look at me but not say anything. And then a few of them finally said, "hey, you look great. I hope it doesn't offend you and I didn't know if I should say anything but you've definitely lost a lot of weight!" And I was like, "oh my gosh no! you're not offending me! compliment away!!!"

So please please PLEASE remember that people are almost DEFINITELY noticing -- you simply cannot lose 50 POUNDS and not look different -- most of them are probably just uncomfortable with complimenting you. The ones that ARE comfortable talking about it are usually your family/friends and alot of times, they're just plain old jealous anyway (OR they see you all the time so it's not as drastic to them). The good compliments come from strangers but lots of times, strangers don't want to say anything!