Introducing Myself! (A Bit Long)

[LoriW188 14]

Hello Everyone!

I am excited to be starting my LapBand Journey and ready to share my story with you all.

My journey started two years ago, I was 23 recently divorced from my high school sweetheart and mother to an 18 month old. I had lost our marital home, every "friend" I had and was at wits end at what the next step was in my life. I had trouble sleping, ate everything in sight that I could, sunk into a huge depression and thought that surgery was the light at the end of my tunnel. Flash forward about six weeks after my initial consultation with one surgeon and I decided this wasn't for me.

Life got even more hectic for me as I had to swallow my pride and move back in with my very loving, but crazy parents; and file bankruptcy. I was working full-time trying to be super-mom, super-daughter helping my parents, super-employee, super-sister, friend - the list goes on. ME? Well, I got lost in the shuffle and lost control and hit my highest weight. At my highest, in the summer of 2010, my grandmother (Dad's mom) had gotten extremely sick and passed July 5, 2010 from every kind of cancer you can get in your midsection - stomach to ovarian. Once again, I got pushed aside and became strength for my father; as his youngest daughter I though it was my place to keep him happy and have as much time with him and my mom and my son together as possible. Things were getting back to normal and a friend of mine, also a personal trainer, had re-entered my life and we starting working out together. I had lost about 20 pounds and was feeling pretty good about myself. And then life slapped me in the face once more: May 8, 2011 my father was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. There went me focusing on me, again.

I changed everything in my life to now be the rock my parents needed as our family fought the tough battle ahead. The next few months would go by so fast between surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, and all that comes with that. By December of 2011 I had drastically cut my hours at work to take care of my father while my mother worked, and we basically tag-teamed his care so that we didn't need outside help. This crazy way of life led to awful eating habits, no social life, basically just Dad, work, son! That lasted until May 7, 2012 when my Dad passed away. A complete shock even though a year prior we knew the diagnosis was terminal.

So now... it's two months since his passing changed my world once more and I have decided that it is FINALLY my time. I no longer have to worry about being "super-everything," my only focus needs to be on taking care of myself so I can be a BETTER mother, friend, sister, daughter, employee, woman!

I went to a seminar last week and fell in love with the group and the surgeon. I am sure that this journey is right for me. Previously, it was the right journey but just at the wrong time. I have been through so much in the last few years and in between all of that have tried everything from WW to Dr. prescribed diet pills, to shakes, to personal trainers, to stress tests, thyroid tests - everything to try to get my weight under control. I know now that I cannot fight this battle alone and I need this tool to keep me moving towards my goal of healthy and happy!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my insurance company will provide coverage and will find out at my initial consultation for sure next Friday, July 20th. I have been lurking on these boards the past few months and can't wait to share my journey with you all!

Thanks for reading!

Lori

[difa 114]

Good Luck on your journey! Welcome to LBT! You will succeed! Thanks for sharing your story!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Best wishes on your journey and welcome!!

[Short and Chunky 230]

Welcome Lori - you have sure been through a lot. I hope all goes well with your visits (and your insurance). I pray that this is something that will help you. Warning - this is not always the silver bullet. This can make you depressed ( can't eat like you used too - exercise very important - etc). You sound as though you may not be in a good place yet and this may be a bit too much. Be sure you enter this with the proper expectations. I am much older than you but went through the death of a parent just prior to my surgery so I understand the "wonderwoman" part. This is still hard work and sometimes you can get down so make sure you understand that part. I was banded just over a year ago - my dad died the year before that. Weight was a contributing factor to his death therefore a motivator to me - I am down 102 pounds with about 40 more to go. If you are sure you head and your heart are in the right place - good luck and stay in touch.

Melinda in Florida

[LoriW188 14]

Thank you, Melinda. It's definitely been something that I have thought about. I've seen a therapist for three years on a weekly basis and the surgery alone has been topic of discussion for some time now. I know that I will be making huge changes and be giving up some things, but I know what I will gain in the end is worth it.

It's funny, talking to my sister about this process she said to me, "i say go for it, I'd take the easy way out too." My jaw dropped - it's crazy to see how people think a surgery and altering your entire lifestyle is the "easy way out". I've never imagined this journey to be easy, but I know it will be a huge help and a great tool.

[NWgirl 574]

It seems like your path has taken a long time to get to its destination, but you're here and focusing on you. I'm sorry about the loss of your father, and hope that you can find support and guidance here.

[adorkbl 156]

Sorry for your losses. It took me a few years to finally focus on me. Sounds like you are there. Like another poster mentioned... it takes a lot of work, make sure your brain is on board!!

[Jim1967 3,569]

Hi Lori, Welcome and sorry for your loss. I am going through some of this myself. Three years ago my father was diagnosed with lung cancer and during the preop testing they did to prepare to remove the lung they discovered more cancer in the prostate and bladder. They took out the lower lobe of his lung then sent him off to chemo to see if that would help the bladder and prostate. After 12 weeks of chemo no such luck. 6 months later he had major surgery and had his bladder removed. He was pronounced cancer free 6 months later. Fast forward to last week we found out the cancer has returned to the same lung but this time at the stem. They are still testing to see what options if any exist. Poor man has been through a lot in 3 years and is very tired. I am not ready to give up on him yet but how much more can one give and how much more can be asked of him. Heart attack followed by triple bypass and a couple of major bouts with cancer. All in the last 10 years.

Such a horrible, horrible disease...

Sorry I rambled. I am not trying to hijack your thread. Again welcome, and I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

- Jim

[LoriW188 14]

Thanks, Jim! Not apology needed, not rambling. I know what you're going through and it isn't easy. It's hard to watch the people we love suffer so much - you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

[taylor94 9]

Hello Lori

Welcome to the site....I am also new to the site....I have looked at weight loss surgery for years....but I was told I wan't heavy enough for bypass....I thought that was a total joke....I am self pay I was banded on July 9th 2012 so day 4....and I am just starting to feel better....

I have had successes in the past with Weight Watchers and Dr Berstein(Vitamin injections and low fat food) however tradgedy happened on Oct 30th 2010 after I had lost almost 80lbs my daughter was hit by a car and passed away 2 days later....my whole life had ended...I ate and drank for almost 18 months...hitting my highest weight of 275lbs. I also made this decision for ME I have been doing things for everyone my whole life....my parents were divorced when I was 4 so I was always the mom helper...

My husband was NOT happy with my decision at first...we went marriage counselling to discuss my reasons....and although he didn't want me to do this....he is being totally supportive....

I am happy with the decsion that I have made...and I have lost 23lbs so far...19 during the pre op diet...

good luck with the insurance approval....

Message me anytime...

Kelly

[Short and Chunky 230]

Kelly - congratulations on your surgery and your weight loss You are doing great and I am glad you are starting to feel better. In a day or two you won't even know you had surgery - you will be feeling so good. I am so sorry for your loss. Loosing a child, I just cannot imagine your pain. But, it sounds like you are taking control of your life once again and are on the road to better health. My husband was not on board with this proceedure either, but he came around and is now my biggest cheerleader (eat slower, careful - your bites are too big). Hehehe. Glad you are on this site as the support here is fantastic. I have been on here about 1 1/2 yrs and I am 1 yr post op. Whenever you need support come here - the folks on this site will kick your butt when you need it and build your confidence back. They also cheer the big and little victories with your too. Keep up the good work - really proud of you.

Melinda in Florida

[gaiagal 5]

I'm so sorry for your loss...I lost my father to brain cancer as well. There are no words to describe how devastating it is to lose a parent. Good luck on your journey...it's YOUR time now :-)

[ready4animprovedme 54]

I could've teared up reading your thread. You're an amazing woman and you've come thus far, you can accomplish anything! Good luck!

[readytogoforit 172]

Please make the commitment to YOU! You can do this, you can be successful but you have to take care of yourself, all the time.

Life is still going to happen. Bad things come into our lives all the time. We have to stop using food as a "FIX" for pain. Trust me I am including myself too.

The biggest change I made just before surgery was taking a class at church. It was a class where we looked back at who we were and who we have believed we were. We forgave ourselves for all the "junk" and believe that God forgives us. I ceremoniously burned the past and all the lies I believed about myself. It was so rewarding.I am sorry if I am getting too religious, it just helped me so much. I have disliked ME for so long, I didn't put myself first as far as health and wellness was concerned.

i don't know if I would have been able to succeed with a gastric band if I hadn't "fallen" into this class!!!!

Life still happens. Recently my son basically told me he hates me. this is extremely painful but, he needs to feel this stuff and move on. I have to believe I have been forgiven. I've told him I am sorry for past wrongs, I can't do anymore. He will come around when he has worked out all his feelings & that's alright.

This was huge for me. Luckily, I now have a support group from church. I talked to someone, cried and felt better. I can only take care of me and pray that he will forgive. I will be nothing if I do not take care of my health, I am not crumbling & bingeing.

This is the first time I have even talked about this! Whew, not easy to do!!!

[Ladybandito 516]

Lori, will keep you in my prayers ... And Ready, you too. Thank you both for sharing your stories here because we all learn something from them. Lori, I had some similar challenges with parents and family, I think many of us who are/have been overweight have a tendency to forget our "selves" now and then while caring for others. In one of my classes, it is mandatory to recall at the end of the day at least 1 thing done just for me. It can be a simple thing (took 30 mins of alone time), but there must be something. I think it reaffirms that we, too, are important! Prayers and lots of love sent your way. You'll love the band... I put mine off for far too long!