Got 1st negative remark...

NeenBand · March 16, 2006

I was really struck by the unkindness of your friend's remark, and that she has given you backhanded remarks about your body before. Many people hide animosity or insults in humor, thinking that is an acceptable way of getting away with it.

In any case, it sounds as if your friend resents you in a "female way" and has for a while. Since you cherish your friendship, I would sit her down alone and talk to her about it. Get it out in the open so she can come clean about the jealousy and resentment she has toward you, and find out why and where it's coming from, so she can work on it and save your friendship. Let her know it hurts you and that you are noticing it, because believe me, as you lose more weight, this will get worse.

I hate to say this, but I have always judged my true friends by how happy they are for me when something good happens in my life. I think true love never resents anything good for a friend. True, loyal, loving friends, life is too short to spend with anything less than that.

gadgetlady · March 16, 2006

Definite jealousy and protectiveness. Next time she brings the issue up (and it seems she will from past history), say "You clearly have a problem because you seem focused on my breast size. Have you ever considered implants?"

SherryW · March 16, 2006

NO doubt in my mind she was upset that her DH paid attention to your figure! She's not thinking that they are with you and your DH all the time so he would notice. I'd listen to his compliment and ignore her catty remark. Feel bad for her because she's that insecure and instead of turning her insecurities around, like you did about your weight, she's finding it in making snide remarks to those she supposedly loves. I'm sure her hubby heard it later too lol.

Believe me, I've been there but, it was my MIL this past weekend. When my DH was telling his mom that he and I have lost weight, she cut him off and announced she lost 7 pounds without him finishing his sentence. (This is definately one person I wouldn't share my surgery journey with and swore my DH to secrecy.) MIL usually makes a comment as soon as she sees my DH..."My you've gained weight" but did she happen to notice he's lost around 15, of course she did but, didn't have anything nice to say about it. When he told her he lost 15 and I've lost 22 she just stated again how well she's done and then told him she needed him to fix her computer and change the house filters. Mind you we live 6 hours away and just got there! No "you look like you've lost" no "how was your trip". UGH I was fuming but, was nice since she is my MIL. Every time we go there it never fails that he leaves feeling like chit. When we left on Sunday to come home he received no thank you for the help, instead she turns to me and says "WE still need to lose alot more weight don't we Sherry" My chin must of dropped. I just said goodbye and left. YESSSSS I do need to lose weight but, she's the LAST person I need to hear that from especially since I just got banded on 2/13 and I happen to think I'm doing pretty well at losing 22 so far. UGH People never cease to amaze me with their caddy remarks. Love her because she's my MIL but, DH and I have decided that NOT going there to visit as often is in our best interest right now. Why go just to feel like crap when you leave?

Good luck with your friend and know that you're are workin it babe! You're going to be a hot mama and then what will she be thinking hahahaha