Marriage & Lap Band Results

[IamBeauti 4]

My husband is my #1 cheerleader as he has always been with all my weight loss solutions. But I feel deep down inside the weight loss will affect our marriage because he loves my curves. When I meet my husband I weighed 185 and after dating I weighed 236. Five months after we got married I found out I was pregnant and had a horrible pregnancy I lost and gained weigh so much after the baby was born I weighed 205. But my daughter is now 2 years old and durning that time the most i've weighed was 279 pounds I am now 262 pounds but I believe it's because I elimaninated fast food and soda's from my intake. But I know the weight will come back as it has in the past but I wanted to know how do married couples deal with such a issue. Since it is like being with someone new (physically) and the attraction from others will soon happen. How do you handle or deal with such a good problem "weight loss"?

[PattyGirl66 1,243]

My husband and I are great team players. We root for eachother no matter what. He is my best friend, so we both count on eachother for moral support, etc. He met me when I was a big gal (around 285), I am pretty sure it was my ditzyness that captivated him, LOL.

He has seen me litterally fall apart, health wise. He thinks this is a very good decision I have made to get healthy. We still have at times discuss what not to bring in the house so that I don't get tempted. (we don't have any children that live with us) so no snackies are around. I am sure once i am banded he will see how difficult it will be for me and hopefully I won't have to keep remininding him not to bring cake and goodies in the house. He 'sneaks' them in occassionaly (but hides them), hahaha.

I can't really answer your last question because I am not banded yet, however I have lost a lot of weight while dating him and it never seems to phase him as far as how different he would act towards me. He is very affectionate to me at all sizes, I mean really he has seen all of me and I always said if he hasn't ran by now now....

[SageTracey 608]

My husband misses some of my curves but agrees that the overall benefits are definitely worth it.

[luv2eat 11]

My husband is supportive but there is times when I wonder if he deep down has reservations. I have lost almost half of my size. I feel different to him. Overall he loves the new me but sometimes he will comment about liking the old me too. I do get scared but I am happy with the new me.

[fericito 138]

My dh's big fear is I won't like him - we've had several friends who ended up divorced after one or both had wls. We have a good solid marriage and we love each other and we're committed. I will always love him and since he's loved me through thick and thin (literally) I know it'll be ok. I love him the same too. I am sure it's emotional for everyone but you're still YOU and so hopefully it will all work out. I think the trouble comes when someone forgets that you're still YOU - be that you or him. My own dh is actually pretty excited to see the changes in me and it's making him work on some of his own which I love too.

[♕ajtexas♕ 3,771]

My husband is my biggest cheerleader. I will say that our sex life is improving greatly.....50 pounds lighter makes a big difference. I was big when we met and he has always said that he loves everything about me, not just the physical appearance. I could not of done this without his support and I know he will be beside me all the way.

[addunaway 24]

My husband is my biggest supporter too. We have been married 14 years now and I've always been big he had always said my wieght don't bother him I'm very thankful for that. I weighed 365 pounds before I started my new life on 6/5 and he keeps tell me how proud he is of me and he can tell I'm loosing. I weighed this morning and I'm down to 295.6. I keep telling him that I'm bless to have him in my life and I don't know what I do with out him because I don't think I could do this with out him. He is my work out buddy too. It's funny cause he only wiegh 130 I keep tell him dont do everyday cause he don't need to loose lol.

[Jachut 487]

I have to say it, although i know i shouldnt, obesity is not "curves" . That is not what a norml, healthy woman is meant to be. Curves and healthy weight are not mutually exclusive. So...i get tat a man might b physically drawn to women with more breast and hip than a tall, thin woman might have, but being so drawn to large amounts of flab to the point where a relationship is affected by its lost, thats not being attracted to curves, thats fulfilling other selfish needs.

I mean, jeez, my hubby stuck by me, never wavered whilst i spent nine months with an ileostomy. We got jiggy regularly with a bag of poo hanging off my belly. If i were brned or disfigured or lost a breast, he would still love me and i can say the same for myself were it him. What he or i look like and whether we are each others ideal type ceased to matter within weeks of the relationsip.

So yo say that something as superficial as excess flab could matter that much, well if he loves you, youre probably selling him short and just letting your (very natural) fear and insecurity over the big changes youre facing take over, and if it ould truly make a difference, well, theres problems there.

Thats not To say that men cant be childish, petulant, jealous of your success or insecure about your confidence. But only to a point is that tolerable.

[pcosmommyof4 13]

My husband stuck with me through multiple of health conditions that got me to 300 pounds. The man had to pack my bikini line inscision twice, once for three months, once for six months. I know he has learned to love my obeseness, he is already noticing my smaller breast. I figure it gives him a new body to look at and explore. I think where couples struggle is the new found self confidence in the one that has lost the weight. After we loose the weight, more people will notice us and more temptations will be available. We however uphhold a biblical marriage and have been bffs since 14. When we married we agreed that divorce just wasnt an option and is not in our vocabulary. If you are having issues I would start therapy.together and learn differen positions.

[Courtney Danielle 6]

I fell as my marriage will get better once i lose a lot of weight, I was 255...three weeks post now im down to 230, i just got to the point of not even sleeping in the same bed, i don't feel sexy anymore, we have been together 15 yrs, i was 150 lbs when we meet, then sex was great, then over the years it has declined down to a couple of times a year! And it's not him its me, so i had the surgery to get healthy plus get my marriage back on track...I just want to feel sexy again!

[Kate rules 43]

My husband and I have never been happier. He loved me when I was obese but when it comes to curves, I have more shape now than I did 65 pounds ago! I have a waist. It is true that my breasts are smaller now but a 34DD is respectable and not out of proportion with my body. He was, at first, apprehensive about the surgery but was supportive and went to all of my appointments.

If you anticipate problems my suggestion is to take yourself to counseling to work on any issues you may be having. I was intensely insecure about myself and therapy really helped me through that. Hubby can come along if you want sometimes. I believe, and this is just IMHO, that the lapband is just as much a psychological change as it is a physiological alteration. There is an expectation that things will change.

Best wishes to you. BTW - my photo is from our 12th anniversary dinner. :-)

[IamBeauti 4]

My husband is supportive but there is times when I wonder if he deep down has reservations. I have lost almost half of my size. I feel different to him. Overall he loves the new me but sometimes he will comment about liking the old me too. I do get scared but I am happy with the new me.

Thats what I was wondering do married couples ever face the complications after surgery. I mean cause you are a new person in a sense physically.

[IamBeauti 4]

Thanks for the comments everyone it was nice to read the mixed responses. From what it sounds like most husbands dont have an issue with the new wife "physically" I just know this is a mental process and as it is for us women it is also for our husbands. Thanks!

[2012 359]

Wow, you all are very lucky, I wish I could meet someone who loves me for me. This is awesome to hear it still exists!

[IamBeauti 4]

Wow' date=' you all are very lucky, I wish I could meet someone who loves me for me. This is awesome to hear it still exists![/quote']

There are good men left in this world. I truly believe once you stop looking for him and let him find you and open ur heart itll happy.