Alone

[Krissy89 3]

I was really determined had my bfs support than it all changed... he said since the surgery is by choice i'm Takin the easy way out. I'm so depressed idk what to do or think I was happy about going through the process but he thinks I can do it the hard way instead of getting cut open

[elcee 3,341]

Has he ever had a weight problem?If not then he will find it hard to understand how difficult it is to lose the weight and KEEP IT OFF. He is also probably scared that something might happen to you. You need to do what is important to you. It is your body and your health. Hopefully he will come around, if not then you may need to do it without his support.

[Cindysmom (Ilene) 130]

I am sorry to hear that he thinks that way. Is it possible that he is afraid to lose you after you do get the weight off.? Does he have a weight problem? As far as being "cut open" I think you need to show him what the surgery consists of. Look at all the gals and guys just here in this Lapbandforum. We are doing just fine. We have not been "Cut Open" and you will not be either.

What do you want? if "we" could have "done" it ourselves we all would have. And as far as it being the "easy way out" OMG. I can't wait till you get all the comments about that. It is quite early in the morning right now so get ready. For me I have worked very hard to lose these 90 lbs. The only easy things I saw was the ready to drink Protein Drinks. Other wise, I worked for what I have.

Work makes life sweet. Sounds like your life is not sweet. Being over weight and unhappy is a sad thing. I wish you the best of luck. I also am anxious to read what you have decided to to.

[Mayasgram 351]

EASY WAY OUT??????????????? This is not for the person who wants an easy way out it is not easy.. it is a tool and you need to work it. You ARE NOT GOING TO BE CUT UP....I have 5 little holes.

I can not understand anyone saying something like that to you when they are suppose to be your boyfriend just thank God you aren't married to him. Is he Overweight, is he insecure, or is he just into manipulation and power, is he afraid you will walk??

Maybe I come on to strong but you need support from the person that is with you and if he is making you depressed now he more then likely won"t understand what this so called easy way out involves, Keep on this site many have been in your shoes. Best of Luck to you think long and hard about what you want your life to be and make a choice that will make you happy.

For many of us the band has helped us get rid of lots of heavy baggage..

[Jim1967 3,569]

For a lot of us losing is not the problem. Keeping it off is!! I wonder if him saying that is really a cover for something else? Like others said he could be concerned about the surgery but there could be other factors as well. I would sit him down for a serious conversation and probe a little more.

[Krissy89 3]

I really don't know what's with him. for his height he is considered a little over weight but he constantly works out everyday he's under 170. He says he knows I can do it and surgery isn't always the answer. That's just for lazy people I don't think he fully understands. He believes if its by choice and its not my last option stated by a doctor I don't need it. I tried to explain to him i'm not happy im depressed and me getting this done just gives me a boost. it's not as bad as other surgeries. He said if I do this I do not have his support because i'm not trying or making an effort. I have been overweight as long as I can remember and i've struggled with it for a very long time I don't want to be around family and friends, i'm afraid of what they think. I feel disgusting. He says he can help me lose the weight with out me getting the surgery. In my heart I still want it but afraid to do it alone. I just wish he understood.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

my heart is with you at this time. if this will make you feel better, then you do it. you are not disgusting. you are a charming and beautiful young lady. this surgery is not easy. you get stabbed in tummy 5 times, you have nearly 4 weeks liquids and sometimes pain after surgery. that to me is not easy. eating high fat/junk food is easy.

its easy for anyone to say you are taking the easy way out. i have had friends who said that to me. (oh well). everyone is allowed their opinion. it doesnt have to be yours.

this decision is yours and yours alone.

I wish you all the luck in the world. he may come around.

he may not. who is to say.

but you being depressed and made to feel bad because you want to be healthy is not a way to live.

i wish you all the luck/best in the world.

you are not alone on this forum. we got your back.

[Krissy89 3]

Thank you, all I did was cry he apologized but as many times as I tried explaining it to him he just doesn't understand. I have to go on a monitored diet and exercise for about 6 to 8 months before I can get it my insurance covers it and my doctor already gave me a referral. He thinks i'm brain washed and if i'm dieting and exercising I don't need surgery, surgery is painful. why should I put myself through that.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Perhaps you could take him to a seminar with you, so he can learn some facts about the surgery? Or would he read informational articles you gave him?

It's sad that so many don't realize it's work. Hard work. I'm currently on vacation and still logging everything I eat on my Lose It app and watching what I eat very closely. I've lost considerable weight so far, but the band is just a tool and it's still me that has to do the work for a lifetime.

Hang in there. I hope he comes around for your sake, but even if he doesn't, remember this is your decision and you have to do what's best for you and your future.

[xsentrick 194]

Well said CG! I couldn't have put it better myself.

[hippychick74 22]

How informed is he about WLS? I might suggest if he is willing, take him to support groups and give him as much information as you can for him to read. It's hard to be logical with someone who is closed minded.

Bottom line this is your your health and your choice. I'm not sure how old you are, you look young. As a 55 year old women I have strugguled with my weight for years. It took a diagnosis of breast cancer to finally make get on the band wagon. The only thing getting our way for a healthy life is losing weight. Now body can understand this vicious cycle we go through unless they have been throught it themselves. My boyfriend has seen me go through cancer and he is also unsure of this procedure. The bottom line he is my boyfriend not my husband and he has no say so over my healthcare. I am now looking forward to be able to play and run with all 6 of my grandchildren all the ages of 5 and under.

I am having my surgery 7/2/12.

Good luck to you and hopefully your boyfriend will come around.

[Jim1967 3,569]

Unfortunately, its a majority of attitude from society that WLS is an easy way out. I have heard people make statements such as "stop eating and you won't be fat". If only it were that easy. Obesity awareness as a disease has come a long way over the years but we still have a long way to go. I have been over weight all my life and I once had that skewed view that surgery was the easy way out. I did Atkins for 19 months and lost 174 pounds. Fast forward to 2011 I had gained it all back plus an additional 89 pounds!!

Like some of the others have said this is not an easy way out by any means. This takes just as much hard work and will power as any other non WLS alternative. Band is a tool to help control your portions and from what I have seen with myself so far is it suppresses the desire to over eat, snack and such.

Like Mis73 stated see if you can get him to a seminar. It is an eye opening experience...

If he still won't support you then you have some difficult choices ahead...If I were in your position I know what my choice would be but again I am not so maybe it's easier for me to say that.

You have one ride down this road of life...enjoy it the best you can so when you reach the end you have no regrets!!

Good Luck....

[dquoiya 32]

Good morning. I want to say first of all congraulations for taking the first step and knowing that WLS is about you and your longterm out look and happiness in life. This is not an easy thing to do and the weight will not fall off by itself nor wil it happen overnight. This surgery I am learning is only a tool and after being banded for 4 months and only lost 4 lbs I am hear to tell you things wont be easy. However if you do not have the support of your boyfriend it will make it that much harder espcially if you are an emotional eater. In the first few months you will see very little change if any in your eating protions and after the surgery you will be sore and unable to work out for awhile at least 30 days. If your boyfriend is not supportive this will not help you at all through the healing process physically or emotionally. My suggestion as others have mentioned would be to invite him to a seminar with you, also take him to a dr. appointment (I did that with my girlfriend and it helped a lot) so that he can be edcuated on the procedure and also how STRONG one really has to be to take on this commitment. Good luck to you in whatever your deceision is I look forward to reading all your future success story postings.

[mizvicky 14]

This boyfriend of yours had better have some other amazing qualities going for him because this whole "I can fix you" routine is nothing but controlling and insecure behavior on his part. How dare he or anyone else call you lazy !! You are doing something extremely brave that requires hard work and commitment that no "lazy" person could even comprehend. Do not let your boyfriend or anyone else keep you from taking care of yourself.

Taking steps to take care of yourself will empower you to not depend on your boyfriend or anyone else to define your worth. I'm pretty sure that's what he is so insecure about. He's also afraid that as you begin to look and feel better you will also be looking good to other guys. Again with the insecurity. Just make sure you do what's best for you, because I can tell you, boyfriend aint gonna. Just telling it like I see it.

[tflemon67 88]

Wow WLS surgery is for lazy people, too funny. I run 4 miles per day 4-5 days per week in the searing heat in the afternoons or I'll get up at 3:30 am and run. I weigh 195 lbs and I'm 5 foot 1. Nope not lazy at all, need a better tool to get my body to respond to all my hard work. Do what you feel is best for you. Keeping the weight off is more than difficult for a lot of people.