Dont Know What To Do :-/

[knknosmom 4]

I have been going back and forth over having the lap band surgery done, I didnt want to tell my husband until I was certain. Well I decided to have it done! I wentto my Dr today, and scheduled the orientation for August 9th. Then I told my husband. He is less than enthused. He says he likes me how I am (265 lbs!) I hate how I look, I want to lose the weight. He asked me how much I wanted to lose, I said I wanted to get down to like 150 lbs. He freaked out saying thats waaaaay to much. I want to be happy when I look in the mirror. He says he will support my decision in whatever I do but I feel like I need some other people to support me and actually mean it, I guess. I am frustrated. I was so excited.

[shalondavis 0]

Your husbands concern is normal. My husband was the same way. However, the more he was educated the more comfortable he became with the idea. I'm still fairly new at this myself. I had surgery on April 30, 2012, and I've already lost 39 pounds. My husband is really loving it now. I can see the difference in the way he looks at me. Good luck and congratulations on your decision.

[123crod 170]

You need to take him to the seminar with you and he will relax. It is sometimes scary for them will you change after?? Will you still want to be married? Give it time and like the above poster said research it together.

cheri

[jen_1381 446]

Change is scary to everyone, husbands especially! Their instant thought is - my wife is going to get skinny and hot, and find someone better than me.

My husband didn't have the ideal reaction but he was supportive through it all. I just sat him down and explained that although he loves me no matter what size I am (I was 243 lbs), I am the one who has to live in my body. I explained that I'm uncomfortable in my own skin, and that I'm holding myself back from experiencing life because I feel I'm too big to do a lot of things. I assured him that I didn't want to get down too low - I set my goal at 160 and I will see how I feel then. I'm tall, and built lean, so I think anything below 140 may be too slim for me (my sister is built the same, and is about 145 and she looks too skinny to me). We sat down and made goals along with my weight loss. When I get to 190 lbs, we'll go sky diving (the weight limit for women is 200 lbs). When I get to my goal, he promised me a completely new wardrobe. We're going to Vegas in September and I promised him that if I was at 185 I would go on the scary rides. I made him part of my journey...by setting goals and rewards for us together, he felt more involved and less like this was my decision and so be it.

[Longleggs 11]

When I decided to have the surgery my husband freaked out! He likes larger women and told me that he wouldnt be physically attracted to me if I lost too much weight. I went back and forth with him yet he still refused to accept it until ... a neighbor lost her husband to heart disease recently. He not only left behind his wife but a 14 year old daughter. Sitting through the funeral and reception he was able to see how much being over weight and unhealthy affected everyone. We went home later that evening and told me that no matter what I had to do as long as it meant me getting healthy and being able to grow old together is what mattered. I assured him that I would always be a larger woman (standing at 6'1") with plenty of curves for his liking. Make sure you let your hubby know that this is a choice not only for your self-esteem but it is a choice to spend a long life with him!

[Krussell19 217]

I already had my band and was down 75 lbs when i met my husband ,but ive lost another 75 lbs since we've been together. He always gets worried because the smaller i get the more attention i attract. I just reassure him he is the one for me. He loved me when i was big so he will be the only one lovin me when im small .

Also just alittle added side note maybe mention to him or let him read some of the posts on here about your sex.life! Once your feeling better about your image and gain self confidence on top of the energy you'll have from being healthier you'll be in heaven! Im not sayin your sex life isnt already great im just saying mine and most people on here has improved because your feeling energetic and sexy enough to try new things.

Me feeling good about me has brought me and my hubby closer together because i can really open up and be myself. Plus im not spending half my time depressed anymore. I can get ready for a date and look in the mirror and go oh yea lookin good instead of the old me who tried on nine outfits and ended up in tears and didnt want to leave the house.