Not Sure If I Wanna Tell My Family And Friends

[knknosmom 4]

I made the decision to have the lap band surgery. I have my 1st appointment scheduled for August 9th. I have been thinking though, and I am not sure if I want everyone knowing about my decision. My mom is very judgemental and quite frankly I dont feel like listening to what she has to say about it. So obviously if I dont tell her, I cant tell anyone in my family because they all talk! My family doesnt understand, they are all skinny! They dont see how it could be so difficult to lose the weight, because they have never had to try! While I still have yet to decide what to do about telling people, I just have a couple questions. Did any of you decide not to tell people? How long are you usually in the hospital? Pretty sure that it might make it harder to keep it a secret if I will be there any length of time!

[madameartiste 1]

Hello Knknosmom,

This is a very personal decision for you. It is always your perogative to let your friends and family know or not.

With me, there were some people who I just didnt want them to know. Unfortunately, one of my kids posted on Facebook "Good luck on your Surgery tomorrow, momma...and that's when people asked what surgery I was having and was I sick, etc etc.

Well you know my drift. So be ware, it can leak even if you think no one knows about it. If no family knows about yur surgery, make sure a good friend or acquaintance does. Just in case anything...God forbid and they can contact someone you really need.

Another food for thought thing. Your doctor should tell you how long you will be in the hospital. Generally for Lap Band its overnight or 2 days at most if minor problems. Talk w your doctor and he will tell you more.

And do, do read the many posts written on this site, it is fantastic.

Hope this helped.

MA (MadeameArtiste)

[Savannah26 26]

It is a very personal decision - I chose not to tell anyone except my daughter and favorite cousin. I didn't tell my family or my best friend or anyone else. It was definitely the right decision for me. It has allowed me the time I need to learn how to live as a banded person without having to deal with the constant barade of questions regarding how much weight have you lost. Most people do not understand that the lapband is not bypass surgery. With the lapband, your weight is 1-2 lbs. per week - IF you are lucky. With bypass, the weight appears to fall off. I began to prepare everyone by letting them know that I was on a diet, trying to lose weight and eat healthy. I have ALWAYS eaten very slow, so they are used to that - lol. None of the above is untrue - you have to diet and eat healthy and exercise, along with the lap band to see any real results. By the way, I checked in the hospital at 7am and was on my way home before 2pm. The surgery was very easy and so was the recovery. I took 4 vacation days, stayed with my daughter during that time, returned to work on Monday - no issues. Take plenty of Gas-X to prevent / help the gas pain from surgery. Good Luck! Stay on this website - it provides awesome support for our journey!

[adorkbl 156]

I initially didn't want to tell anyone except my husband. I didn't want to have to explain myself, or have people judge me. Then we had to let my husbands aunt and uncle know because we stayed with them since my surgery was out of state. Eventually as my surgery got closer I became more comfortable sharing with close family. They were supportive... for the most part.

Now I can care less who knows. I don't advertise it, but I don't care what people think anymore. It is actually nice to have the support!!

Sometimes it is frustrating when I am eating and have a semi-stuck episode where I slow way down... I constantly get asked if I am ok. A few family members are always watching me eat and asking how it is going... during dinner... that can get old.

I have had several complications and my journey has been up and down. I am having my 4th surgery next week. So I don't think I could have kept it secret at this point!! Lol.

It really is a personal decision. Do what is comfortable for YOU!! Good luck with your decision!!

Oh... my surgery was outpatient. It depends on the doctor and insurance.

[smalltown 15]

I did tell people when I was banded however as long as it takes to start losing weight steadily for me it was 41/2 months I now wish I had not for the simple reason I do have to explain a little more about the whole process of filling it up really slowly and that it a process not a fix all ect....

[Cazzy 725]

If u feel the need to tell them, tell them afterwards, u can say its done now, lets move on

[feb27bandwoman 112]

Always remember that you cannot un-ring that bell.....

[NWgirl 574]

Tell them when you feel good and ready, IF you feel good and ready. I would encourage you to find support groups and other people to surround yourself with that will support you in your journey.