Emotional Regret

[pink dahlia 2,513]

tmf, that was me that said " Im so stinkin' thrilled with my weight loss i dont care what i cant eat !", and i still feel that way ! The Protein shake/liquid phase is just that, a phase. But the weight loss/healthy body ? Honey, thats the rest of your life !!! If its any help. im 6.5 months banded, have lost 45 lbs and i still can eat 95 % of what i ate before. I cant eat raw broccoli, dry meats at all and only about 3 bites of potatoes, tortillas, white breads , and chips before they expand and make me uncomfortable. Other than that i can eat anything. The difference is I CHOOSE not to eat certain foods because since i only have room for so much food i have to make it count . So its mostly protein, fruits, veggies and nuts. Every day or 2 i have a treat, but i really dont miss anything. And if i reaaly want it, ill have a little and im satisfied (Ice cream !) Your old relationship with food is what got you here in the 1st place , so say hello to your new ,healthier ,yummy realtionship with food !

[jellibean 2]

We all go through this I think' date=' especially during our post op healing. Focus again on the reasons you chose to have the surgery. I look at the "little" I now eat, and am so proud and happy that if fills me up, even without the weight loss. The freedom I have found from food is amazing. Sure there are days I struggle and want that comfort food, I wont kid you. However, when I eat healthy I find its a victory, because healthy food is our new best friend. Sadness and anger are all a part of the grieving process. You will get through it! Every day I exercise, even though its only walking one mile, I have a victory. Each and every meal I have that is normal portions (even though it seems small to us overeaters) that is a victory too. The weight loss is another victory. The inches I've already lost off my tummy is a victory. The clothing sizes I've already gone down is another victory. You can choose to be sad and angry, or you can choose to stay focused on your plan. Focus on your reasons and the small victories, and before you know it, food will be your friend again in a new way. It won't hold you back! It will help you be healthy! The victories are yours too, if you reach out and take them.

This is coming from the woman, who two days post op was crying in bed and I knew I made the wrong decision! The support I have gotten here helped immensely and focusing on my victories empowers me to continue to work with the band to improve my life. Pretty soon, your band and new eating habits will become your best friend too![/quote']

Well said, I had my surgery almost 2 years ago and I still question if I did the right thing. Normally, it is when I want to eat food that I can't anymore. I am not at the weight that I thought I would be at by now but, I would do it all over again. In the beginning it is hard because you are on liquids, smooth, soft and then normall foods. Once I got the hang of what I could eat (it does vary by each person) it got easier. I do find myself in a rut of eating the same thing and that is where other banders can help out. I do truely agree with the others that have posted. The lack of what I can eat doesn't compare to what I have achieved in weight loss and freedom in my life. I will never go back to that life ever again. I would suggest to all out there to talk about how you are feeling to your family and friends that are supporting you through this. My husband has supported me thru day 0 but, he was unaware of truely how he ate effected me. Plus, he thought that he would have to eat just like me and he didn't want that. But, when I told him how it made me feel when he brought junk food in the house he didn't do it as much. Also, he saw that how I was cooking and eating was healthier he got on the band wagon. He told me that until he went through it with me he didn't know just how much it was going to change his life too (for the better). Good luck to you, you can do it!

Sent from my iPad using LapBandTalk

[ValleyGirlRN 32]

Just what I needed to hear today, rather uncanny actually...I'm almost 2 months postop, an have come off of the high of the weightloss. I have recently started feeling a sense of loss, and it hit me last night that it's the lack of being able to comfort myself in the same manner that I have allll these years...with food...it is a process, and I don't regret it at all...I realize it was very unhealthy for me, and I have to grow from this...glad to have you all as an added support system )

[carol285 145]

Once you get past the liquid phase things will go much easier I think!! I am about 20 months out & I won't lie to you by saying I NEVER emotionally eat anymore BUT the band keeps it down to just a few bites. I can eat 1 or 2 bites of any food so that is what I focus on if it is an emotional or pure taste need I am filling. Of course with the band there are certain foods that are not user friendly but again taking 1 small taste usually works. Plus I have truly found there are so many wonderful things I can eat that after some time you no longer focus on what you can't eat.

[icandothisforme 20]

You read my mind tonight! I'm going through the same feelings right now. My fiancé got Chinese food for dinner and I was so mad I threw a box across the room because I was so upset I couldn't have any! I've never acted that way before' date=' it's like I snapped! Stay strong and know you're not alone! It will get better for us and be worth it in the end <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

My husband BBQ'd last night. I thought I was going to lock him out of the house and say,"sleep with the BBQ a*****e!". Lol.

[indyhandmade 43]

I was having those regret moments when my husband brought back the most delicious-smelling cheese pizza and breadsticks for him and the kids.....while I sat and ate my 1/2 cup tuna salad. But, by the end of the meal, my tummy was full and I was satisfied.

It's been important to me to feel ncluded in what my family is doing. So, if they are going out I make it work for me and eat what I can. We were at a Mexican place and they were nice enough to purée the chicken tortilla Soup for me.

I keep having a talk with myself about how this will all pay off in the end.

Stay strong and focused!!

[PandorasBox92264 61]

I was banded in 08 and was doing a good job losing! I also went though the devastation and loss of food, or the thought of it in my head. I remember waking up early one morning thinking WTF did I do? Why on earth would I do this to myself?

I wanted to get healthier, My dad died of a Cardiac arrest big suprise..and my Mom got Diagnosed with colon cancer.

I got the surgery then went through quite a series of changes including leaving my ex husband. I ended up moving back to California but had some Fluid removed prior because I was over 7cc and having some issues with food/drink etc.. and did not want to have trouble on my cross country drive. To be safe they took me down to 6cc. I still had restriction but over time I started to eat more and wasn't making good choices. I gained alot back then finally little over a month ago had another fill that brought me up to 7cc. I have dropped about 17 lbs since May 24th.

Funny thing, I woke up and did the same ole thing.. What the heck have I done, let the Mourning begin.. I was all ready to dress in black, hurling myself at the fridge and balling my eyes out. That lasted for about 20 minutes of horror.. and I thought..

Susan, You have been here before, this is normal put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Which I did and have been moving forward ever since.

food is not our LOVE, It is not our Supporter.. it really is like the corner crack dealer that wants to get us hooked. For many of us it is 'Chasing the Dragon' no matter how much we eat it can never fill the hole inside.... It only seems that the more we chase that darn dragon keeps getting away.

I am not by any means perfect, I have experience but have had to relearn things fast. We chose this method as a tool to help ourselves and many find that it is not the easy street that they figured it would be. Because it is not and we have to work it in order to make it work.

As you go on you will find that for many you can still eat the majority of foods that you ate before. As my Doctor put it, You can have a few chips vs the whole bag, I ate 1/4th of a powdered donut today! Do I feel guilty no... because It is not the 2 or 3, 4 donuts that I might have had in my past. bread is not my first consideration anymore when eating, in fact it rarely plays into the scenario at all. I go for the Protein first and the salad which are my favs.. followed by whatever is on the side dish. I do make a wrap sometimes out of a whole grain tortilla and it is not the JUMBO size tortilla.

Last week we went to the movies and we split a small bag of popcorn and I had a small Coke Zero.drank maybe half. I know the drill about sodas.. but I had it.. no problems whatsoever.. it is also downsized from would normally have been a medium or large popcorn which I could have probably eaten myself..

when got home and needless to say neither of us felt good.. I just did not like having that junk in my system.

You live, you learn... acknowledge your feelings and try to work through them because you will have them here and there. I call it my self sabatoge mode... and I feel that most everyone has it here or there. We will not be perfect, we will make mistakes, I guess I look at it if that happens I try to make the mistake not as bad as it could be, enjoy it, them forgive yourself and move forward.

Seeing the clothes fit better will also help alot, it its a way to keep you more focused.. good luck you guys.. hang in there

[Randella 11]

I have 10 more days of post liquids I'm doing great when I started this journey I knew it wouldn't be easy but I made the descion to get the band and I'm going to give it 100% to make it a success I have seen great results and I want to be one of the success stories since 6/12 when I started by preop liquids I have lost 30 lbs and hoping to make it 40 by 7/12 doctors visit so I guess I have already detached myself from food. I went to the mall and bought a pair of Clark's artisan sandals to reward myself. Good luck I know everyone can get through this

[Lannae 46]

You are not alone, I was banded in March and I found the part right before surgery was hard, and then after a fill when you have to go back on liquids..Do I miss food, yes, but I am trying to find my alternative foods, and its not to bad. If I eat a burger, which I cant fully do, but I pretend, by cutting the burger pattie in half to make it thinner, (homemade burgers) and then I hollow out the bun, I dont eat like this all the time, but its for those treat nights. I do miss some foods, and I agree you never realize how your life revolves around food!!!! It takes a while to break the habit, I am still struggling with it, but find some good foods that you really enjoy and it will make it easier..Also when the weight comes off, you will lose the emotional regret!!!

[Shoshanna 98]

I am 2.5 years out, within 4 pounds of my goal weight, and there are still times I wish I could just sit down and eat one meal of whatever I wanted.

But one meal of whatever I want is never enough and that's why I got the band.

I am content. Mostly.

[judych 225]

I am 2.5 years out, within 4 pounds of my goal weight, and there are still times I wish I could just sit down and eat one meal of whatever I wanted.

But one meal of whatever I want is never enough and that's why I got the band.

I am content. Mostly.

..and im content, mostly, as well.... good post Shoshanna.

. im two weeks out from a fill of 1 cc and having difficulty eating. ive been eating mashed potato and Soups... but im feeling now its time i should be back on solids.

Oddly enough, i can eat a small amount of bacon plus on fried egg of a morning.. but it takes me over a half hour.

Tonight i had a chicken burger (small) , a small potato in its jacket plus a tablespoon of salad on my plate. i was so hungry. for the first 1/4 hour i was miserable trying to eat. i persevered, waited, and in the end i managed to eat what i had on my plate. i had some light sour cream and fresh dill as well... it was about two cups max id say, but it took me an hour to eat, at least an hour.

chewing up to fifty times each time, as i got further into the meal i felt better. im not sure what goes on with that... but just over an hour and i had finished my meal and felt great. satisfied for the first time in weeks.

i know that im supposed to get up and leave the meal after 20 minutes.. but honestly... i was still starving and had eaten no more than about six small mouthfuls. not enough.

im not sure this time whether that 1 cc was overdoing it. im giving it another week and if things havent looked up im having it removed. i had 3 ccs already and was losing.. slowly but surely.

[Cazzy 725]

Judy if u do think u are a little tight dont get 1cc removed get 0.5 cc if u need to as we get nearer full restriction small amounts impact a lot more than u think they will, i was having 0.25 cc in the end near my fill level so if u are still eating and drinking ok, but just have some problems then try for the 0.5cc it will often work, and dont forget as u lose weight the band will often loosen anyways

[Boniluuu 25]

I went through the emotional stuff post op. It was very hard. Mine lasted a few weeks. It felt like post pardum depression. It will get better.

[difa 114]

Sad enough ... while i don't have an emotional attachment to food (mine was mostly being a bachelor and eating OUT ALLLLL THE TIME). I've noticed a sadness since getting the band and eating differently. That and the communication between my wife and I has gotten worse. She hasn't lost the weight she's expected by month 9. I've lost 20 lbs or so in the month post-op. I see how weight loss and expected weightloss can cause a strain on someone.

[judych 225]

Judy if u do think u are a little tight dont get 1cc removed get 0.5 cc if u need to as we get nearer full restriction small amounts impact a lot more than u think they will, i was having 0.25 cc in the end near my fill level so if u are still eating and drinking ok, but just have some problems then try for the 0.5cc it will often work, and dont forget as u lose weight the band will often loosen anyways

you are right cazzy... and i had forgotten about the band loosening up a bit as we lose. At the moment, to slow down weight loss, im having a couple of squares of chocolate nearly every day.. and also the odd glass of wine. my weight loss is still happening... I dont want to lose any quicker than i am now.

thats good advice about just having 0.05cc removed... i never thought about that. i have about 16 pounds to go... and about three months i want to do it in.