Emotional Regret

[ChattyMommy30 20]

Anyone else go through emotional regret? The pain part isn't getting to me, but the emotions of it all is.

I love food, obviously, or I wouldn't be in the shape I'm in now. My entire household is extremely supportive, I couldn't ask for a better support team. But they didn't have this surgery, I did. They still have to go on with life and eat food. I'm so burnt out on Protein Shakes and liquid everything that it makes me nauseated to even think about drinking.

I go back and forth from trying to encourage myself to keep on, to wondering what in the hell have I done!

Don't get me wrong, I want this more than anything, but I'm trying to figure out how to say goodbye to the relationship I used to have with food.

Maybe I'm rambling, and maybe none of you relate to this, but I had to get this out somewhere.

[Daisy0909 2]

I was just banded on Monday. Today and yesterday, I have been having the same emotions. It is a loss we will have to mourn, we will not be able to eat like we used to. I think the sadness is normal. I hope we both feel better soon. It doesn't help to be on liquids that is for sure! I still have one more week of those to go. Hang in there and stay strong. I know if we stay positive this period will be over before we know it.

[akurre12 86]

You read my mind tonight! I'm going through the same feelings right now. My fiancé got Chinese food for dinner and I was so mad I threw a box across the room because I was so upset I couldn't have any! I've never acted that way before, it's like I snapped! Stay strong and know you're not alone! It will get better for us and be worth it in the end

[cmoody821 44]

I am in the same boat. Everyone went out to dinner tonight and I didn't because i am still in week one liquids.

[onmyway1969 5]

Thank you for posting, this has been one of my concerns about having the surgery. I heard an acquaintance speak at a support group about grieving for food, a few weeks after her surgery, she felt as if she had lost her best friend. I heard this over a year ago and I knew that it was something I would experience. I also have support at home, and while this is very important, no one can get through the emotions but me. Recognizing our emotional issues surrounding food is the first step. There are many mixed emotions that I experience in a single day. I know I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I have a lot of work to do surrounding my addictive behaviors. I can learn to live a healthy lifestyle. This will include eating foods to nourish my body, to be kind to myself, to strengthen my body, to allow myself to miss food, to ask for help when I need it, learn to be inside my head without escaping by using food. I hope I am not getting too heavy for you.... I have a lot to learn. It is almost like I will discover who I am without using food as a crutch. I will still struggle, but I will struggle in different ways. This is a process. There will be hard days and easier ones. Embrace them all.

Your feelings of uncertainty are very normal, I think. And, they will pass. You have made a decision to create a new, healthier YOU. There is no room for "regret" when you make a decision like that.

shakes..... BLAH! I did two weeks of pre op diet (choc and vanilla shakes), had surgery on Tuesday of this week, and am now able to have things other than shakes. Tomato Soup was FABULOUS! Jello wasn't bad either. Cream of celery. chicken broth. Popsicles. Gatorade. coffee with a choc protien shake. Obviously I am looking forward to having more food choices, but I am feeling much more satisfied with these additions.

[xsentrick 194]

I was amazed at how much of an emotional attachment I had to food! It's as if it was my longest living best friend and I would never see him again. No one there to bring me up when down. No one to take away the pain of everyday problems. No one to tell me how things will be alright. No one to party with me on the weekends or to make road trips fun! But that friend while all of those things, was also making me do things that were detrimental to my health and causing me to ignore all the other things in life that matter so much more. Do I miss my friend....yes. However, I will NOT miss the rest of my life.

[Daisy0909 2]

It is so nice to hear other people feeling and going through the same emotions. I know this will be tough, but I know we all can get through this one day at a time.

[sleepyone405 13]

We all go through this I think, especially during our post op healing. Focus again on the reasons you chose to have the surgery. I look at the "little" I now eat, and am so proud and happy that if fills me up, even without the weight loss. The freedom I have found from food is amazing. Sure there are days I struggle and want that comfort food, I wont kid you. However, when I eat healthy I find its a victory, because healthy food is our new best friend. Sadness and anger are all a part of the grieving process. You will get through it! Every day I exercise, even though its only walking one mile, I have a victory. Each and every meal I have that is normal portions (even though it seems small to us overeaters) that is a victory too. The weight loss is another victory. The inches I've already lost off my tummy is a victory. The clothing sizes I've already gone down is another victory. You can choose to be sad and angry, or you can choose to stay focused on your plan. Focus on your reasons and the small victories, and before you know it, food will be your friend again in a new way. It won't hold you back! It will help you be healthy! The victories are yours too, if you reach out and take them.

This is coming from the woman, who two days post op was crying in bed and I knew I made the wrong decision! The support I have gotten here helped immensely and focusing on my victories empowers me to continue to work with the band to improve my life. Pretty soon, your band and new eating habits will become your best friend too!

[LadyMaggie 145]

Yes, I love this website but it helps me the most to hear about how to deal with challenges . . . I am apparently currently in "bandster he**". I asked myself the other day did I get a $40,000.00 surgery REALLY . . . what if it NEVER works ???

[Cazzy 725]

Most people go through what u all are going through and believe me it does get better. The relationship with food doesnt end it just changes, no longer does food control you but u control it, food can still be a friend but not your best friend, at the cost of your health and well being.

You all recently had surgery too and that in its self is an emotional rollercoaster, let alone the emotional side of having to restrict what u eat too ... just concentrate on what u can eat, not what u cant ...

A year and half down the line and i am happy with the food i eat and extremely happy over the weight i lost, all the positives that will come over time as u lose the weight will far outweigh any negatvity that u are feeling now. Start walking, get out and about, and look forward to a healthy and happy future, and dont dwell on a food laden unhealthy past

[2muchfun 8,927]

My relationship with food made me wait about 2 years longer than it should have. I didn't think I could give it up, but I did. Here I am 7 months post-op and I really don't miss stuffing my face till I'm so uncomfortable I can't sleep at night.

As another bandster said it, "I'm so stinkin' thrilled with my weight loss I dont even care about what i cant eat!"

I resemble this remark and you will too in 6 months.

tmf

[ChattyMommy30 20]

Oh goodness, this site is amazing. I was ready to put myself to bed, sad and defeated, but you guys have made me smile. At least now I know I'm not alone and certainly not crazy for feeling the way I feel.

I'm now going to be able to go to bed and say that I'm putting this day behind me and start fresh tomorrow.

I feel like I've gotten a HUGE hug! I'm so happy to know I'm not alone.

[TriciaLN 177]

I was amazed at how much of an emotional attachment I had to food! It's as if it was my longest living best friend and I would never see him again. No one there to bring me up when down. No one to take away the pain of everyday problems. No one to tell me how things will be alright. No one to party with me on the weekends or to make road trips fun! But that friend while all of those things' date=' was also making me do things that were detrimental to my health and causing me to ignore all the other things in life that matter so much more. Do I miss my friend....yes. I will NOT miss the rest of my life.[/quote']

Wow my thoughts exactly! I'm only 3 days into my liquid diet and I too feel a huge loss. I have always been an emotional eater and giving up that comfort is extremely hard. I feel like no one understands the relationship I have with food. I feel like I am suffering from a loss, but too embarrassed to say it out loud. Thanks for sharing!

[xsentrick 194]

Wow my thoughts exactly! I'm only 3 days into my liquid diet and I too feel a huge loss. I have always been an emotional eater and giving up that comfort is extremely hard. I feel like no one understands the relationship I have with food. I feel like I am suffering from a loss, but too embarrassed to say it out loud. Thanks for sharing!

You're welcome and just know that you will get through it. We all will.

[judych 225]

Anyone else go through emotional regret? The pain part isn't getting to me, but the emotions of it all is.

I love food, obviously, or I wouldn't be in the shape I'm in now. My entire household is extremely supportive, I couldn't ask for a better support team. But they didn't have this surgery, I did. They still have to go on with life and eat food. I'm so burnt out on Protein shakes and liquid everything that it makes me nauseated to even think about drinking.

I go back and forth from trying to encourage myself to keep on, to wondering what in the hell have I done!

Don't get me wrong, I want this more than anything, but I'm trying to figure out how to say goodbye to the relationship I used to have with food.

Maybe I'm rambling, and maybe none of you relate to this, but I had to get this out somewhere.

..and good on you for bringing it out here, because its here that you will have fellow banders who are/have gone through the same emotional issue. I mean... this is forever... right? we have crossed over a surgical line that DICTATES now, to a great degree, how we can eat. !! ( I know we can still cheat but its nothing like being free to eat anything. !)

i have felt the same way ! lots of times ! even now... three months and more out from surgery. !! i have days where i would just like to be free to eat everything i want... you know?

.. BUT.... eating everything has a big price to pay for me. Do i want to continue just eating everyday to feed my overweight body and give me a temporary fix? I dont think so. ! the band gives me room to step back (because i jolly well have to now... lol. ) and think twice about what im doing.

And, whats more, when i dress myself now, and get undressed, im not hating the person im seeing in the mirror. WE pay a price for improved self image (not to mention the health benefits we get )

... that price is loss of freedom with unlimited eating.

You will get used to this new way of living. The emotional pulls are strong... it makes us realize just how we lived under the rule of our emotions.

Good luck. Just take each day as it comes. YOu arent alone in this and you will be really glad with the outcome.