Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I Feel So Like A Hypocrite



Recommended Posts

I feel so like a hypocrite. First I am pretty new to this I signed up to this forum in 2011 but did not come back to it until a little before I had my band on May 24th 2012. What I am saying is I am not an expert by any means.

I was out shopping today and was noticing how many people were overweight, (I have been overweight most of my life) I never really paid attention before. I was sitting at the mall and making assumptions based on no information about these people. What is my problem I was actually contemplating trying to talk to a few of these people (that sat close to me) about the lap band? I know before you tell me that that was very arrogant, I do not know these people circumstances- example, money, insurance there lot in life ect.

I am an outspoken person but not usually that arrogant, just had to get this off my chest I was actually tearing up on the way home thinking about these people and that I did not have the guts to tell them my story, which I would hope I would have done instead of telling them they needed the band.

Lassie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I posted a few weeks ago that I do the same. I go to the mall, movies, shopping, and there are obese people everywhere. I don't judge them but I do want to walk up to them and shake them and tell them what they're missing and how to find it.

That's so arrogant on my part I'm embarrassed to post it but I did :o

We all have to find our way in this life and we should try not to judge(but we're human right?). For me, that's why I've been so overtly honest with people around me. I want others to see that it can be done and screw those who think I'm cheating. It's not illegal. And it's not fair that I was given the genes I was born with. I'm working harder now to lose weight than I ever did before my band.

tmf

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My step,mother tells everyone thats over weight about her band i swear she should get paid for it as a spokes person.. And never has she done it to be rude but shes like hey ive been there i know how you feel and this is my success story.

Shes very proud of her band and some people may not wanna hear it but if even one looks into it she feels she has made a diffrence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

tomuch fun I have not been honest with the people around me yet, not sure anyone has noticed but i am sure they will soon. Thank you for being honest with me and it sure did help to know I am not the only one out there thinking this way. Still feel I am being way to judgemental but will try and do better. God bless you

Lassie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My step,mother tells everyone thats over weight about her band i swear she should get paid for it as a spokes person.. And never has she done it to be rude but shes like hey ive been there i know how you feel and this is my success story.

Shes very proud of her band and some people may not wanna hear it but if even one looks into it she feels she has made a diffrence.

that is great I am happy that she has handled this so well

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She definatley talked me into it glad she did

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm aware that I notice others who are obese while in a restaurant, and especially last evening when we went to a candy/ ice cream shop not far from home which I had not been to since late last year. My husband wanted a scoop of the real thing (still a 34" waist, normal weight range)...and I had a spoonful. I savored that spoonful. I admit I enjoyed it...but the one spoon was my limit and I honored it.

The one thing about weight loss is that for success, your motivation needs to come from within...others who are overweight or obese have a variety of reasons for why they are the way they are. It's a sensitive topic, to say the very least.

Many people don't care about being overweight; many others are aware and frustrated that they have failed at diets before, and may have given up.

Though I was in one of the "helping professions" for years, I understand that all of the talking to, cajoling, and any other means of communicating that loosing weight would be a huge health benefit to others will not make a difference, and may even make for some nasty responses.

The motivation has to come from within the individual...if it's not there, perhaps it may be in the future. There is nothing you can do to motivate someone else, with the exception of planting some seeds of an idea for them to think about.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lassie, you got a good heart. dont feel down. you are just compassionate. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps telling a person about the lapband could save their life!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps telling a person about the lapband could save their life!

Not a good idea! Would anyone walk up to a person in a restaurant who was drinking alcohol and ask if they were an alcoholic or if they knew about cirrhosis? I doubt it.

Have I seen people I thought could benefit from the band? Sure. But I would never in a million years tell a strainger they need weight loss surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sticking your nose in a strangers business is a good way to get your teeth knocked out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Try going to a all you can eat buffet. It will make you GAG!!!I never used to eat more than 2 helpings at a buffet. But, a lot of folks pile on their plates like they haven't eaten in months. I used to work with a woman who would use a dinner tray when we had luncheons at work. She took home a lot of food.( I know that she made a lot less than we did because she was a clerical person and lived by herself. She probably was able to make several meals from one take home dish.) But really, these folks at bufets have to eat what is there before them. My husband, who is still obese, was watching Golden Corral commerical and he says, "wow, 1st hey have the chocolate fountain, and now cotton candy, good grief"!! Anyway, I try to not go to those places, becasue I don't get my monies worth, never have but now for sure. It is hard to not notice that 1/2 the American population is obese to grossly obese. It is really sad when you see the children adn the mothers feeeding them all that junk food! Well, someday they to will need lapband surgery to save their lives. Thanks for the tppic. Karen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's really a catch 22. About a 1 1/2 yrs ago I was at the mall with my then 2 yr old in the play area.Acouple was there and just looked at me and started talking about how they both had gastric bypass .it changed their life and it could change mines.I was so offended.I could see that they were just spreading the "good news" they have been where I was and wanted me ( or every obese person) to experience what they did.I proceeded to tell them that I was kinda looking into the band ,and the wife lovingly responded with people "our size" (she use to be the same size I was) the band was not good for and I should do what they did since I was even more offended now.I struck back with all the complications I knew about bypass.BUT when I left there my mind was made up about WLS. I buckled down on my research and ultimately started the band process.so even though I was offended it was the last jolt I needed to get the ball rolling.

For me what I've been doing is waiting for someone to open the door to the conversation which happens a lot.they make comments like I'm so fat,or I know I shouldn't be eating this but....,then I swoop in.:-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most of us seem to be able to live without really seeing ourselves; I now know I did. I knew I was overweight, and I was very offened when the chart listed morbidly obese. REALLLLLY! I had been thinking I would be fine if I got below 200 all would be well. I could shop anywhere and I would feel better. Wrong, very wrong. I stay away from camaras if possible, but to look back on pictures now I really want to cry. It hurts me for all the years I have felt as badly about myself as I did; and to know that I lied to me about how I felt.

There is a young woman that I have talked to about surgery, she has so many health issues; but says her doctors haven't said anything about getting the weight off. People watch her eat, not that she has huge amounts, but as large as she is it seems like she shouldn't eat. It makes me cringe because I know all the problems she has ahead of her. I don't think we're hypocrites, we are just identifying with our own lives. What it was, what it has become and all the possiblites we think are ahead for us. We want to share the joy, not just on this forum with those who might not realize that there are options for a better/healthier tomorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think I will ever recommend this procedure to someone. This operation should be as a last resort. And no one ever told me the degree of pain I would be suffering from. From what I read everyone was like, "yeah, there's some pain." They lied. It is extremely painful and extremely scary with a bunch of other negative possibilities. Who the heck would willingly say "I'll do it" if they knew it would cause level 10 pains (even with liquid loretabs) for days? Had I known I think I might have gone for those nachos I was craving a week before surgery instead. Maybe I'll change my mind later, I just got banded on the 27th...but for now, no references from me. It even hurts to hiccup. GRRRRRR

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
      · 2 replies
      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

      2. BabySpoons

        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Stone Art By SKL

      Decorative Wall Cladding & Panels | Stone Art By SKL
      Elevate your space with Stone Art By SKL's decorative wall claddings & panels. Explore premium designs for timeless elegance.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×