Nervous And Scared!!!

[cupcakebabe84 17]

So, I'm getting really nervous and having some thoughts like what if I regret doing this once I have the band in? What if I can't bear the initial pain at beginning? What if I fail? I'm at the point to where I'm so nervous that it's starting to stress me out. Anyone have any advise or any good experiences that would help me not be so scared or nervous about this procedure coming up in two weeks? I'm scheduled for July 11th. I thought I was excited but now I'm just getting really really stressed over this.... Anything will help at this point. I don't know anyone that has gotten this procedure done so I don't really have anyone to talk to about it.

[Jackie Murphy 10]

I feel the same way I am scheduled for July 10th! I am afraid of failing also....and the pain and the complications.....

[BassplayerJason 19]

I was banded almost 5 weeks ago and was going thru the same things. I was worried and nervous, and embarrassed that I needed surgery. Tomorrow will be 5 weeks for me, and im down 56 pounds already. I feel great, I have so much more energy. There was a little pain, but not much. And it was so worth it. I'm very happy so far, and can tell you for me, it was a great choice.

[Donnie 2.0 3]

You are both doing one of the best things for your bodies you could possibly do. Do you know how many wonderful benefits you'll enjoy once the weight starts coming off? No more worries about diabetes type II - your blood pressure worries will become a thing of the past - your energy and happiness levels will fill the room - Truly, it feels like winning the lottery. Yes, there will be some difficult times: remember, this surgery is NOT a magic bullet, but it will be like receiving an unfair advantage. Failure? Forget about it. Seriously, the last thing on your minds will be eating poorly. For me, I was afraid of the coming years continuing as I had! That's what was scary to me. I didn't want to leave my wife a widow before hitting 50 years old.

Also, attend your support groups through your hospital / surgery center. Communicate here. And: "To worry is to pay interest on a debt that might not even come due"

[Ronnivee 11]

I was Banded on June 16th and I had the same reservations/fears that you do.

1) regrets once you have the band in - I am sure you will have your days of regrets. Mine were days 4 and 5 post op. I thought to myself, what did I do. Lots of self-talk, journaling, reminding myself what brought me to this decision and reading others stories helped this feeling pass.

2) initial pain - I was fortunate enough to not have severe gas pain. But I did have pain/burning at my port site. Pain was managed through I'V medications at the hospital and liquid meds at home. By day 4 I didn't anything at all.

3) what if I fail - I think everyone feels this at one point in time. I think the beauty of the band is that it has it's own "restart" button. If at anytime you feel like you are "failing" you can go in for a fill. This allows you to examine your choices, figure out why you are gaining/not losing and modify your game plan. Remember, the band is not a quick fix, it is a tool to help you lose weight. If you use the tool correctly, you can't fail...

I wish you much luck!

[ledavis13 33]

We will be just fine!! I am scheduled on July 10th and I know the nerves are bound to kick in...but right now I am just excited and anxious to start my new life.

Remember how you feel everytime you do something that you are miserable doing because of the weight...or how you look in the mirror...or when your doctor gives you yet more bad news about your health? Well think about that and then think about the joy you will have when all of that no longer happens...it is so worth a few days or even a week of pain to get to that healthy person we are on the inside.

[Kathie52 31]

Cupcake, I know how your feeling. I am scheduled for the 6th and freaking out also. My pre op diet is kicking my a$$, hardest thing I ever did. Having that said, it doesn't take away from my mental satisfaction that I am actually doing something about my weight. You are 3x younger than me and my advise is that your so smart to do this before you go through menopause and all the other crap we women have to go through getting older.

I always think of 10 yrs down the road. What if I am facing open heart surgery, eye, kidney etc. problems because of diabetes. I look back and say "hmmm, that simple operation would of taken care of all this"

I hope I helped here. Please feel free to message me if you need to talk!

[banditalovely 25]

I am disappointed, I wrote a long and elaborate post to respond to this and my computer failed and deleted it....

Essentially, I am getting banded July 6th and share many of your concerns (or did). My big fears are how people will react to my weight loss and change in diet (no more chugging beers and eating pizzas with the boys). How I will like my new body (will I be a bag of skin? Will I lose weight in the right places?). And how I will cope with not having food as a comfort (I am seeking out support - therapy, overeaters anonymous, this forum, trying to start journaling). For me, as a type-A person who likes to do things right and be the best, a huge part of my anxiety was the food. Getting my supplements, taking the right Vitamins, following the rules so I don't make myself sick by being ignorant.

What really eased my mind was making a list of the things I needed, calling my Drs office and asking questions when I didn't understand the packet, posting on here for more variety/first hand experience with these issues, and then actually going out and making the purchases to prepare my self to be successful. I talked to my doctor about scars and found out about/opted for single incision. I got my Vitamins, found Protein powder/shakes I like, started tracking my calories (myfitnesspal.com), and bought a lapband specific cook book. I youtubed all sorts of skin remedies (I am using MSM and Biotin, and stopped tanning + more). I bought a fitness tracker (fitbit) and just set myself up for success. I ate through the excess food in my house that I wouldn't be allowed to have preop and post surgery so that it wasn't a temptation later. I made a bucket list of 10 foods I knew I would miss or restaurants I had been dying to try and I ate them all before starting my preop diet. I tried to count the calories and track them and see what I was really eating and I even took note of how I felt after each meal (to be honest when I really thought about the food, it wasn't as good as it was in my imagination). Thinking about my food I was also able to actually feel being full (not that that really stopped me from eating what I am kind of considering 'my last meals').

As for some of your direct questions, the pain can be monitored by pain killers that your Dr will prescribe. And the pain of surgery will last a few weeks most, but the emotional pain of being obese.... maybe we'll never fully kick that. Not to mention the physical pain of being obese -- chaffing, clothes pinching, sweating, walking far, stairs, sore feet, back pain, broken ankles (I fall all the time being fat and having awful balance). The reason I am doing the band instead of other bariatric surgery is because if I regret it, I can reverse it. You can get a 100% unfill, or the band removed completely. I can almost promise you will regret not getting it in a few years more than you regret getting it. I don't know if your regret is cost related (I am lucky that my insurance is paying), but when I talked to my surgeon, he asked why I decided now. I told him I got insurance that would cover it, and he said "but if you think about all the costs you have from being obese, is the band really that expensive?". I went home and crunched the numbers and I spent >$15,000 last year on food/fad diets/trainers/gyms/fat people clothes/obesity related drs appts/stretchmark creams/herbal remedies. The band costs well below that and will maybe even SAVE YOU money. I still can't imagine what it will be like not to tear through the only pair of jeans ($80/pair) that fit my body well every 3 months, and not having the perpetual "food drip oil stain" or "hole from where my stomach leans on the counter and rubs my jean zipper" on my shirts and having to buy new shirts every couple months (the same freaking shirts!!!). How nice it will be not to fight myself from breaking out the credit card at every infomercial offering weight loss/cleanse/diet pill. How it will feel to order $10 of chinese food and have leftovers rather than $40 of chinese food and wish that I had gotten those crab rangoons too.

I don't mean to be corny, but you can't succeed if you don't try. You automatically fail. So worrying about failure, seems moot. If you are like me, lapband is not the first diet plan you have tried. It is the last ditch effort to get your weight and life under control. By having the surgery you are upping your chances of success hugely, and without it, at least for myself, there would be virtually no chance of success, and a better chance at gaining another 100lbs in the next 4 years. A huge reason I chose lapband was because of the automatic support it provides and the virtually guaranteed success (with patience). You are REQUIRED to see your doctor for fills and follow ups. They don't just cut out half your stomach and say "good luck". They work with you and your band to help you get the results you are looking for. The support and motivation that seeing your doctor until you have it under control, for me, is a huge win. It almost feels fool proof as long as I am willing to put in the time and wait until I find my sweet spot.

My advice is to keep using this forum to ask any last minute questions you have. Re read through the surgeons packet and make sure you have no questions. Start taking the steps to success by purchasing the tools you need to begin with your best foot forward. Get into the mentality that you are about to add life to your life. Make a list of the things you want to do once you hit your goals and use that as motivation to do the preop diet and walk into the surgery feeling confident you can be successful. I started looking at all the skinny girl clothing sites that I have not fit into for >6 years and started making "shopping bags" of all the clothes I would want to fit into. I made a pinterst board of the tattoos, skydiving, rollercoasters and things that I can't or don't feel comfortable doing now, that I want to add to my life. Think of scenarios that frighten you (for me it is how I will be social with my friends without food) and make alternatives (go kayaking, see a movie, have a cookout at my house where I can provide myself with proper food, work out with the boys instead of drinking beer with the boys). My therapist helped me look up overeaters anonymous groups in my area and lapband support groups from my surgeons office and plan to attend a lot in the first few months. I'm sure it won't all be easy, but removing these "variables" has eased my mind SO MUCH.

I hope this is more helpful than preachy. It was actually a huge help to me to write all this down and reaffirm why I am doing this. I wish you luck with your surgery, fellow-july-bander. And please contact me or ask more questions. I don't have all the answers and I would love as much support as I can get as I make this change. This forum has been beyond helpful for me in answering questions and realizing that I am not the only person with my concerns. I have found plenty of people with the exact same fears/concerns/flaws and sometimes they have the answers too. There isn't one way to be successful on the band, and between lapbandtalk and youtube I have found the pieces I need to feel like I can succeed.

.... Can you imagine what my pre-deleted post was if this is my "essentially" version. HAHA.

[newdanielle 5]

I THINK EVERYONE HAS ALL OF THOSE THOUGHTS. I KNOW I DID.I WAS BANDED ON 3/21/12. SINCE THE SURGERY I AM DOWN 24 LBS., AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I ONLY WISH I HAD THE SURGERY SOONER. I THINK THE ONLY 2 TIMES I HAVE EVER QUESTIONED MY DECISION TO HAVE SURGERY WAS DAY 3 WHEN I STILL VERY BLOATED AND FILL OF GAS, AND THE FIRST TIME I HAD A FILL AND MY DR HAD A HARD TIME FINDING THE PORT BECAUSE ITS IN SOOO DEEP. AND ALL YOU HAVE TO KEEP TELLING YOUR SELF IS THAT YOU CAN DO THIS AND I FIND THAT GOING ON THESE BOARDS AND SEE THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE GOING THRU OR HAVE BEEN THRU WHAT YO GOING THRU HELPS ALOT!

[Lose100 178]

I was banded on 4/3/12. I went through and array of emotions. Fear, anxiety, excitement, and frustration. My fear was what if I failed yet again. I tried and failed soooo many diets. Anxiety about the pain during recovery. Excitement when I lost 4 dress sizes and was able to wear clothes that I haven't wore in years. Frustration when after 2 fills, I still didn't have restriction. Today, I am in the yellow/light green zone. I am very happy with my band. Your fears are normal but please don't allow it to hinder your success. My advice is to share your fears with your doctor, attend support groups, and continue to utilize this site. My only regret is not getting banded years ago. Feeling healthier and having more energy trumps any amount of pain that I experienced during recovery.

[lottidotti1979 1]

My surgery is scheduled for July 10th and I am very nervous too! I started my preop diet yesterday and I have really being struggling. Today I was starving at work. I felt light headed and could barely focus...then there are the thoughts of what happens 5, 10 years from now. The long term success rates for lapband isn't great and nobody really knows how long this foreign object can last in a body...I'm scared. But I'm also scared to stay fat. I can't be fat the rest of my life. Please pray for me.