Relationships?

[HolliJ 24]

I don't know about all of you, but being fat was a dealbreaker for me getting involved in a relationship. I was so petrified of it that I was in complete denial about even wanting a relationship. Granted, it was easier to not want sex or love, but it doesn't compare to actually having it.

I was single for 10 years - pretty much since I started gaining weight. For a long time I considered myself asexual, avoided flirtations (I felt disgusting), and swore myself to a life of being a spinster or crazy cat lady.

I met someone online about 15 years ago. I sent him a picture when I was 16 (I'm 29 now), but nothing after that. We never met and he didn't know what I really looked like, although I knew what he looked like. We were friends over the years and always kept in close contact. Sometimes we drifted somewhat apart, like if we got too close and he started getting demanding (pics or meeting)... then I'd push him away again.

Years later.... I got the lapband and I lost weight. I finally agreed to meet him in the beginning of the year, after we started getting closer (because I finally emotionally opened up and blew away my denials and mental walls), and it couldn't have been more perfect. We're now engaged and I'm moving to Wisconsin in a couple months to live with him. He's been my best friend and really the person who has pushed me to open up and "get out of myself".

I was a person that never thought I'd get married, so my life has dramatically changed since the lapband and losing weight.

How has it changed you and your relationships?

[waitingpatiently 250]

Thats awesome...what a great story. Congrats!!

[mjp33 4]

Wow! That's an awesome story! I can so relate to what you went through. I have a best friend too...but the difference is we have logged many hours of spending time together. We have always had a great connection, but I've never been open to taking it to the next level )(and I know it's because I was closed off and afraid).

It's funny that you use the word asexual because I've called myself that for years. Recently, my friend and I had a conversation and he was vey open about how he's wanted more for a long time. I'm still not in a place where I can totally open myself up,, but I am working in it. I loved reading about your journey, because it gives me hope for myself.

Congratulations and good luck with everything!

[hopetolose 192]

That's a great story and congrats to your new life. I feel very sad that you didn't have love in your life for all those years. It's amazing how something so trivial as weight can have on someones life. Im sure that your guy would have loved you no matter what if he knew you that well.

Good luck on your move and new life!!

[2muchfun 8,927]

I vote that you repost this story every day. I love success stories especially successful love stories.

tmf

[smilinginside 16]

thats awsome ery happy for you congrats, i know what you mean about not opening up, i was so scared to tell people about the surgery when i first got it, including my bf, as we hadent been dating that long, and he was phisically fit, i was worried about how he would react. when i finnaly did tell him, it turns out i was right he was very negative and we broke up, since then i havent been in a relationship,almost 3 years too worried about how things will turn out. I notice changes as i work towards my goal weight, i just hope to gain the confidence and open up like you did

Congrats again

[brunettey22 3]

I so know what you mean. I have had trouble always opening up. I constantly get told oh you have such a pretty face and well haha my body has just never caught up to that hype. So now that I've been banded and I will lose weight and be able to keep it off I am very confident that I will be able to allow myself to open up and be open with a guy! Being fat just puts a damper on things it's always like well yeh I don't really see you that way that garbage and me knowing good and well it is because I'm fat! Now everything is going to match up and I'm excited to find out what's ahead!

[Cazzy 725]

I think thats one of the nicest NSV's i have ever read on this forum ... ( NSV= non scale victory !) i am so pleased for you that really confirms how life changing this surgery can be for some people .. great news !

[bandbun 9]

I think thats one of the nicest NSV's i have ever read on this forum ... ( NSV= non scale victory !) i am so pleased for you that really confirms how life changing this surgery can be for some people .. great news !

I agree best NSV to read about, good luck for the future to both of you !

[daisychains7 427]

I am so glad that the confidence you gained through your weight loss journey helped you to open up. I can relate to a lot of the feelings you had about yourself. I think we get so used to being rejected, or ignored, that we close ourselves off to the possibility that we could find love. Your story gives me hope. Congrats to you and your fiance!

[shirley36 14]

great story congrats.

[cristy83 16]

Wow Holli that's an amazing sorry, congrats on your accomplishments and on your engagement. I with you much success...

[Bamabander 111]

Congrats and best wishes!