My Hubby Is Upset That I Scheduled My First Consultation, Help ;0/

[christinanewhart 1]

i scheduled my first information seminar, which is required before moving onto the actual consultation with the doctor.. so i have mixed emotions, im super excited but also very nervous. i chose dr harrison from lehigh valley hospital in allentown pa. i am hoping to get more information on how everything works and if they think ill be a good candidate for the procedure.

my husband isnt really on board with me doing this, he feels i shoild keep attempting to lose it naturally, which is a bit frustrating, but over all i honestly dont think i care if he is on board or not.. im not sure if thats a good or bad thing. when i told him about the free info night he wasnt thrilled, and said he thinks i shouldnt do it.. has anyone else not had the full support from their spouse or friends?

i know he wants me to be healthy and it isnt some fetish to have me big or anything.. i think he is genuinely worried about the procedure and the efffect on me negatively, if any, and the skin. i showed him some images and videos on youtube of people showing all their excess skin. i feel like im not flabby, im big but no that big, my skin has remained pretty tight, except for a little pouch im starting to get in my lower tummy.. i know hes scared what i might look like if my skin doesnt tighten back up.. to be honest i am too..

[djbrn02 6]

Don't worry about your husband. He will eventually come around when he see how determine you are. Give him some websites to look at in his spare time. You will be amazed when you notice a turn around. Stay strong and focus and the determination will follow. Good luck.

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

[christinanewhart 1]

your 100% right, i hope he doesnt think iim taking "the easy way out" bc honestly im scared shitless lol ive tried for so long to manage my weight, bc getting it off has never been an issue, it was keeping it off.. im just tired ya know.

[djbrn02 6]

I understand been there. You two will be find. It takes time for him to visual the new person you will be. But he will come around, you will see.

soon to be banded sista

[Jenn1214 120]

When I told people I was getting the Lap Band, they all thought I was insane. "Oh you don't need that, you're not that big." They weren't in my head or my body, so I did what was best for me and I have never regretted it.

As for the excess skin, it usually comes with the territory when you lose a lot of weight. As far as I'm concerned, it's better to be thin and healthy with a little droopy skin than face a lifetime of obesity related health problems. That's my opinion, anyway. When your husband sees how healthy and happy you're becoming, he'll have to be on board with it.

[sylviau 125]

i scheduled my first information seminar, which is required before moving onto the actual consultation with the doctor.. so i have mixed emotions, im super excited but also very nervous. i chose dr harrison from lehigh valley hospital in allentown pa. i am hoping to get more information on how everything works and if they think ill be a good candidate for the procedure.

my husband isnt really on board with me doing this, he feels i shoild keep attempting to lose it naturally, which is a bit frustrating, but over all i honestly dont think i care if he is on board or not.. im not sure if thats a good or bad thing. when i told him about the free info night he wasnt thrilled, and said he thinks i shouldnt do it.. has anyone else not had the full support from their spouse or friends?

i know he wants me to be healthy and it isnt some fetish to have me big or anything.. i think he is genuinely worried about the procedure and the efffect on me negatively, if any, and the skin. i showed him some images and videos on youtube of people showing all their excess skin. i feel like im not flabby, im big but no that big, my skin has remained pretty tight, except for a little pouch im starting to get in my lower tummy.. i know hes scared what i might look like if my skin doesnt tighten back up.. to be honest i am too..

My husband has been supportive, but was a little worried at the beginning. Thankfully he came with me to the information seminar. There, he was able to see how simple it was and all the benefits and talk to the dr too. Try to get him to go with you so he can see what its about. tell him its just information and that you're not making a decision, but just getting info on the option. when it comes down to it, you will be losing naturally, because the band is just a tool to help you stay on track with your diet... its not a cure and you can eat anything later.

as for the skin... i've freaked out about that too. looking at youtube vids about it, has not helped! lol! i have stopped doing that. and honestly, i've seen people lose weight without surgery and they still have excess skin... so its about your body and how it will do to losing weight, period. right now, i try not to worry about that,since there's always surgery for that later if needed! and by the way... on biggest loser, they lose without surgery and they always have extra skin! thats why near the end of the season, they always start using tight stretchy shirts instead of the sports bras from the beginning!

hope it works out! let us know what happens and how it goes!

syl

[Jim1967 3,569]

See if you can get him to go to that seminar with you. It could be an eye opening experience for him. My Wife and I both attended and her wanting to have a baby decided to wait and not have the surgery. I contemplated for a long time between Band or Bypass and we jointly decided that even though I was very big I had no health issues to warrant having my plumbing re-routed. I was banded in April and feel great.

Have you made attempts to lose on your own? For a lot of people losing is not the problem it is keeping off. While I understand you want to press on with or without you're husbands blessing it truly believe you will have a higher chance of success having him in your corner and cheering you on and providing the support..

I love this site and everyone on it but I think I would be struggling a lot if weren't for the support and encouragement from my Wife.

Just a male's opinion.....good luck!!

[dhales 98]

Maybe if you take him with you he will understand the procedure more. My husband was not on board at first and in fact he rolled his eyes when I mentioned it. I think his hesitation was more financial than my health...lol He hates to spend money. However I just kept going to the other appointments and then notified him of my date. It is nice to have them on board...but ultimately this is your health and your body and you have the right to do anything you want to it. Most husbands have a problem with it because they are worried you will lose the weight and leave them. It is an insecure response and most likely will not happen. I would just encourage him but don't let him influence you in this decision...it is yours and yours alone.

[Mayasgram 351]

Support is a wonderful thing .............. but taking control of your own life and body is even better. You will look better whether you have lose skin or not. but you will be 100% healthier , My husband was worried about the operation part, which is a piece of cake compared to learning the lifestyle that banded people must learn. If he doesn't get onboard well do whats best for you.. if you don't you may really regret it. Happy wife Happy life....

[kah1213 311]

Maybe you can get him to come with you to the info session so he can hear more and understand how this tool works? Just a thought. Good luck!

[christinanewhart 1]

thanks guys, this site has truly been a blessing for me. I am seriously considering your advice to take him along. I didn't ask bc I felt well if he doesn't want me doing it why would he come along, which I feel like an idiot now for thinking lol. I can see the insecure issue bc even as a bigger girl he is super attracted to me and gets a little jealous sometimes haha. hopefully he'll still feel that way if I were thinner. as for the skin I'm hoping a Tummy Tuck wil not be needed :0/ any suggestions to help reduce the risk of skin, like working out while loosing weight or anything?

again thank u guys so very much <3

[DaBlockzPRbabii 30]

Try to include him as much as you both are comfortable with. Having this procedure done is a life saver and if you feel its right for you then go ahead with it. I would suggest you do your research on every possible issue he might have with it and when you sit down and have a heart to heart conversation with him about this subject. Your husband seeing that you have done your research and that this is indeed something you have given plenty of actual thought it might just change his mind!

Having support from the people closest to you i believe is VERY important. Especially on the days where you want to "give up" and are frustrated.

[Sojourner 2,446]

There is really no way to get around the stretching of skin while one is obese; many of the same things happen with pregnancy. And I also believe that genetics and age have some influence over the resiliency of skin. Once it is stretched, it is what it is.

In the grand scheme of things, health is most important. If after you loose the weight if you are unhappy with your appearance, there are plastic surgery options you can consider having.

It would be a great benefit to you for your husband to be supportive of your decision regarding the surgery...but ultimately it is your body and your choice. I hope he is mature and insightful enough to understand that. Try to include him in all of the education and information consults so he has a better understanding about the procedure and the reasons this is so important to you.

[Shelleymb 75]

When I told people I was getting the Lap Band, they all thought I was insane. "Oh you don't need that, you're not that big." They weren't in my head or my body, so I did what was best for me and I have never regretted it.

As for the excess skin, it usually comes with the territory when you lose a lot of weight. As far as I'm concerned, it's better to be thin and healthy with a little droopy skin than face a lifetime of obesity related health problems. That's my opinion, anyway. When your husband sees how healthy and happy you're becoming, he'll have to be on board with it.

When I told one of the two friends that I told, she was shocked, and told me that she didn't think I needed it, that I wasn't that big. But after a few minutes of telling her that I don't feel good about myself any more, thats when she was on board.

@Christina If you just explain to your husband that this is for you and keep it personal in a way that he realizes that you aren't happy, I'm sure he'll come along. I'll admit, when my boyfriend told me this is what he wanted to do, I was against it, then I started researching EVERYTHING and once I had all the facts it sounded like something that I could do with out being as scared as I was. I'm still scared, but not as much as before. Just gather all the information that you can, knowlege is power!

[difa 114]

thanks guys, this site has truly been a blessing for me. I am seriously considering your advice to take him along. I didn't ask bc I felt well if he doesn't want me doing it why would he come along, which I feel like an idiot now for thinking lol. I can see the insecure issue bc even as a bigger girl he is super attracted to me and gets a little jealous sometimes haha. hopefully he'll still feel that way if I were thinner. as for the skin I'm hoping a Tummy Tuck wil not be needed :0/ any suggestions to help reduce the risk of skin, like working out while loosing weight or anything?

again thank u guys so very much <3

Good Luck. Speaking as a guy, I would like to think he'll support you. If anything is a little scared about you getting the surgery, but being a guy he has to hide it with "why don't you just try to lose it naturally". Personally my response is..."I still have to lose it naturally, this is just a tool to assist me along the way. The device doesn't gobble up extra food or calories, just gets me fuller quicker..."