female only Does Anyone Else Have A Controlling Mother ????

[ldjstonband 27]

Omg my mom is a nut case!!! She always tries to bring out the worst. She constantly puts ppl down. Calls me, this person is stupid this person don't need to wear that. You don't need to do this, you don't need to do that. Four days post op I was starving and had 1/2 cup Tomato Soup went down fine no problem. I'm on a liquid diet until tomorrow. She was like your supposed to be on clear liquid only your messing up your dumb why did you get this if your not following the rules. Last time I checked Tomato Soup was a liquid. Then she was like all nice hey you want me to ride with you to the doctor to keep you company?? I was like sure. Then she spilled the Beans I can't wait to ask the Dr if you were Supposed to eat tomatoe soup. I was like hell no this is my deal you can stay home if your gonna pull embarrising crap like that. I just don't get her she says I just don't want you to mess yourself up. I think its about controlling what I do. She tried to talk me out of getting the band. Still says stuff like I know a girl who has this band it does'by work for her at all. Your gonna have creepy saggy skin. Ya that girl comes to my job and eats a delux nachos and a sweet tea. I wonder why she is still big??? I'm sorry I just had to vent. Thank goodness I have I have supportive friends and a very supportive husband. He gets so frustrated with her. Babe she always tries to bring you down why do you still even talk to her? Because she is my mom. I just want her support with this band not her trying to snitch me out to my doctor for some type of personal satisfaction. : (

[SageTracey 608]

Yep, you still want/need to talk to her because she is your mom. But you do not need or want her on your band journey. She is acting like a saboteur. Play it really low key about your band around her. Don't get caught up her in silly power games. Don't let her near your doctor. You are old enough to have this surgery, old enough to be married, so you don't need her there for this.

Good luck!

[Helmut 9]

I know she is your mom buy you need to set the table straight with her. Honesty can hurt but in the end it is always best, She is likely unaware of her behaviour.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

oh i think shes very aware of her behaviour ! she has to say and do those things because SHE has to be in charge ! And yes i do think shes very controling ! You made a smart decision to get banded , so leave her out of it ! since she cant set healthy limits on how much she gets involved in your life, you have to set those limits for her. if not, she'll just keep walking all over you . You can be involved with her but let her know what the rules are ! Your husband and friends sound very supportive, so good for them ! good luck !

[Cazzy 725]

Firstly u wont have ruined anything by drinking Tomato Soup, I had never heard of Clear Liquids only here in the UK .. our post-op is liquids i drank my weight watchers Tomato Soup from day 5 i think it was .. i was on liquids 4 weeks post op, then mushies 4 weeks then normal food, just dont do any liquids that have lumps in or u couldnt drink with a straw( not literally) , thats a liquid then

As for comtrolling mothers.. did u think maybe your relationship with her was responsinble for your weight gain or some of it, it might well be u have to change your contact with your mum in order to cope with making the band a success for you. If she tells your doctor about the tomato soup he would probably laugh at her so dont worry about it, but start thinking about what is best for you and what u need, u have to come first till u have lost the weight u need to

[joannedt 83]

My mom is the same way. I am still learning how to not get hurt by her comments. She will never change. We can only control how we react to these types of people. I think my mom is ashamed of me for being "weak" and resorting to the lap band! I can't wait to knock her socks off with my new fantastic and healthy body! ???ƒ

[ldjstonband 27]

Wow this sight is amazing yall are so supportive. I didn't move in with my mom until I was 11 my grandma pretty much raised me while my mom drank and slept with all the married men in town. Now she is trying to run my life. Says I'm going to loose weight and cheat or leave my husband because I'm just like her. Well I'm nothing like her. I have custody of both if ny children I am there for them 100 % I don't drink or party or leave them or anything. She tells me I'm going to get skinny and basically be like her. I refuse to be anything like her. Even though it is a deep seeded fear as being fat all my life and not getting lots if male attention. But I like to think I will stay very faithful to my husband and make my family even stronger for my children. Omg she gets in my head ya'll!! I think she is jealous of my life I really do. Thanks for yall listening to me vent. I'm going to let her go and watch her look stupid and dumb. I'm not ashamed of what I have done I'm proud. I've lost 27 lbs and have a lot more to go. She has never held me back and in the end I do what I want and she can't stand it!

[ILUVMATH 25]

My mom is very similar. I haven't told her anything yet. I'm waiting until right before the surgery. She gets fixated on one thing & won't let go.

[ldjstonband 27]

Yeah I don't blame you my mom can sense anything I do j can't hide anything from her. She is like a German sheapered. She would have been a good police detective! Using her powers for good not evil!

[kmt1973 92]

It sounds like you are smarter, more mature, and have a great handle on your life, plus a great man in it. No one likes to think bad about their moms. Moms are supposed to want the best for their kids. If she is acting like a jealous woman than you need to stay your distance. Just like you would any other woman that acts like that. It definitly sounds like she is going to ruin your good life. Don't let her make you second guess yourself.

[ldjstonband 27]

It sounds like you are smarter' date=' more mature, and have a great handle on your life, plus a great man in it. No one likes to think bad about their moms. Moms are supposed to want the best for their kids. If she is acting like a jealous woman than you need to stay your distance. Just like you would any other woman that acts like that. It definitly sounds like she is going to ruin your good life. Don't let her make you second guess yourself.[/quote']

Thank you she went with me today to the Dr and he said Tomato Soup was just fine. Lol I was like BAM!!! Ha ha awesome!

[difa 114]

My mom is the same way. I am still learning how to not get hurt by her comments. She will never change. We can only control how we react to these types of people. I think my mom is ashamed of me for being "weak" and resorting to the lap band! I can't wait to knock her socks off with my new fantastic and healthy body! ðƒ

woohoo!!! YOU GO!

[Cazzy 725]

Thank you she went with me today to the Dr and he said Tomato Soup was just fine. Lol I was like BAM!!! Ha ha awesome!

i had a feeling that your Soup would be just fine

[difa 114]

Thank you she went with me today to the Dr and he said Tomato Soup was just fine. Lol I was like BAM!!! Ha ha awesome!

I was ULTRA PRIVATE as a teenager and my mother never understood why I didn't want her in my room...I remember one time she was in my room and she went through what books I had on my book shelf. I told her that was exactly my point. Why go through my belongings and then not expect me to freak out.

[curlyq2 17]

That's why I have never told mine and it's been 2 1/2 years!