Dating And Lapband?

[banditalovely 25]

I was wondering how people dealt with dating and the lapband. Eventually you would want to tell the person you are with.. or wouldn't you?

How have other people dealt with this? Anyone scare off a date with lapband talk?

[honk 780]

I guess you might tell someone eventually. I don't really see a reason to tell someone. I never told coworkers and I eat lunch with them. Unless you can't eat solids really not a problem.

[m1aman 944]

I probably wouldn't tell unless it got very serious. But then again, if they were sharing personal secrets with me I might open up sooner.

[Grandma3 73]

If you tell and it doesn't work out then you will wonder if telling them was the reason.

I would wait until there is a real relationship and if it is strong, it will not matter.

I definetly believe they should know if it is getting serious but I think I would wait.

[1shauna1 129]

I wonder about this too....I often have issues while eating out and worry about getting stuck on a date. I think anyone becoming intimate would wonder about the small scars and could feel my port. So, I don't know....I don't think I would just blurt it out; maybe wouldn't tell on the first date but I wouldn't "hide" it.

[PandorasBox92264 61]

I have told and haven't told friends or people that I have gone out with. My hubbyish/domestic partner boyfriend and love of my life now, I just asked him about it. I did tell him when we were getting to know each other, but he actually didn't give it much thought. I had had Fluid backed out to 6cc so I didn't have major restriction when we moved in together. I finally had a refill to 7cc a couple weeks ago and he went with me to the appt and actually went into the room with me when I had it done. It was freaky for me initially because I never had anyone go in with me, and he was sweet and stood away while the nurse weighed me. However they did blurt it out, and deep down that old feelings like in school of them weighing you in gym class kinda freaked me out a bit. He is very supportive, and said really it is not something that really matters or that needs to be disclosed. You might want to if things get serious or if you are having stuck issues or PBing times.

Everyone I have ever disclosed it to it has not mattered one bit.

One of the questions that I did ask the surgeon and he laughed was can the port area be damaged during sex or will it cause me to spring a leak. He started to grin and said No.. it is very stable and you can get crazy and it will be fine!

The scars I have found heal up and are not noticeable... Mike also says that he doesn't notice the scars and cannot feel the port... he said you have to really really look for it and feel around like your looking for a spleen or something! So relax..and have a good time!

[marfar7 1,533]

I started dating almost a yr after having the band (down about 70 lbs) after being widowed for almost 4 yrs. I told every guy I had a meal with (meeting for coffee didn't warrant telling them). All the guys I went out with thought it was interesting. I dated 1 guy for about 10 weeks that wanted me to have it out. I guess he was a "chubby chaser". When I met my now husband a yr and a half ago, I told him on our first date. When we became intimate, I showed him where my port was (at first he was afraid of hurting me when he touched it) and my scars. He never minded. He likes the fact that I've lost over 100 lbs. Especially when he sees before pics of me.

I never felt the need to keep it a secret from anyone. I'm proud of the fact that I made the choice to take charge of my weight and actually did it. My husband does worry a little when he hears me throw up that I'm gunna slip my band (which I did 4 mths ago). He tells everyone that he knows that I have the band too - I think he's a little proud!

Good luck to you! Don't worry. You'll know when the time to tell is right

Marci

[Krussell19 217]

I told my dates up front just because first dates usually consist of going somewhere to eat.. Plus I figure if it weirds them out or they have a problem with it we probably wouldnt be getting into a serious relationship because im always going to have it and im not ashamed!!

[Grandma3 73]

Great story marfar7

[booscaredu 0]

I'm always up front about it with everyone. If I go to a restaurant, I tell whoever is waiting on me because often times I want to order off of the kids menu (for the smaller portion). Also, I tell them because sometimes they feel like the food wasn't good if i'm sitting there with a full plate of food barely touched. I also have told every date I've gone on since the surgery the same and usually before they ask me out on the date. No one seems to mind a bit. I've had a lot of questions asked, and I'm ok with that. I think having the band was the best thing I ever did for myself and if me sharing my story with someone could help them or someone they know, then I'm happy to share.

[bbbanded 70]

I told my boyfriend a few days after I did the surgery, he had soooo many questions. When I showed him my incisions he told me I looked injured..he's an odd one. That about covers it, although he mentions how I look thinner everytime he sees me. Not possible ha but I'll take it.