Buyers Remorse?

[Mlivingston04 11]

I have not made a post about my surgery and how I'm feeling because it has all been so confussing to me. My surgery was on Monday June 4th. Everything has been going great. I had no bad gas pain. My belly has not hurt and as of yesterday I was even able to lay on my tummy to sleep. I have had some trouble getting all the Water and Protein in but I'm working on it. I have not taken pain killers since I woke up out of surgery because I have not had any pain.

Yesterday was my first adventure out of the house and I went garage saleing( that may have been a little to much for first day out ). I had a good time and got great excersie in.

Here is my problem....all I have been thinking about is food. Sometimes I'm not even hungry. I feel depressed and day 3 even had what I explained to my husband as "Buyer Remorse". This all would make since if I was having trouble, in lots of pain, ect but I'm not. I kept saying things like "I chose this" after looking at my stomach I would say "who does this to themselves". Seriously I was and still kind of am DEPRESSED.

It is so weird. I have never said the words "food addition" in response to me but I believe its true. I feel like I did 20 years ago when I quit smoking. It seems every conversation ends up about food, ever commercial is about food ect.

My body is healing fine....I feel fine....my mind is not doing so well.

Today I got up and told myself that I need to snap out of it. I got up and cleaned my room, drank a cup of dec coffee, had some protein, and some liquidfid oatmeal. I plan to keep busy and start my life. I feel like if I don't make myself snap out of this that it could go down hill quick.

Today I am choosing to take it minute by minute and then day to day. I have planned my days around food for years. I need to find something I like and start doing it. I need to get up and live life and Im starting today.

[Boniluuu 25]

I went through the exact same thing! There are so many commercials about food. I tell people it is more than a physical surgery it is mental too. I was mourning my old life, my old ways, I felt like I had post pardum depression again. It will pass though. It took me about 4 weeks. I told the nurse, surgery center and aftercare people that there should be more focus on the emotional part. I had my surgery 4/11/12. I hope things get better for you soon. Know that you are not alone in your feelings

[fericito 138]

First off a great big virtual hug. I am so glad you posted so that others like me could hear what you're going through. Your current experince is one of my fears about the surgery. If I don't have food, what do I have? I think you're entitled to feel that way and maybe it is a form of depression - letting go of something you loved for so long. So my 2 cents is have a 5 mnute or so pity party and then do just what you said - get on with your life. There's got to be all kinds of stages to this and sounds like you're going through a sad one. I'm sorry that's hard - but I'm also really proud of you and glad you're not suffering in some of the other ways. Hang in there!! You're strong enough I know you are.

[running_scared 125]

I sometimes feel very similar. food has been the pole around which I orbit, and some days I find it hard to adjust to that. Sometimes I feel like there is now something missing from my life; something that used to tie me down. Most days, I'm happy to not think about food all the time, but other days, I still do think constantly about food, and it makes me a little sad.

My step-sister told me that I need to find a new hobby; something to fill my leisure time with; something to look forward to. She is right, I do need to find something else to do, but I am still struggling with what that should be. The smart thing to do for me, would be to fill it with exercise (and maybe some days, it will be what I choose) but currently, I fill it with cruising the internet, and reading inspirational stories on LBT, and thinking about how many new things I will be able to do, once I lose 100 pounds. I have always been very overweight, and so there are so many things that I've never done, so I don't even know to miss them. Somedays, I do a lot of online window shopping; looking at clothes and shoes that I will be able to wear.

Good luck on your journey, to find your new 'pole'. I plan on getting some counselling to try and adapt mentally, as healthily as possible, to this new big change. Maybe that might help you as well?

[kmt1973 92]

I was banded 3/19/12, I felt the same way. Boniluuu gave some good advice. This too, shall pass, I promise. food was our way of life, now we are supposed to just let it go. Well, after a lil over a month I realized I let it go and didn't even know I done it. It does get better, just don't dwell on it. Like the saying goes, idle hands are the devils workshop, so is an idle mind. Keep your mind and body occupied.

[kagcee 1]

I was banded 21April 2006! And even now 6 years later food is my wakening thought as it is my going to sleep thought!

I am 14 stone lighter, and many dress sizes smaller, yet I still have issues with my life revolving around food! What I can and can't eat, how much or little? Seems the mindset remains ! I have had many fills, and unfills, a pouch at one time and have been a tiny UK 6! Now a 10/12 from a 26 UK size. I am happy, yet still have size issues!

I put weight on, I loose it! Currently eating too much! When am I going to be content and happy??

[fericito 138]

I was banded 21April 2006! And even now 6 years later food is my wakening thought as it is my going to sleep thought!

I am 14 stone lighter, and many dress sizes smaller, yet I still have issues with my life revolving around food! What I can and can't eat, how much or little? Seems the mindset remains ! I have had many fills, and unfills, a pouch at one time and have been a tiny UK 6! Now a 10/12 from a 26 UK size. I am happy, yet still have size issues!

I put weight on, I loose it! Currently eating too much! When am I going to be content and happy??

I just wanted to say I hope you find a moment or too of it RIGHT THIS MINUTE because you inspired me. Don't give up. You sound like you've done (and continue to do) amazing and hard things and I think that's awesome! Hang in there.

[Sombra1718 55]

I am in the same place. I have been running on a very dissociated motivation for the last couple of months. Not very excited about the band and sad because I had to get it. But before I started feeling like this I had done tons of research and I was very motivated to eat right and embrace the band. I just feel bad now about getting it but I wonder how much of my depression comes from the intense pain of the surgery and the fact that I have not actually eaten any solid food in a month. I hope I can be happy again and be happy that I got this band.

[PandorasBox92264 61]

I think the majority of us, maybe not all of us.. I am not going to assume here have felt that way. I remember waking of thinking 'what the heck have I done.'

For many when we are sad, happy, as a reward etc we have gone to food to satisfy or make us comfy and happy.

You probably have some residual air and bloating from the surgery, so when you start to notice the difference in your clothing it will go away. You will notice you have more energy, more active, not so tired, skin looks better and the list goes on. It is your inner sabatoge system that is working on you at the moment so just realize it for what it is and post if your scared or nervous.

It is a tool as I am sure you have read before, it is not a quick fix and we are all in the same boat because of our love affair with food.

Just get the Protein down, drink your fluids, read through these posts to help you toss off the Buyers Remorse!

[fericito 138]

I am in the same place. I have been running on a very dissociated motivation for the last couple of months. Not very excited about the band and sad because I had to get it. But before I started feeling like this I had done tons of research and I was very motivated to eat right and embrace the band. I just feel bad now about getting it but I wonder how much of my depression comes from the intense pain of the surgery and the fact that I have not actually eaten any solid food in a month. I hope I can be happy again and be happy that I got this band.

Ashley I believe you can and you WILL!

[misslock 10]

I don't know how many of you had to meet with a nutritionist before hand but I did for 5 months and it really helped me food as fuel. If course food has instant gratification but that's not how it's supposed to be. The 2 week liquid diet made me see how I was just eating emotionally and didn't need to it or was just thirsty. My health and happiness are more important than instant gratification and a less healthy life. Just think of how good it feels to lose weight and do more. Food is fuel, not our friend to rely on. Good luck and maybe examine tour relationship with food with a therapist. I got banded yesterday and am excited for the future, 15lbs down, 90 to go.

[donna12 742]

I have not made a post about my surgery and how I'm feeling because it has all been so confussing to me. My surgery was on Monday June 4th. Everything has been going great. I had no bad gas pain. My belly has not hurt and as of yesterday I was even able to lay on my tummy to sleep. I have had some trouble getting all the Water and Protein in but I'm working on it. I have not taken pain killers since I woke up out of surgery because I have not had any pain.

Yesterday was my first adventure out of the house and I went garage saleing( that may have been a little to much for first day out ). I had a good time and got great excersie in.

Here is my problem....all I have been thinking about is food. Sometimes I'm not even hungry. I feel depressed and day 3 even had what I explained to my husband as "Buyer Remorse". This all would make since if I was having trouble, in lots of pain, ect but I'm not. I kept saying things like "I chose this" after looking at my stomach I would say "who does this to themselves". Seriously I was and still kind of am DEPRESSED.

It is so weird. I have never said the words "food addition" in response to me but I believe its true. I feel like I did 20 years ago when I quit smoking. It seems every conversation ends up about food, ever commercial is about food ect.

My body is healing fine....I feel fine....my mind is not doing so well.

Today I got up and told myself that I need to snap out of it. I got up and cleaned my room, drank a cup of dec coffee, had some Protein, and some liquidfid oatmeal. I plan to keep busy and start my life. I feel like if I don't make myself snap out of this that it could go down hill quick.

Today I am choosing to take it minute by minute and then day to day. I have planned my days around food for years. I need to find something I like and start doing it. I need to get up and live life and Im starting today.

to you a great big virtual hug! I get banded next week and I'm sure I will have feelings like this, I already do to some extent by being on this 2 week liquid diet. I mean, my mom and I would go out to lunch pretty much every day and I miss that, not only my fav foods but miss going out but I either go to her house or she comes to mine and she will eat something and I will have my shake or broth during these past 2 weeks, tolerable.

With all this being said, I do want to point out that my eye is on a healthier me. My weight destroyed my marriage, well, him falling out of love with me that is and having an affair. I was married for 25 years and just recently divorced, will be one year this month. I want to focus on a new me, a healthy me. One that can exercise for the first time in 20 years, do recreational things, fun things with friends and family that I have let weight hold me back. I have let my weight hold me back on so many levels and when I made the decision to have surgery I said goodbye to the old me. Yes, I seek counseling every 6 weeks on a regular basis and we talk about food addiction and how I will cope with things so I can honestly say my therapist is wonderful, I love him. One accomplishment of mine is to sit in a plane seat and spill over into the next seat with my hips, wow what a feeling that will be! I currently weigh 287 and at 5'2" I've got a long way to go but I can do it and so can you. I pray you find peace in yourself and move forward and don't look back. Look at food as nourishment to your body instead of missing out on it.

On one last note, you would not believe the sugar-a-holic I was, I mean I would eat pies, candy, Cookies, even buy a birthday cake for myself so that I could eat it. Since starting my 2 week pre-op diet, I have not craved any sugar or sweets.

I have confidence that YOU can do this and with success!

Donna

[jeani81 93]

I felt the same way about 3 days post op. I am now 16 days post op and I am embracing my choice and desire to not only be healthier but to look healthier. Most people who are overweight have a personal relationship with food and turn to it whenever there is stress. I myself am an emotional eater and was very depressed when I know I no longer have that security blanket to turn to. Now we just need to be positive and work through the issues we need to to develop a healthy relationship with food.