help!!!

[dylansmom 27]

I honestly do not have any money to give. I am struggling here myself, and had insurance pay for most of my surgery. Which is the only way I could afford it. I was sick for so long, that I am just now paying off my doctor bills as well.

You don't have to donate a dime to be kind to someone, however, and to welcome them into the fold at LBT. Kindness is priceless, less the self sacrifice it takes to give that kindness to the other person.

P.S. And if it was just someone trying to scam us, then they probably won't come back. But at least we will have done our part to be kind, and it still hasn't cost us even a cent.

[cashley 0]

You don't have to donate a dime to be kind to someone, however, and to welcome them into the fold at LBT. Kindness is priceless, less the self sacrifice it takes to give that kindness to the other person.

P.S. And if it was just someone trying to scam us, then they probably won't come back. But at least we will have done our part to be kind, and it still hasn't cost us even a cent.

You are correct on this and I would have been more kind had this person made an attempt to join our community. Discuss topics with us etc. I'm new here and probley not that well know but you can tell if someone just wants our donations vs someone that really wants our support.

[Dody 0]

The person said they could post a picture, but they didn't. That seemed a little strange to me. A picture is sometimes worth a thousand words towards believability.

We had a child in our community with a disease and the parents had no resources to take her to a big hospital for the treatment she needed. She has San Phillipi Syndrome....anyway the community came together (friends of the parents started things off) and they had dinners and silent auctions and raised the money to send this little girl for her treatment. I just think there are better ways to raise money than to jump right into a forum with a story (a story which many of you personally can relate to but are asking for nothing) and not post a picture or anything else. I guess you know after the things that have happened on the internet you have to be cautious. Just posting a letter asking for donations is not really the way to go when you are appearing on a forum for the first time. Come on now, you have to be a little leary. Of course we want to believe what we hear, but in reality we know what is going on in the world and the horrible things being pulled on the elderly and others. It is hard to trust the word of someone who just appears on the forum with a heartfelt story. I have one of my own if you would like to hear it....but it's not my style.

I'm here to learn and support, and yes there are times that posts anger me. This one did not anger me but made me extremely leary, especially with no picture. So be it....it is up to each person to follow their heart.

[3loves 0]

princess_n_thep ~ I am surprised that you think she did not ask US to donate based on her first post and you think that by being skeptical is being judgmental. Like I said, and as others had suggested, there are much better ways to raise funds. Unfortunately, we do live in a society of scammers....I know b/c I do a lot on E-Bay and I've seen a lot. I recently had a guy that contacted PayPal saying I didn't ship an item 3 mos ago. Needless to say, I expected this some day and had documentation and contacted PayPal immediately. It didn't go any further.

I would REALLY encourage you to donate and support this effort if you feel so strongly about it. More power to you and her! I for one, cannot afford to take the risk of donating to something of this nature where the questions are too many. Cashley & Doty said it all very well. My mother does a lot on the computer and finds PayPal challenging at times. Don't you think if someone has "never worked a day in her life", her words, has something to offer skill wise to earn some money?

I guess I've been with E-Bay and PayPal for too long to be so eager to support this idea. I have had numerous of attempted scams that have come across my e-mail. In addition, I have been a victim of identity theft. Does that make me judgmental or not open-minded? I think not. Just last week, my husband and I pulled over to offer a homeless man a chicken dinner from Lee's. He thanked us, but turned us down b/c he was a vegetarian. It was a good lesson to teach our children to at least TRY to help those in need. The Lord is good to us and I would help anyone with anything if I was able. I have a very kind and tender heart, but I do have to protect myself and family first.

[NeenBand 7]

I'm a very compassionate person but I am very sceptical about stuff like this. Internet scams and phishing emails are getting very complex and manipulative in the way they get money from people.

As someone else said, if they were a member of the community it would feel better.

[shakeerah 0]

thank you kelly for that wonderful email and yes i tried to do almost about everything like dish network affiliate programs and working on ebay and i had about enough with ebay because i was doing drop ship up there and it was alot of people sending me fake bidpay and paypal invoices saying that they paid for the item and i must ship it now and that just made it worst and with dish network it seems like i cant get any sells with my ugly website because i dont no how to make a website that sells but here it is http://www.geocities.com/shakeerah06 any advice.

[Wheetsin 714]

Where do you live? Bandsters are in every state. Perhaps someone could put you in touch with some hiring employers, or even local job search sites. I know it can be uncomfortable to work when you're 300#, but lots of people do it every day.

[shakeerah 0]

Im in newark newjersey and i tried to get on ssi back in 2001 for my depression and anxiety but till this day i got denied but got to get a lawyer for a hearing in court so mabe i will win but my doctor said i have social phobia and i think its because of my weight so working around people is going to be real hard to do thats why i was trying to do a work at home job but failed.

[ajack 0]

yes- i admire your effort and wish i had money to give. I have a friend who can not afford the surgery yet either. several of us are over 300 # . i was 385 day of surgery. and i own three businesses . i have been over 300 since high school and work since

good luck

[Marie485 0]

I have to agree with cashley. I have a daughter who is mentally handicapped and weights 290 and works plus gets SSI and state medical. If she could understand that she would not be able to eat that much and what she can't eat I'd get her the lapband if possible. Where there is a will there is a way.

[Dody 0]

Although sceptical I thought of one more thing. My community has a news station that you can call if you feel you have had unfair treatment or are in need. I was just thinking that perhaps you could contact the news team at your local TV station (or stations) and tell someone your story. They would probably want to do an interview with you to make sure all is authentic, and then perhaps they would air it on the news. Sometimes I've seen them mention accounts have been set up at a local bank for donations, etc. Sometimes other people come forward with ideas to help. Maybe even a dr. would come forward. We have an eye dr. here in my community who does two surgeries a mo. for people that are unable to afford it. He is a well-known dr. and this is excellent for his business. This is a possibility for you and would most certainly be good advertising for the dr. Please give this a thought. If you are truly in need there is a way to get help. Please think about this and make a few phone calls. Let the people in your community know of your need. Hope this helps.

I don't think anyone means to be unkind. It is just the world unfortunately that we live in today. I'm old enough to remember when it wasn't like this, but that isn't the case anymore, and especially since the internet. Best wishes to you. Call those TV news stations and try and get some help. It's worth a try.

I don't blame anyone for trying or having to protect their families. It is the most valuable thing in this world to us. As a retired nurse from the ER I have seen every kind of behavior there is in this world, and kind of feel like this person just may be sincere, but needs to go about this the right way. Call TV stations...call your Senator...be heard!! It sounds like you are eligible for disability, and although it's an ugly fight there are people out there to help you. You have to reach out to them. The people of this forum are the kindest in the world, but most have trouble having their own surgeries. Some have large loans, mortgaged homes....because you have this surgery is because of a real want to, not necessarily because the money is right there. There are lots of real struggles just on this forum alone. You have to be a fighter and not give up on this.

[Wheetsin 714]

Have you talked with your doctor about meds for your anxiety if they're so severe that they qualify as a disability? There are some out there that do wonders for people, honestly. And lots of jobs don't even require a lot of public contact. I think you'll be able to find something that fits you.

Do talk with your doctor though. I can't state this for a fact, but I don't think a social anxiety disorder w/o medical treatment (and probably with, since it's the most common anxiety disorder around) counts as a full-fledged disability. Have you worked before, either through an external employer or for yourself through a sole proprietorship or LLC?

[Dody 0]

Im in newark newjersey and i tried to get on ssi back in 2001 for my depression and anxiety but till this day i got denied but got to get a lawyer for a hearing in court so mabe i will win but my doctor said i have social phobia and i think its because of my weight so working around people is going to be real hard to do thats why i was trying to do a work at home job but failed.

If you e.mail me and tell me the name of your governor, senator, TV stations, etc. I will make some phone calls on your behalf and ask them for their support. I will need to know who and where you are and a lot of things about you, but I'm willing to step out on a limb and try and make your story heard in your community. If you want help please let me know.

Please use this e.mail. Mom42@cableone.net. I check it on a regular basis.

[shakeerah 0]

Thanks everyone you are so kind i really don't have much to say but thank you and for dody i will email you soon ok wheetsin yes i take meds and see a doctor on a regular basic and he said i suppose to had been on ssi but everything is going so wrong and all the time i think about working but i be thinking what if i have a panic attack at the interview or something just crazy like that but i will do something and the name of the meds i take is lexapro and risperdal and all it do is cause me to sleep half of the day so i no a job wouldnt last that long with me lol.

[ajack 0]

where do you live?